47 Destinies: Finding Grace by Marlies Schmudlach Perez Page B
Authors: Marlies Schmudlach Perez
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able to move on with my life. Unfortunately, it didn’t work out. Since my last dating disaster, I haven’t been on a date in over five months,” Grace responded, astonished by her own honesty.
Todd was taken aback. He wasn’t used to someone being so candid about their feelings. Most people would hide anything perceived as a weakness. Grace took it head on and accepted herself. It was a remarkable characteristic which few possessed.
He took a moment to analyze Grace. Anyone who looked at her would agree that her surface beauty was remarkable, but what interested Todd was the woman hidden within; that woman was full of warmth, love and passion. He wondered how to reach that side of her.
The walls she built around herself seemed insurmountable. Todd wasn’t even sure he was ready to venture out into the world of actively living again, but there was something about Grace that kept moving him toward her. It was as if he was being pushed forward by some invisible force.
“The last couple of years have been rough on you. I’m not sure what is worse in life: losing someone who loved you or being left by someone you loved,” Todd said, deciding to match Grace’s honesty with his own.
Grace turned to look Todd straight in the eyes. The sadness that she noticed at their first meeting was still there. “What happened to your marriage?”
Todd inhaled deeply and let it out slowly. He brushed his hand through his hair before answering Grace’s question. “Some say that it takes two to make a marriage work and two for it to fall apart. I have been trying for years to figure out where I went wrong with my ex-wife, Melissa. I guess one of my mistakes was falling in love with the wrong person. I really loved her. I gave her my full heart and she still left me. She said I wasn’t enough for her. What does that even mean? I gave her all of myself. I showered her with attention, material objects and an abundance of love. I didn’t want her to go. I tried everything to get her to stay. I suggested marriage counseling. My pastor was willing to meet with us, but Melissa would have none of it.” Todd paused for a minute.
“She just kept repeating that I wasn’t enough for her. She not once even said she was sorry. She just left one night and never came back,” Todd said, staring the entire time out at the water. All the hurt and pain flowed out of him. It took everything within him to keep his emotions in check. Why did he just tell Grace his deepest feelings?
“I’m really sorry, Todd. I understand what it is like to experience loss. Even though I know that Derek loved me, where is he now? Where is he when the kids are sick and I am up all night with them? Where is he when I am all alone in the evenings? Where is he on all the special occasions and holidays? I built my entire life around him and now I am all alone. I don’t think anyone knows how much they love someone until they are no longer there to love,” Grace confessed, as her eyes were moist.
“So I allowed everyone to talk me into dating again. I dated several different men and none of them were even respectful enough for me to consider another date. I have given up completely on men. From now on, I am just going to focus on my kids. They are all I have left.”
Neither spoke for quite some time. Both lost in their own separate pain, yet somehow connected by it. While the pain was present, something else was also there, a mutual understanding. What had been missing in both of their lives was someone who understood what each had experienced. Neither Grace nor Todd wanted to break the special bond of peace which had been created by this realization. Peace had been an emotion which eluded both of them for years. To feel its presence was soothing.
While standing together, the sun began its majestic decent into the ocean. It was far lovelier than Grace had
Todd was taken aback. He wasn’t used to someone being so candid about their feelings. Most people would hide anything perceived as a weakness. Grace took it head on and accepted herself. It was a remarkable characteristic which few possessed.
He took a moment to analyze Grace. Anyone who looked at her would agree that her surface beauty was remarkable, but what interested Todd was the woman hidden within; that woman was full of warmth, love and passion. He wondered how to reach that side of her.
The walls she built around herself seemed insurmountable. Todd wasn’t even sure he was ready to venture out into the world of actively living again, but there was something about Grace that kept moving him toward her. It was as if he was being pushed forward by some invisible force.
“The last couple of years have been rough on you. I’m not sure what is worse in life: losing someone who loved you or being left by someone you loved,” Todd said, deciding to match Grace’s honesty with his own.
Grace turned to look Todd straight in the eyes. The sadness that she noticed at their first meeting was still there. “What happened to your marriage?”
Todd inhaled deeply and let it out slowly. He brushed his hand through his hair before answering Grace’s question. “Some say that it takes two to make a marriage work and two for it to fall apart. I have been trying for years to figure out where I went wrong with my ex-wife, Melissa. I guess one of my mistakes was falling in love with the wrong person. I really loved her. I gave her my full heart and she still left me. She said I wasn’t enough for her. What does that even mean? I gave her all of myself. I showered her with attention, material objects and an abundance of love. I didn’t want her to go. I tried everything to get her to stay. I suggested marriage counseling. My pastor was willing to meet with us, but Melissa would have none of it.” Todd paused for a minute.
“She just kept repeating that I wasn’t enough for her. She not once even said she was sorry. She just left one night and never came back,” Todd said, staring the entire time out at the water. All the hurt and pain flowed out of him. It took everything within him to keep his emotions in check. Why did he just tell Grace his deepest feelings?
“I’m really sorry, Todd. I understand what it is like to experience loss. Even though I know that Derek loved me, where is he now? Where is he when the kids are sick and I am up all night with them? Where is he when I am all alone in the evenings? Where is he on all the special occasions and holidays? I built my entire life around him and now I am all alone. I don’t think anyone knows how much they love someone until they are no longer there to love,” Grace confessed, as her eyes were moist.
“So I allowed everyone to talk me into dating again. I dated several different men and none of them were even respectful enough for me to consider another date. I have given up completely on men. From now on, I am just going to focus on my kids. They are all I have left.”
Neither spoke for quite some time. Both lost in their own separate pain, yet somehow connected by it. While the pain was present, something else was also there, a mutual understanding. What had been missing in both of their lives was someone who understood what each had experienced. Neither Grace nor Todd wanted to break the special bond of peace which had been created by this realization. Peace had been an emotion which eluded both of them for years. To feel its presence was soothing.
While standing together, the sun began its majestic decent into the ocean. It was far lovelier than Grace had
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