21 Steps to Happiness by F. G. Gerson Page B

“She’s hungry all the time. And she stays so thin. She’s lucky.”
    Carolina comes back with Irena and Jacky’s frozen yogurt. She dips a spoon in it and sucks it provocatively. Muriel pats her bum.
    â€œWhere does she put it?” Muriel says.
    â€œOne wonders,” I mutter.
    The Fat Breeders must love it here. I’m sure that they are going to write songs about Carolina’s butt.
    Muriel pushes Carolina playfully. “Go take a shower. You smell! I need to talk to Lynn.”
    â€œI don’t smell. It’s her that smells,” Carolina says, pointing her spoon at me. She realizes she might have been a bit too rude so she’s back licking the spoon provocatively to make me like her again.
    Abruptly Muriel takes my hand and drags me to the bedroom.
    She closes the door behind us. She leaves the heavy curtains closed and switches on the bed-top lights.
    The room smells of sweat. I can actually feel the lack of oxygen. I am very uncomfortable.
    Muriel sits on the corner of the huge bed. She pats the space beside her to invite me to sit.
    â€œAre you hungry?”
    Actually I am starving. I am so hungry that I feel light-headed. Add to this the caffeine and the stress, and I am about to burst.
    â€œNo, I am fine.”
    I sit very cautiously beside her. She makes a slight hop to get closer.
    â€œFor what it’s worth, I like you.”
    â€œSo you said.”
    â€œI mean I really like you. I feel…you are like…my big sister.”
    She gets even closer. I don’t believe sisters look at each other that way!
    â€œI think we could work together.” She hops even closer.
    I try to move away slightly, but she puts her hands on my leg. “You, me, Nicolas. We can be a great team. Do you like Nicolas?”
    I can feel the weight of her hand on my knee. It’s sliding up now. I close my eyes. “He idolizes me. It’s very flattering.” She tickles my thigh with the tips of her fingers. “He is so cute, isn’t he?” I hear her say.
    I grab her hand and put it back on her own lap.
    â€œHe is rather cute,” I confirm clumsily.
    â€œPity he is gay.” She puts her hand back on my knee.
    Gay!
    â€œGay?”
    â€œGay! Comme un phoque! ”
    She looks up at me. She caught me by surprise and it excites her.
    â€œOf course he is gay. Everybody is gay.”
    She takes advantage of my stupor and goes for the kiss, only she stops when the door opens. We look like two lovers caught by the husband—or the wife—who knows?
    â€œAh, quelle salope!”
    Carolina drops her yogurt pot and runs to the bed. Before I can explain that it’s not what it looks like, she jumps on Muriel and throws a couple of punches. But instead of fighting back, Muriel laughs her head off.
    Oh, God!
    I stand and step away from the bed.
    â€œI…I need to go back to the hotel.”
    They don’t listen. They just fight on the bed, and now Carolina is laughing, too. They find everything hilarious.
    I walk out of the room. The Fat Breeders are watching them fighting. They are in heaven.
    I walk to the door. As I pass in front of the office I can hear Stephan, the worst writer of his generation, yelling, “Bagels!”
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    I put up the Do Not Disturb sign and lock the door to my room. I don’t ever want to go out again. Here, in the room it’s safe and comfortable. Out there is madness. Crazy Japanese girls, Pierre the banker, frozen-yogurt Carolina and the Fat Breeders.
    And Nicolas!
    He betrayed me!
    Somehow…Okay, so I haven’t quite figured that part out yet.
    But come on. He took me on his scooter. Everyone knows a scooter ride means something. It’s like a secret bond. You cannot seduce a girl with your scooter and then tell her that you are gay.
    Bastard! Oh, I hate him.
    I sit at the desk. I see the Air France flight coupon and my passport. I can leave…whenever. And now would be a good