A Beautiful Sin by A. M. Hargrove, Terri E. Laine Page A

already five o’clock. That meant the lead altar server would arrive soon. It was time to stick my head in and introduce myself. When I did, I was surprised, which I shouldn’t have been, to see the server was a girl. She gave me a toothy grin glowing in neon braces. I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding and grinned back.
    “I’m Father Canaan, the new priest.” I stuck my hand out.
    “I’m Shelby. I’m the lead server today, so I hope I don’t screw things up for you, Father.” She giggled.
    Her joy reminded me of how I’d felt my first time being an altar server. My smile slipped as I remembered how all of that enthusiasm had been stolen from me by one act. I managed to work the curve back to my lips before I spoke as Shelby didn’t deserve the shadows that still lived in my heart.
    “I’m sure you’ll do great. I have to admit, I’m just a little nervous. You’ll have to help me out.” She nodded. “If you ensure I have the water, wine, and communion wafers when I need them, then hopefully I won’t mess up.”
    I gave her a conspiratorial smile.
    “What about the bells?”
    “See? You’re already a winner. We can’t forget to ring the bells during the consecration. And I know you won’t,” I said with a wink.
    “You know, Father, you’re young for a priest. I thought you had to be old to be one.”
    I laughed at her frankness. “No, not all of us are ready for the nursing home.”
    “That’s good. Everyone will be happy to see you, then.”
    “Oh? Why’s that?”
    “‘Cuz Father O’Brien was a little like Kanye West. You know, never liked to have any fun. Always grumpy like. Never smiling. You look like you’re more fun. You actually laugh.”
    Youth and ignorance were bliss. And I was glad I actually knew who Kanye was. “I hope so. At least I think I like to have fun.”
    “Cool. Well, I’ll see you around the narthex.”
    My raised brows let her know I hadn’t any idea what on earth she was talking about.
    “You know, right before Mass?”
    “Oh! Gotcha! And, Shelby. I’m counting on you to help me make my first Mass a success.”
    It was time to get dressed. Most people, even Catholics, didn’t realize the ritual involved in donning the vestments. But I loved this part or so I had until I opened the door to the sacristy. I held my breath and waited for the anxiety to pass. I pushed through it because the garments awaited me and I didn’t have much time.
    I walked straight to the bathroom sink and while I washed my hands I prayed out loud. “Give virtue to my hands, O Lord, that being cleansed from all stain I might serve you with purity of mind and body.”
    Once my hands were cleansed, I placed the alb—the long white robe—over my head, and let it fall to my feet. Saying the required prayers, I continued to place each article of clothing carefully and reverently on my body. The stole—a long slender decorated band of cloth—came next. It was a symbol of the Yoke of Christ and was always adorned with a cross. I wrapped the cincture—a rope-like belt—around my waist, tying it tightly over the stole, and I said the prayer, “Gird me, O Lord, with the girdle of purity, and extinguish in me all evil desires, that the virtue of chastity may abide in me.” This was the symbol of chastity. And last came the chasuble—the colorful poncho-like outer garment that can be ornate in some churches. Holy Cross’s were beautiful but not very fancy, which I liked. This symbolized charity and also the Yoke of Christ.
    I was ready to celebrate my first Mass as associate pastor at Holy Cross. Leaving the sacristy, I joined the altar servers in the narthex, chuckling to myself as I remembered what Shelby had said.
    “Everyone ready?” I asked.
    “Yes, Father.”
    “Lead the way then.” The first server walked into the aisle, cueing the music, which was modern Christian music for this contemporary Mass. I started singing along, as I knew these songs from the