Letting Go (Vice, Virtue & Video) by Bianca Giovanni Page A

and he stepped them up to
restaurant-level. This place is good, but nothing compares to what James can
whip up.
    “So you’re working pretty frequently now, right?” I ask, pulling
a piece of chicken off my kabob.
    He pops a falafel in his mouth and nods. “Yeah. Trying to
stay busy, climb the ranks and shit.”
    “You must be doing a good job. Didn’t you tell me you got
nominated for one of those award things?”
    “Yep. It was pretty sweet. I’m not gonna win it, but it’s
still cool.”
    He recently received a big nomination for a prestigious porn
award. He’s trying to act like it’s no big deal, but I remember how excited he
was when he called me about it. I didn’t really know the porn industry had
awards before James told me. According to him, there are actually several award
shows for the adult industry. The one that gave him the nod is supposedly the
biggest. It would be the equivalent of the Oscars, I guess. Even though I knew
absolutely nothing about it, I was happy for him.
    “How do you know you’re not going to win?” I ask.
    “They always give it to older guys,” he says. “I’m still too
green. They’ll give it to one of these dudes who have been in the business for
a decade. It’s a paying-your-dues thing.”
    “Ah, I see.”
    “Still gets you a lot more work, though. I booked, like,
five jobs within the first two hours of them announcing the nominations.”
    “Wow! You’re in demand, stud,” I tease.
    “People dig me. I just can’t help it,” he playfully brags.
    “How’s life outside of porn?” I ask.
    “Good. Pretty much the same as before.”
    “So…threesomes and bitchy porn stars?”
    He laughs and shakes his head. “They’re not all bitchy. In
fact, I prefer my threesomes with the nice girls.”
    I roll my eyes, but I can’t help but chuckle.
    “The only thing is, so many of them are porn stars
twenty-four seven, you know what I mean?”
    I shake my head.
    “They like to fuck. I get it. We all like to fuck, but
sometimes I feel like that’s all we do.”
    “James Laird feeling burned out on constant sex? Somebody
alert the media! I can’t believe my ears right now!” I joke.
    “I’m not burned out on it,” he replies. “Sometimes it gets a
little boring, is all.”
    “I’ve never heard you say anything like that before in my
life.”
    “Don’t get me wrong, it’s still fun. I went to see The
Borne Ultimatum with this girl, and she cave me a handy in the theater. It
was pretty cool.”
    His expression is much less enthusiastic that it normally
would be. I can tell he’s trying to convince himself.
    “That seems kind of gross.” I blush as I shake my head. “I
mean, what about cleanup? It’s not like those old porn theaters. You wouldn’t
expect to go to a Matt Damon movie and sit down in someone’s jizz.”
    He laughs loudly, leaning over the table like he can’t
handle it. “That’s what your mouth is for,” he says, grinning.
    “Eew!” I grab my stomach like this is totally nauseating.
    “It’s not like it was opening weekend. It wasn’t crowded in
there. We went in; we sat kinda toward the back. Halfway through the movie, she
starts rubbing my crotch. Pretty soon, she’s jerking me off, and I’m just
trying to keep quiet. There’s a lot of action in that movie, so people don’t
hear anything over the sound effects and stuff. She blows me for a little bit,
I finish, then we watch the rest of the movie.”
    I raise my eyebrow as I stare at him. “Honestly, that has
got to be the saddest handjob story I’ve ever heard.”
    He looks surprised, and he erupts in laughter. “Sad?” he says
breathlessly. “How is that sad?”
    “First of all, you can’t even go the duration of a feature
film without having to get off? Second, I feel bad for anyone around you who
saw what was going on. People are there to watch a movie, not watch two
off-duty porn stars mouth-fuck in the back row.”
    He’s cracking up as he listens to