with. Now I had ruined it. All of it.
I looked back, down the street, at the place where he'd been. Maybe he'd stayed put. I could.... My eyes strained as I squinted and stood on my tip toes. Nope. No cute guy. No green shoes. Not even his stupid chuckling friend. Lost.
That freaking split-second-scared-shitless decision had cost me whatever I was supposed to learn or gain from that vision. My lungs felt tight and I leaned forward, trying to get any amount of air into them. My tote bag swung forward and hit me in the face, a painful reminder I was supposed to be at the class.
I stood up as much as a person who was completely gutless and backbone-less could and walked down the block to the address I had for the studio. At least I could follow that vision, right?
The door was painted a bright orange and the window sported a vinyl sticker of a person's hands pressed together in prayer or Namaste. I yanked the door open and a rush of lavender and cinnamon smelling air shot forward as if kept against its will and needing to escape.
Rainy and Anna stood by a small table with incense burning on it, clad in black pants and cute stretchy tops. Their faces relaxed into smiles as their eyes registered me in all my hot-sweaty-bad-decision-making glory.
"You made it." The statement sounded like an exhale. Rainy stepped forward and linked her arm through mine. "I'll show her the changing room, you lay out some mats for us," she told Anna who waved at me and nodded, moving through a curtain into a large, open, wood-floored room.
Rainy practically dragged me into a small changing room/bathroom and pointed to a cubby where I could put my things. Still smiling, she turned to me. "Do you want me to --" her smile disappeared as she looked closely at my face. "You okay?"
I took a deep breath and shook my head. "Green. Shoe."
I watched Rainy's face brighten with excitement, but I felt none of it. I looked at her and shook my head, then let it fall back as the full weight of what I'd done settled over me like a suffocating sheep-shit-blanket of depression.
6
Rainbow looked like she was about to ask what had happened when a peaceful gong sounded through the studio. Her eyes opened wide as the waves of relaxing sound reverberated through the bathroom.
"Look, if you don't want to -"
I cut her off. "No." I had just run away from the last vision. The purpose of the yoga bag vision had been to get me here, right? I had to do this. "No," I repeated and placed a hand on her shoulder. I was going to do this, dammit. I had just felt the sting of disappointment that came from not following one of my signs, I wasn't about to do it again. I started ripping my clothes off like some crazed stripper, flinging them wherever and squeezing my body into the workout clothes I'd brought.
Rainy started laughing. "You're crazy, Sun." She picked up my clothes as I finished dressing and we shoved my stuff into a cubby. We ran out into the hall giggling, but Rainy put a finger to her lips as we slipped through the curtain and tiptoed into the quiet room.
I spotted Anna sitting cross-legged on a mat in the corner and I followed Rainy as she picked through the room, trying to avoid the ten or so people shoved in there. We plopped down next to Anna; Rainy letting me take the mat in the middle. As I crammed my legs into as much of a crossed position as they'd go, I saw Lizzy open her eyes and wave at me from her spot at the front, facing the class, her yoga bag sitting behind her.
I smiled and closed my eyes, straightened my spine, shimmied down into my butt fat, and placed my hands on my knees. Crap. I'd forgotten how you were supposed to hold your fingers. Yogis had some secret handshake or something, didn't they? Two fingers on each side like a V? Nope, pretty sure that was Spock's thing. I peaked open one eye and tried to look at everyone's fingers. To my right, Anna just held hers open as if waiting for someone to put a cookie in her hand. I wrinkled my
I looked back, down the street, at the place where he'd been. Maybe he'd stayed put. I could.... My eyes strained as I squinted and stood on my tip toes. Nope. No cute guy. No green shoes. Not even his stupid chuckling friend. Lost.
That freaking split-second-scared-shitless decision had cost me whatever I was supposed to learn or gain from that vision. My lungs felt tight and I leaned forward, trying to get any amount of air into them. My tote bag swung forward and hit me in the face, a painful reminder I was supposed to be at the class.
I stood up as much as a person who was completely gutless and backbone-less could and walked down the block to the address I had for the studio. At least I could follow that vision, right?
The door was painted a bright orange and the window sported a vinyl sticker of a person's hands pressed together in prayer or Namaste. I yanked the door open and a rush of lavender and cinnamon smelling air shot forward as if kept against its will and needing to escape.
Rainy and Anna stood by a small table with incense burning on it, clad in black pants and cute stretchy tops. Their faces relaxed into smiles as their eyes registered me in all my hot-sweaty-bad-decision-making glory.
"You made it." The statement sounded like an exhale. Rainy stepped forward and linked her arm through mine. "I'll show her the changing room, you lay out some mats for us," she told Anna who waved at me and nodded, moving through a curtain into a large, open, wood-floored room.
Rainy practically dragged me into a small changing room/bathroom and pointed to a cubby where I could put my things. Still smiling, she turned to me. "Do you want me to --" her smile disappeared as she looked closely at my face. "You okay?"
I took a deep breath and shook my head. "Green. Shoe."
I watched Rainy's face brighten with excitement, but I felt none of it. I looked at her and shook my head, then let it fall back as the full weight of what I'd done settled over me like a suffocating sheep-shit-blanket of depression.
6
Rainbow looked like she was about to ask what had happened when a peaceful gong sounded through the studio. Her eyes opened wide as the waves of relaxing sound reverberated through the bathroom.
"Look, if you don't want to -"
I cut her off. "No." I had just run away from the last vision. The purpose of the yoga bag vision had been to get me here, right? I had to do this. "No," I repeated and placed a hand on her shoulder. I was going to do this, dammit. I had just felt the sting of disappointment that came from not following one of my signs, I wasn't about to do it again. I started ripping my clothes off like some crazed stripper, flinging them wherever and squeezing my body into the workout clothes I'd brought.
Rainy started laughing. "You're crazy, Sun." She picked up my clothes as I finished dressing and we shoved my stuff into a cubby. We ran out into the hall giggling, but Rainy put a finger to her lips as we slipped through the curtain and tiptoed into the quiet room.
I spotted Anna sitting cross-legged on a mat in the corner and I followed Rainy as she picked through the room, trying to avoid the ten or so people shoved in there. We plopped down next to Anna; Rainy letting me take the mat in the middle. As I crammed my legs into as much of a crossed position as they'd go, I saw Lizzy open her eyes and wave at me from her spot at the front, facing the class, her yoga bag sitting behind her.
I smiled and closed my eyes, straightened my spine, shimmied down into my butt fat, and placed my hands on my knees. Crap. I'd forgotten how you were supposed to hold your fingers. Yogis had some secret handshake or something, didn't they? Two fingers on each side like a V? Nope, pretty sure that was Spock's thing. I peaked open one eye and tried to look at everyone's fingers. To my right, Anna just held hers open as if waiting for someone to put a cookie in her hand. I wrinkled my
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