going to just see it on the news, and that wouldn’t be great. I’m not sure if I have the energy to deal with my mother, so I’ll tell Will and let him pass it on.’
Laura knew what Imogen’s response would be. She would never miss such a golden opportunity to speak to her ex-husband.
‘I’ll phone Will. Leave it with me. I’ll do it in a minute,’ Imogen said, a thoughtful expression on her face.
‘Oh, and can you check that the message light is on, Imo. And if it is…’
Imogen interrupted her. ‘Yes, I know what to do, Laura, don’t worry.’
‘And then there’s Alexa. I really need to do what I can to help her, poor kid. She’s only twelve - and a very young twelve at that. It’s going to hit her so hard. I can guarantee her mother will be totally useless. Alexa needs to be able to grieve for her father without getting Annabel’s version of what a shit he was. I know she’s his ex-wife and almost duty bound to loathe him, but surely she will just this once put her daughter’s feelings before her own?’
Aware that she was babbling, Laura glanced across at Imogen, who was looking at her in a strange, but determined way. Her next words confirmed that she had just been waiting for an appropriate pause in Laura’s ramblings to jump in.
‘Before you digressed somewhat, you said - and I quote - “You think you understand, but you actually don’t have the faintest clue.” I think you’d better explain that statement.’
Laura stood up from the sofa. Imogen was watching her too closely, and it made her uncomfortable. She walked over to the fireplace and crouched down to poke the embers. She didn’t have the energy to justify her statement to Imogen right now. But Imogen hadn’t finished.
‘I’m not a hypocrite, Laura, and I detested your husband with a vengeance. There’s more to this ‘not having the faintest clue’ than meets the eye, and I need to know what it is. I promise you, I won’t give up until you’ve told me. I’m not here as your enemy, Laura. I’m here as your friend.’
Having poked the fire to death, Laura played for time whilst she added more logs, arranging each one with unnecessary care. She knew that Imogen deserved an explanation. She had lied to her, or at least she had never told her the whole truth. But they had gone years without seeing or speaking to each other and too much had happened. Too much to explain in a single evening.
‘I’m honestly not in any fit state to tell you, Imo. I know nowadays we’re all encouraged to bare our souls at the drop of a hat, but I don’t entirely subscribe to that theory. When I was in the home I saw enough instances of people regurgitating the same problems over and over again, when it would have served them better to push them to the back of their minds and just get on with life. However, you do have a right to know. I will concede that.’
There was a long drawn-out silence. Laura was fighting an internal battle, and it was clear that Imogen wasn’t going to help. Finally, Laura made a decision, and not one she had been intending to make.
‘I wrote you some letters.’
‘What letters? I haven’t had a letter from you in years. What on earth are you talking about?’
‘I didn’t send them.’
Laura paused. She didn’t know if she could do this.
‘The first time I wrote to you was when you and Will started seeing each other, and I was sulking. I wrote to tell you how I felt - and then I read it. I was appalled at my selfishness and I tore the letter up. Since then, there have been times in my life when I’ve desperately wanted to know what you think, and times when I just wanted to clarify my own feelings and resolve any dilemmas, so I wrote you letters. Several of them. It all started when I first met Hugo. I wasn’t allowed to tell anybody about our relationship, so I wanted to capture every moment so that I could relive it with you when the time was right. I hated the fact that I couldn’t share it
Laura knew what Imogen’s response would be. She would never miss such a golden opportunity to speak to her ex-husband.
‘I’ll phone Will. Leave it with me. I’ll do it in a minute,’ Imogen said, a thoughtful expression on her face.
‘Oh, and can you check that the message light is on, Imo. And if it is…’
Imogen interrupted her. ‘Yes, I know what to do, Laura, don’t worry.’
‘And then there’s Alexa. I really need to do what I can to help her, poor kid. She’s only twelve - and a very young twelve at that. It’s going to hit her so hard. I can guarantee her mother will be totally useless. Alexa needs to be able to grieve for her father without getting Annabel’s version of what a shit he was. I know she’s his ex-wife and almost duty bound to loathe him, but surely she will just this once put her daughter’s feelings before her own?’
Aware that she was babbling, Laura glanced across at Imogen, who was looking at her in a strange, but determined way. Her next words confirmed that she had just been waiting for an appropriate pause in Laura’s ramblings to jump in.
‘Before you digressed somewhat, you said - and I quote - “You think you understand, but you actually don’t have the faintest clue.” I think you’d better explain that statement.’
Laura stood up from the sofa. Imogen was watching her too closely, and it made her uncomfortable. She walked over to the fireplace and crouched down to poke the embers. She didn’t have the energy to justify her statement to Imogen right now. But Imogen hadn’t finished.
‘I’m not a hypocrite, Laura, and I detested your husband with a vengeance. There’s more to this ‘not having the faintest clue’ than meets the eye, and I need to know what it is. I promise you, I won’t give up until you’ve told me. I’m not here as your enemy, Laura. I’m here as your friend.’
Having poked the fire to death, Laura played for time whilst she added more logs, arranging each one with unnecessary care. She knew that Imogen deserved an explanation. She had lied to her, or at least she had never told her the whole truth. But they had gone years without seeing or speaking to each other and too much had happened. Too much to explain in a single evening.
‘I’m honestly not in any fit state to tell you, Imo. I know nowadays we’re all encouraged to bare our souls at the drop of a hat, but I don’t entirely subscribe to that theory. When I was in the home I saw enough instances of people regurgitating the same problems over and over again, when it would have served them better to push them to the back of their minds and just get on with life. However, you do have a right to know. I will concede that.’
There was a long drawn-out silence. Laura was fighting an internal battle, and it was clear that Imogen wasn’t going to help. Finally, Laura made a decision, and not one she had been intending to make.
‘I wrote you some letters.’
‘What letters? I haven’t had a letter from you in years. What on earth are you talking about?’
‘I didn’t send them.’
Laura paused. She didn’t know if she could do this.
‘The first time I wrote to you was when you and Will started seeing each other, and I was sulking. I wrote to tell you how I felt - and then I read it. I was appalled at my selfishness and I tore the letter up. Since then, there have been times in my life when I’ve desperately wanted to know what you think, and times when I just wanted to clarify my own feelings and resolve any dilemmas, so I wrote you letters. Several of them. It all started when I first met Hugo. I wasn’t allowed to tell anybody about our relationship, so I wanted to capture every moment so that I could relive it with you when the time was right. I hated the fact that I couldn’t share it
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