Dom Wars: Round 6 by Aden Lowe, Lucian Bane Page B

data. The heat was oppressive and the air was non-existent causing sweat to roll down every inch of my body and collect in my boots. When the odd data collection grew boring, a past joke surfaced to rescue me. “So,” I began loud enough for all of them to hear. “Once there’s a man who was talking to God. ‘God, how long is a thousand years?’ God answered, ‘A thousand years is a day to me.’ The man says, ‘How much is a million dollars to you?’ God answered, ‘A million dollars is like a penny.’ The man smiled and said, ‘Well can I have a penny?’ God smiled back and said, ‘Sure. In a minute.”
    The joke earned me a few snorts and a snicker, but that was plenty to egg me on. “I got a good one,” I said. “One day, Jesus, Moses, and an old man go golfing right? First one to tee off is Moses. He smashes the ball and it heads right for the water hazard before the green. Moses raises his club, the water parts, and the ball makes it to the green. Next, Jesus gets up to swing, cranks it out, and it heads for the water hazard too. Jesus closes his eyes and prays, the ball skips across the water and lands on the green two feet from the hole. Now it’s the old man's turn. He comes over and drives the ball. The ball looks like it is going to drop directly into the water. A fish jumps from the water swallowing the ball, as an eagle drops from the sky, grabbing the fish. The eagle flies over the green, a bolt of lightning strikes the eagle, and it drops the fish. The fish hits the green, it spits out the ball and the ball falls into the hole, making a hole in one. Then Jesus looks at Moses and says, "I’m leaving dad home next time.”
    That earned a round of laughter.
    “Okay, I have one,” Tara said, huffing as we climbed. “Two nuns were riding their bicycles down the street. The first nun says, ‘I've never came this way before.’ The second nun says, ‘Yeah, it's the cobblestones.’”
    We all let our laughter rip after a few seconds then Tara chuckled. “Why did God create alcohol?”
    “Why?” I asked.
    “So ugly people could have sex, too.”
    We all laughed and Preacher said, “I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. I immediately ran over and said ‘Stop! Don't do it!’ ‘Why shouldn't I?’ he said. I said, ‘Well, there's so much to live for.’ ‘Like what?’ he asked. ‘Well ... are you religious or atheist?’ He said, ‘Religious.’ ‘Me too. Are you Christian or Jewish?’ ‘Christian,’ he said. ‘Me too. Are you Catholic or Protestant?’ ‘Protestant.’ ‘Me too. Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?’ I asked. ‘Baptist.’ ‘Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?’ ‘Baptist Church of God,’ he said. ‘Me too! Are you Original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?’ ‘Reformed Baptist Church of God.’ ‘Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?’ ‘Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!’ he answered. At that point, I pushed him off the bridge and yelled, ‘Die, you heretic scum!’”
    Another round of laughter and it was Becca’s turn. “What is the fastest animal in Ethiopia?”
    “The gazelle?” Tara said.
    “No. The chicken.”
    Becca chuckled at the laugh that got. “I have another. “Three guys were in the jungle and were captured by a wild tribe. When they get to the camp, the chief says, ‘We will let u live, if u can do a task. If you fail, we will kill you. The first thing you need to do is get ten fruit, any fruit, then come see us.’ So the first guy comes back with ten apples, and the chief says, ‘Now, shove them all up your ass without making a sound.’ So the guy gets to the third apple and he grunts, so they kill him and his soul floats up to heaven. Now the second guy comes back with ten grapes and the