122 Rules by Deek Rhew Page B

lowlifes Mary Beth is always trying to hook me up with. Jesus, what’s up with that? Doesn’t she have anything better to do than meddle?”
    “Seriously?”
    Susan sighed, shaking her head.
    Lisa continued, “I’m just sayin’ you could do worse. It’s rare a good-looking stranger comes to town, and when it happens, you should try and make an impression. Come. Stand. Let’s have a look at you.”
    Susan rolled her eyes but did as instructed. Her boss inspected her, examining her shoes, her outfit, and her hair. Lisa scrutinized Susan’s makeup with the intensity of a biologist studying a new strain of bacteria. “It wouldn’t hurt to fix yourself up a bit, you know.”
    “What do you mean by that?”
    “Hon, you don’t exactly look ready to be on The Bachelorette . You’re pretty, maybe not as pretty as me, but still, you’ve got something to offer.”
    Susan put her hand on her hip. “Gee, thanks.”
    “You know what I mean. Now turn around,” Lisa said.
    Susan rolled her eyes but spun. Lisa started fussing with Susan’s dark hair. She experimented with a braid. “Hmmm… What we really need is a brush. Go get me yours.”
    “I don’t have one with me.”
    Sighing, Lisa went to a nearby metal desk, opened one of the large bottom drawers, and started rummaging through it. In the original configuration, the office had been set up for eight employees, but with just the two of them left, she had been able to allocate one of the empty workspaces to house her many beauty products.
    “You know, I have these drawers for just such emergencies. You could”—Lisa stopped the search to look up—“and should use them.”
    Susan rolled her eyes again.
    Lisa found the brush and started running it through her friend’s tangled, twisted hair.
    “Ow!” Susan yelped as Lisa worked her head over with the industrial-sized implement.
    Lisa stopped to look at the brush. Black chunks and some kind of awful residue now coated its teeth. “What did you use for dye? Shoe polish?”
    “I don’t remember. Whatever was on sale.”
    Lisa threw her hands in the air. “Whatever was on sale? Really? Oh, honey, there’s no way this is going to be enough. Okay, we’re closing the office for a couple of hours. Time for an extreme makeover!”
    “But there’s so much to do.” Susan gestured toward the boxes of paperwork.
    “You’re right. I suppose I should run it by the board first. Wonder if I can get them all together on such short notice?” She put her hand to her chin as if thinking it over then nodded, as if by sheer determination she could make it happen. “Yes. Yes, I think I can. I summarily declare the board meeting in session. All in favor of closing the office to deal with this emergency… Aye! All opposed?”
    Susan raised her hand.
    “Sorry, dear, you aren’t a voting member. Looks like the motion has been passed by an overwhelming one hundred percent of the senior staff.”
    “Lisa, I can take care of myself.”
    “Can you? You come and go and do and wear the exact same thing every single day. I’m tired of being the only one who has any fun around here.”
    Susan laughed. “Your life is fun?”
    “Well, honey,” she said while smiling mischievously and touching Susan’s nose with a finger tipped with a perfectly manicured nail, “it sure ain’t boring. Look, I’m not talking about kids and a white picket fence. That guy isn’t going to stick around. You saw him. He has ‘short-term’ written all over him. He was flirting with you, so use that. Have a little fun then cast him aside. That’s all I’m sayin’.”
    “You think he was flirting?”
    “Honey, you have been out of the game so long you forgot the rules. God, yes! He barely even glanced at me; his eyes were on you the entire time. Little more makeup, some different clothes, and a dash of charm, and he’ll be putty in your hands.”
    Susan nodded. “It has been a while since I’ve gone out.”
    Lisa’s newest employee had