seeped through her gown. I want to let this anger go, I want you to make me your wife in every way, I want to give you pleasure, but I feel so filled with guilt, she thought. She did not want to make a scene, but she had to put some distance between them before she embarrassed herself. She stopped dancing and started stepping back from him. She attempted a smile. “Excuse me.” She sought out a refreshment.
Audra watched as Alfie stepped in to dance with the new bride once again. Once the dancing ended, and everyone returned to the refreshments and conversation, Eva took Audra’s arm, “let’s go enjoy the garden.”
They had walked arm in arm in silence for a few moments before Eva spoke. “All is not well between you, and Alfie?”
“No, it’s torment actually,” Audra said as a single tear escaped.
Eva continued her line of questioning, nonetheless. “Is this distress due to Dr. Shirley?”
“After you, and I spoke; I realized if I caused Robert to suffer by breaking off our engagement, I would never be able to forgive myself. I would then be unable to be the wife Alfie deserved.”
Eva nodded her head, and urged her to continue.
“I went to Lockwood Farm to explain my decision to Alfie. Instead, I participated in my own ruin. He saw my brother had arrived; he initiated the intimacy, but I enthusiastically took part.”
“It was not the purist of actions on Alfie’s part, I admit, Audra. Although, I believe he was fighting for your love, and in his desperation he took the path presented. Only you can decide if the love the two of you have for one another is important enough to forgive the action he took. Dr. Shirley must have thought it was, to have encouraged Alfie; however, if you are unable to overcome your anger, or your own guilt, you will have to make Alfie see that to continue would be foolish.”
Eva left her to her thoughts.
*
The newlyweds were off to the inn in the village for their wedding night; the remainder of the party had dinner, and dispersed for the evening.
Garrick walked with them to the cottage. Audra retired. Garrick and Alfie returned outside for a smoke.
“We’ve yet to consummate our vows,” Alfie said as he looked out at the starless sky.
“She refused?”
“No, she told me she was unready. I believe she is afraid the moment I touch her that she will not be able to deny me.”
Garrick laughed. “That’s a bit arrogant.”
Alfie was not amused. “What I mean to say, is the passion, and the love I felt from her before her brother entered my study that day was earnest. It was real.”
“I’ve no doubt the woman loves you Alfie, but she is at war with herself. She will be unable to forgive you until she forgives herself.”
Alfie picked up a rock near his foot and threw it. “I am powerless to help her.”
Garrick gripped his shoulder. “She is going to have to fight this battle on her own, be patient, and pray you are on the winning side.”
*
Alfie and Audra planned their return to Lockwood Farm to consist of visiting her family, and staying for the evening. They would carry on the following morning. They had sent word ahead, so Elizabeth was waiting for them by the big tree where Alfie had kissed her. The memory brought her body to life.
Elizabeth’s squeals of joy brought Allan, and her mother outdoors. She stood first, and Allan assisted her from the carriage. “How was your trip?”
“Good.” She was not sure what more to say; it had been good meeting his family.
Her mother hugged her.
“You seem tired, Mother?”
“I am fine my girl.”
“Audra, me, and Allan were going to go on a picnic, would you, and Mr. Lockwood go with us, there is plenty of food?
“I will go if Mother will go.”
Her mother pinched her side. “Audra...”
They walked across the meadow to the shade of an old Wych Elm.
Elizabeth was more interested in them trying to catch her as she ran about the meadow than she was in eating. She eventually had them all
Audra watched as Alfie stepped in to dance with the new bride once again. Once the dancing ended, and everyone returned to the refreshments and conversation, Eva took Audra’s arm, “let’s go enjoy the garden.”
They had walked arm in arm in silence for a few moments before Eva spoke. “All is not well between you, and Alfie?”
“No, it’s torment actually,” Audra said as a single tear escaped.
Eva continued her line of questioning, nonetheless. “Is this distress due to Dr. Shirley?”
“After you, and I spoke; I realized if I caused Robert to suffer by breaking off our engagement, I would never be able to forgive myself. I would then be unable to be the wife Alfie deserved.”
Eva nodded her head, and urged her to continue.
“I went to Lockwood Farm to explain my decision to Alfie. Instead, I participated in my own ruin. He saw my brother had arrived; he initiated the intimacy, but I enthusiastically took part.”
“It was not the purist of actions on Alfie’s part, I admit, Audra. Although, I believe he was fighting for your love, and in his desperation he took the path presented. Only you can decide if the love the two of you have for one another is important enough to forgive the action he took. Dr. Shirley must have thought it was, to have encouraged Alfie; however, if you are unable to overcome your anger, or your own guilt, you will have to make Alfie see that to continue would be foolish.”
Eva left her to her thoughts.
*
The newlyweds were off to the inn in the village for their wedding night; the remainder of the party had dinner, and dispersed for the evening.
Garrick walked with them to the cottage. Audra retired. Garrick and Alfie returned outside for a smoke.
“We’ve yet to consummate our vows,” Alfie said as he looked out at the starless sky.
“She refused?”
“No, she told me she was unready. I believe she is afraid the moment I touch her that she will not be able to deny me.”
Garrick laughed. “That’s a bit arrogant.”
Alfie was not amused. “What I mean to say, is the passion, and the love I felt from her before her brother entered my study that day was earnest. It was real.”
“I’ve no doubt the woman loves you Alfie, but she is at war with herself. She will be unable to forgive you until she forgives herself.”
Alfie picked up a rock near his foot and threw it. “I am powerless to help her.”
Garrick gripped his shoulder. “She is going to have to fight this battle on her own, be patient, and pray you are on the winning side.”
*
Alfie and Audra planned their return to Lockwood Farm to consist of visiting her family, and staying for the evening. They would carry on the following morning. They had sent word ahead, so Elizabeth was waiting for them by the big tree where Alfie had kissed her. The memory brought her body to life.
Elizabeth’s squeals of joy brought Allan, and her mother outdoors. She stood first, and Allan assisted her from the carriage. “How was your trip?”
“Good.” She was not sure what more to say; it had been good meeting his family.
Her mother hugged her.
“You seem tired, Mother?”
“I am fine my girl.”
“Audra, me, and Allan were going to go on a picnic, would you, and Mr. Lockwood go with us, there is plenty of food?
“I will go if Mother will go.”
Her mother pinched her side. “Audra...”
They walked across the meadow to the shade of an old Wych Elm.
Elizabeth was more interested in them trying to catch her as she ran about the meadow than she was in eating. She eventually had them all
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