A Christmas to Bear

A Christmas to Bear by Carina Wilder Page A

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Authors: Carina Wilder
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man was so frustrating.
    “Fine, then, I’ll say it,” she said. “I like you. But it’s not that. It’s not a question of ‘like.’ That first day we met, something happened to me. In me. I don’t know what it was. I don’t know how to explain it. You mean something to me. I don’t want to let go of you.”
    “But you have to. So do I.” He stood now, looking down at her. “It’s getting late. I should walk you home.”
    Aria felt a dagger in her heart. This man, who was supposed to be so undisciplined, was so good at simply stating that they were not to be together. It didn’t seem fair. How was it that emotions were eating her up and he seemed fine?
    She rose and they walked in silence for a time, back down the trail towards town.
    “I can’t stand this,” she said finally.
    “What?”
    “This. Whatever it is. You and me. I have feelings for you. I don’t know how; it’s all happened so fast.”
    “You only think you do because I helped you.”
    Aria stopped in her tracks. “How dare you say that?” She felt her eyes tear up and the already dark shape in front of her went blurry.
    “It’s true, isn’t it?”
    “God, no, it’s not true. I’m not some fucking damsel in distress, Lucian. If you hadn’t shown up on the ski hill, I would have found my way down. If you hadn’t shown up on the street…”
    “Then what, Aria? You would have fought off a shifter?”
    “I sure as hell would have tried.”
    “Well, I couldn’t let you. Don’t you see? I need to look after you.”
    “Why?”
    “Because I…”
    “Because you what? What, Lucian? Say it.”
    “I adore you. I don’t know how I can feel this way so fast about someone. I need you. And it scares the hell out of me, Aria.”
    Now the tears flowed freely. Joy and sadness mingled in her heart; in the knowledge that she would probably leave and never see him again. That he seemed to want to expel her from his life in spite of all of it.
    Lucian seemed to understand. He took her in his arms and pulled her gently to his chest. Aria remained quiet, letting only a few tears land on his coat before pulling away. They began to walk again and soon the lights of the main street were visible.
    “I would stay here for you, you know,” she said after a silence.
    “I know you would. But you can’t. You shouldn’t.”
    “Lucian, I’m supposed to fly out on Christmas Day, back to California. If you decide that you want me to stay, you find me at the inn and tell me. The ball is in your court.”
    Lucian remained quiet and Aria avoided looking at him for fear that doing so would make her cry again.
    When they reached the front door of the inn, Lucian stopped.
    “Well, here we are,” he said. He studied her face, which was hard to take. It was as though he was looking for the wounds he’d inflicted in spite of his insistence that he could never hurt her.
    “Here we are,” she replied.
    “You inspire me, Aria.” Lucian’s eyes looked deep into her own, which were more moist than she would have liked. “You make me want to be better in every single way. For that alone you mean the world to me. But you need to return to your home and your family, and forget the broken man you’re leaving here.”
    Aria opened her mouth to protest and shut it again. Finally she said simply, “Good night, Lucian,” and turned away, walking into the building and letting the door shut behind her.
    “Good night, sweet thing.”

----

    The night was difficult. Aria told herself again and again that Lucian had done the right thing, but failed repeatedly to convince herself that all was for the best. How could it be?
    Smile.
    She couldn’t be with a reclusive shifter. Even if she liked him. Even if she loved him. Even if he was the kindest, best man in the world.
    Sleep never really came; instead an internal debate raged and she wondered if it would ever end, if she’d ever be able to walk away and forget this place and the shifter. Somehow, regardless of

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