wouldn’t be the poster boy for it.
“What?” he said, snapping his towel into my arm. “Quit it. Just quit it right now! Anyway, I do recall you mentioning something about wanting to get up to the mountain this season.”
Sometimes the size of my mouth and my inability to keep it shut was only rivaled by David.
“Didn’t you say you wanted to reclaim it or something?”
I hadn’t been back on a snowboard since the accident. It had even been longer since I had been skiing. I knew I had my balance back, knew that I probably could do it again now, but whenever I gave it any serious thought, I felt my calves grow weak.
Even after everything I had been through, it scared me. Still. Maybe it was the simple fact that being up on the mountain would be forever linked in my mind with the accident and Jesse’s death. But I knew it was wrong to live like that. After Clyde, I promised myself that I would head back up there. That I would take back the things I could take back. Little victories.
“So, you’re going to have your first lesson and then ski down the mountain with me?”
David laughed.
“No, silly. I’ll be your cheerleader as you come down the slopes. That’s what you call them, right? I’m using the right lingo?”
“Cheerleader?”
No, slopes.”
I was playing with him.
“Yeah, ‘slopes’ is good,” I said.
“Well, isn’t it like riding a bike? And other things?”
“I suppose.”
I sensed he wasn’t going to be talked out of it. And I reckoned I should be there to minimize the damage and pick up the pieces if it came to that.
“Okay, but let’s wait until after your audition,” I said. “The day after you get back or the day after that.”
“Yay, perfect, Abby Craig!” he said, throwing his arms around me. “You’re the best!”
CHAPTER 19
The wind was strong, blowing through the pines on the sides of the track. I shivered for the first couple of laps before shaking off the cold. A mass of gray and white clouds sped across the sky above me. Snow was in the forecast again, but I had started to lose faith. Snow had started to feel like Santa Claus. Like it would never come.
I slowly started picking up my speed with each lap. I hoped I could get to that place where my mind turned off. But there was no guarantee. In any case, there was something about strenuous exercise that made everything seem better. And I often came away with a new perspective on things and, sometimes, a solution to a problem.
Thoughts of the ghost came up, but I didn’t fight. I just went with it, keeping my emotions out of the picture. My mind replayed the images while my legs churned around the track. The snowy alley. The body. The blood.
I had done a more thorough internet search but had again come up with nothing. Kate hadn’t turned up anything useful on her end either. There was no record of a body being found anywhere near Tin Pan Alley in the last 30 years.
Maybe I was wrong about the location of the alley. Maybe it was a different alley in a different town. I didn’t think so. Kate was going to expand her search anyway.
I had seen the ghost twice now in real life and several times in visions. But I wasn’t making any progress.
It started raining. I thought about how this storm would eventually make its way to Montana. I thought about Ty.
I wasn’t making any progress there either.
And there was nothing I could think of to do about it. I loved Ty and had told him so. I felt that deep down in his heart he believed that. But he had heard me say those words, and I couldn’t take them back. It wouldn’t be right. It wouldn’t be the truth. I knew now that I would never stop loving Jesse. It was just part of who I was, just like seeing ghosts was part of who I was.
I was going around in circles. I had reached the same conclusion before. Ty had a lot on his plate and I couldn’t blame him for needing time. Still I wished I could turn back time to that summer night, so far away
“What?” he said, snapping his towel into my arm. “Quit it. Just quit it right now! Anyway, I do recall you mentioning something about wanting to get up to the mountain this season.”
Sometimes the size of my mouth and my inability to keep it shut was only rivaled by David.
“Didn’t you say you wanted to reclaim it or something?”
I hadn’t been back on a snowboard since the accident. It had even been longer since I had been skiing. I knew I had my balance back, knew that I probably could do it again now, but whenever I gave it any serious thought, I felt my calves grow weak.
Even after everything I had been through, it scared me. Still. Maybe it was the simple fact that being up on the mountain would be forever linked in my mind with the accident and Jesse’s death. But I knew it was wrong to live like that. After Clyde, I promised myself that I would head back up there. That I would take back the things I could take back. Little victories.
“So, you’re going to have your first lesson and then ski down the mountain with me?”
David laughed.
“No, silly. I’ll be your cheerleader as you come down the slopes. That’s what you call them, right? I’m using the right lingo?”
“Cheerleader?”
No, slopes.”
I was playing with him.
“Yeah, ‘slopes’ is good,” I said.
“Well, isn’t it like riding a bike? And other things?”
“I suppose.”
I sensed he wasn’t going to be talked out of it. And I reckoned I should be there to minimize the damage and pick up the pieces if it came to that.
“Okay, but let’s wait until after your audition,” I said. “The day after you get back or the day after that.”
“Yay, perfect, Abby Craig!” he said, throwing his arms around me. “You’re the best!”
CHAPTER 19
The wind was strong, blowing through the pines on the sides of the track. I shivered for the first couple of laps before shaking off the cold. A mass of gray and white clouds sped across the sky above me. Snow was in the forecast again, but I had started to lose faith. Snow had started to feel like Santa Claus. Like it would never come.
I slowly started picking up my speed with each lap. I hoped I could get to that place where my mind turned off. But there was no guarantee. In any case, there was something about strenuous exercise that made everything seem better. And I often came away with a new perspective on things and, sometimes, a solution to a problem.
Thoughts of the ghost came up, but I didn’t fight. I just went with it, keeping my emotions out of the picture. My mind replayed the images while my legs churned around the track. The snowy alley. The body. The blood.
I had done a more thorough internet search but had again come up with nothing. Kate hadn’t turned up anything useful on her end either. There was no record of a body being found anywhere near Tin Pan Alley in the last 30 years.
Maybe I was wrong about the location of the alley. Maybe it was a different alley in a different town. I didn’t think so. Kate was going to expand her search anyway.
I had seen the ghost twice now in real life and several times in visions. But I wasn’t making any progress.
It started raining. I thought about how this storm would eventually make its way to Montana. I thought about Ty.
I wasn’t making any progress there either.
And there was nothing I could think of to do about it. I loved Ty and had told him so. I felt that deep down in his heart he believed that. But he had heard me say those words, and I couldn’t take them back. It wouldn’t be right. It wouldn’t be the truth. I knew now that I would never stop loving Jesse. It was just part of who I was, just like seeing ghosts was part of who I was.
I was going around in circles. I had reached the same conclusion before. Ty had a lot on his plate and I couldn’t blame him for needing time. Still I wished I could turn back time to that summer night, so far away
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