one sock! ”
“ Did you find the other one? ”
“ Yes, I have both socks, but that ' s not the issue! I ' m not happy about the whole thing . I know I kissed him in the park, but it was just a ' lost in the moment ' type of thing. It didn ' t seem real and I really didn ' t want to do it again or date him... or anything! I guess I made a big mistake kissing him. ”
“ But he ' s so fit. Are you sure? He seems to like you. ”
“ Yeah, I know he looks like a model, and he was sweet that time when he took me to the cof fee shop, but I don ' t want to get involved with him. H e ' s too perfec t... perfect looking that is. I ' m not sure if I really want to date anyone at all . It always starts easy and becomes complicated. Dating is t oo much hassle. It ' s s o much simpler being single. ”
Kay laughed. “ Ok ay Miss No Hassle, maybe you just need some great sex! When ' s the last time you had that? ”
Josie sighed. “ D epress me even more by reminding me! There ' s been no one si nce Alvin . ”
“ But, you dated Alvin over a year ago. I thought you ' d got over him. ”
“ I have, I did , ages ago, but I ' m not ready. Look how stressed I am today and I ' m sure nothing happened! There ' s more to life than sex you know! Have you been overdosing on hormones or something? ”
“ I ' m just enjoying life , my dea r! You may as well rent yours out as a bird ' s nest if you don ' t use it soon! ”
“ Kay! Y ou ' re so crude! ” Josie giggled . “ I ' ve got to go now. I needed a quick pep talk. I ' ve been shaking in my shoes going home . This morning e ven the dog was looking at me li ke I ' d done something wrong . I felt so guilty that I said sorry! ”
“ To the dog?! ”
“ Yes, to the dog! Imagine! How crazy is that? ”
“ You were hungover, ” reminded Kay, trying not to laugh. She pictured Glen telling off Josie in a stern way with no tail wagging, barking ' you n aughty girl! ' “ Anyway, even if something did happen, why f eel guilty? You ' re both single adult s – what ' s the problem? ”
“ The problem is w e live in the same h ouse. It ' s so embarrassing . I want to be able to relax at home with no stress . ”
“ I get ya ' , ” said Kay, realising it wouldn ' t help to make a joke about horizontal positions being relaxing. “ It might be weird for a few days, but then everything will go back to normal, y ou ' ll see. Don ' t worry. I imagine David ' s p retty experienced and p robably does this every week. No big deal to him! ”
“ Thanks! Not sure if the idea of David being a tart makes me feel better or worse, but I know wha t you ' re trying to say. Gotta go now . Have a nice afternoon and see you tonight for the band . ” S he put the mobile into her bag and breathed a huge sigh.
Glen
“ Walkies ! ”
W here can I hide? I go tta hide, a nywhere. Whoosh! I ' m running into the lounge . Where? Where can I go? Ooo ch. Behind the sofa? Too ob vious, h e ' ll check there. Behind t he TV? It ' s too small! Behind t he curtains ? Yes! Great idea. Oh no, I ' m too do ggie big. My bum ' s sticking out!
“ Come on Glen, walkies! ” yells David from the corridor .
He ' s coming in. I can hear the door.
“ Glen! ”
Spotted. He ' s seen my big bum sticking out of the curtain. Damn. “ Voof. ” No , I don ' t wanna go walkies with you. I hate you. I ' d piss in your shoes again, but I know Ben will tell me off ' cos there ' s no-one else to blame. I c an ' t i magine Josie pissing in shoes. Asshole!
“ Come on! ”
Damn, he ' s putting the lead on my collar. I ' m not moving. You ' re going to have to drag me. Go on. Not strong enough , are you? You can dra g and drag, but I ' m not moving, going nowhere. You ' re just going to look stupid. You are stupid anyway, but you ' re too stupid to know how stupid you are, Mr S tupid!
“ If you come for a walk , I ' ll buy you those special dog biscuits you like. The ones Ben doesn ' t buy in case your teeth
“ Did you find the other one? ”
“ Yes, I have both socks, but that ' s not the issue! I ' m not happy about the whole thing . I know I kissed him in the park, but it was just a ' lost in the moment ' type of thing. It didn ' t seem real and I really didn ' t want to do it again or date him... or anything! I guess I made a big mistake kissing him. ”
“ But he ' s so fit. Are you sure? He seems to like you. ”
“ Yeah, I know he looks like a model, and he was sweet that time when he took me to the cof fee shop, but I don ' t want to get involved with him. H e ' s too perfec t... perfect looking that is. I ' m not sure if I really want to date anyone at all . It always starts easy and becomes complicated. Dating is t oo much hassle. It ' s s o much simpler being single. ”
Kay laughed. “ Ok ay Miss No Hassle, maybe you just need some great sex! When ' s the last time you had that? ”
Josie sighed. “ D epress me even more by reminding me! There ' s been no one si nce Alvin . ”
“ But, you dated Alvin over a year ago. I thought you ' d got over him. ”
“ I have, I did , ages ago, but I ' m not ready. Look how stressed I am today and I ' m sure nothing happened! There ' s more to life than sex you know! Have you been overdosing on hormones or something? ”
“ I ' m just enjoying life , my dea r! You may as well rent yours out as a bird ' s nest if you don ' t use it soon! ”
“ Kay! Y ou ' re so crude! ” Josie giggled . “ I ' ve got to go now. I needed a quick pep talk. I ' ve been shaking in my shoes going home . This morning e ven the dog was looking at me li ke I ' d done something wrong . I felt so guilty that I said sorry! ”
“ To the dog?! ”
“ Yes, to the dog! Imagine! How crazy is that? ”
“ You were hungover, ” reminded Kay, trying not to laugh. She pictured Glen telling off Josie in a stern way with no tail wagging, barking ' you n aughty girl! ' “ Anyway, even if something did happen, why f eel guilty? You ' re both single adult s – what ' s the problem? ”
“ The problem is w e live in the same h ouse. It ' s so embarrassing . I want to be able to relax at home with no stress . ”
“ I get ya ' , ” said Kay, realising it wouldn ' t help to make a joke about horizontal positions being relaxing. “ It might be weird for a few days, but then everything will go back to normal, y ou ' ll see. Don ' t worry. I imagine David ' s p retty experienced and p robably does this every week. No big deal to him! ”
“ Thanks! Not sure if the idea of David being a tart makes me feel better or worse, but I know wha t you ' re trying to say. Gotta go now . Have a nice afternoon and see you tonight for the band . ” S he put the mobile into her bag and breathed a huge sigh.
Glen
“ Walkies ! ”
W here can I hide? I go tta hide, a nywhere. Whoosh! I ' m running into the lounge . Where? Where can I go? Ooo ch. Behind the sofa? Too ob vious, h e ' ll check there. Behind t he TV? It ' s too small! Behind t he curtains ? Yes! Great idea. Oh no, I ' m too do ggie big. My bum ' s sticking out!
“ Come on Glen, walkies! ” yells David from the corridor .
He ' s coming in. I can hear the door.
“ Glen! ”
Spotted. He ' s seen my big bum sticking out of the curtain. Damn. “ Voof. ” No , I don ' t wanna go walkies with you. I hate you. I ' d piss in your shoes again, but I know Ben will tell me off ' cos there ' s no-one else to blame. I c an ' t i magine Josie pissing in shoes. Asshole!
“ Come on! ”
Damn, he ' s putting the lead on my collar. I ' m not moving. You ' re going to have to drag me. Go on. Not strong enough , are you? You can dra g and drag, but I ' m not moving, going nowhere. You ' re just going to look stupid. You are stupid anyway, but you ' re too stupid to know how stupid you are, Mr S tupid!
“ If you come for a walk , I ' ll buy you those special dog biscuits you like. The ones Ben doesn ' t buy in case your teeth
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