A Bitch In Time (Marina: Part One: Naughty Nookie Series) by Serena Akeroyd Page A

out, like a feast, just for me.
    I hear him fumble about with
the bedside table, then the faint click before the lights blare on.  The
pair of us blink at the brightness, then, as our eyes focus, we shoot dopey
smiles at each other.  Mine is a mirror reflection of his and I reach for
his left hand, tightening my fingers about his. 
    “Hi.”  My whispered
greeting has those gorgeous green eyes of his softening and he knots our
fingers together.  “It’s good to see you.”  The inane comment in no
way describes how relieved I am he’s here.
    I’ve never felt this way
before, but then, I guess I’ve never felt insecure about any part of my
life.  That sounds mega arrogant and I’m only just starting to realize how
intolerable I must have been all these years.  So sure of myself, of my
actions.  So certain I knew what was best.  Yet now, I’m in the
shit.  My arrogance didn’t protect me, didn’t keep me from danger. 
    I guess it’s pathetic to want
to rely on a man for security.  It’s so not the way I was taught.  At
school, on the commune, we were taught everything from the theory of relativity
to self-defense.  I can shoot a rifle, but I’m a crack shot with my
Granddaddy’s old service revolver.  I can actually speak Russian!  So
if the bastards had come after me, I could have bored them to death while
explaining E = MC² in russkij jazyk a.k.a their mother tongue, while
making them spew in the aftermath of a Butterfly Kick to the gut and clutching
their hearts after a perfectly aimed shot to the chest!  But come after my
friends?  People who are like family to me?  I’m screwed and feel
totally useless.
    His top lip quirks up. 
“I thought I’d let you rest.  I got in a few hours ago and you were asleep
—in the middle of the afternoon!  So you must have needed the down time.”
    “You’ve no idea.”
    He frowns at me.  His
eyes literally glow with his concern and despite myself, I’m really
touched.  I don’t know why.  He should be concerned.  If
he came to me with a problem, I would be.  But still, to see that
someone gives a damn, a guy like Nate too, it just makes me feel warm and cozy
inside.  And I’m not a warm and cozy kind of girl!
    “What’s wrong?”
    I wave a hand, trying to seem
blasé, when in truth I’m really concerned.  “It doesn’t matter.”
    It does , but this first
night with Nate is always special and I don’t want to ruin it with news of how
I’ve fucked up my life.
    There’s time tomorrow to tell
him the truth and to ask him advice.
    I just want to be with the man
and to enjoy him.
    “Of course it matters. 
Tell me.”
    I rock my hips, enticing
myself more than him, if truth be told.  The crotch of my short shorts has
buried itself between my pussy lips and the slight friction against my clit has
tingles rushing up and down my spine.
    “Don’t worry about it.”
    “Hey!”  His voice is
almost a bark.  “What matters to you, matters to me.”
    I don’t want to think what
those words do to me.  How important they are.
    At this moment, with my life
in shambles, I can’t think.  I just need him.  I grab his hand and
shove it between my legs, but he stops me, his fingers tightening about my
own.  This time, his voice is definitely a bark.  “Stop it. 
Talk to me, I’m not a fuck doll.”
    The bitch in me could laugh
aloud at that comment.  But that’s only because he’s denying me what I
want.  His gaze is knife-sharp and he cuts into me a little, forcing me to
be serious. 
    “I don’t want you to feel that
way,” I mumble, feeling a little ashamed.
    “Well, then.  Talk to
me.  We’re more than just fuck buddies, Marina.  I care about you.”
    For a moment, I’m stunned by
his honesty.  In truth, it staggers me.  I can do no less than offer
the same to him.  Even though I hadn’t meant to.  But those four
words have changed things.  Unexpected, granted.  But they have.
    Swallowing back my nerves,