lowered the snack and turned around only to find another elderly woman looking with curious delight just below his belt. What the hell?
"Brie?"
"Yeah?" She stuck a tiny square of fudge in her mouth.
"What did you say?" He cast glances across the room, finding more than his fair share of attention directed solely at his assets from women over the age of retirement.
"To whom?"
"To them?" He waved toward the room.
"Who's them?" Her face spoke of bewildered puzzlement.
Once again he motioned with his arm. "Them. What did you say to make those old women obsess with my crotch?"
Understanding flashed across her features. "Oh. Well, I overheard Jane and Thelma telling a group of their friends that you were impotent but now take a pill, which seems to get the job done."
His eyebrows shot up to learn his performance abilities were the topic of conversation amongst the geriatric crowd. A feeling of dread cascaded over him. "And?"
"I know better, and their ridiculous remarks were offensive. So I told them the truth." She grinned proudly.
"Which is?" He tilted his head and braced himself for the oncoming onslaught.
"That you're hung like a prize stallion on a stud farm and perform like a champ. I told them you put Annie to shame in size and sheer impressiveness."
"You what?"
Annie, her never-used, oversized vibrator lived in a shoebox under the bed. When he had discovered the hidden toy, he couldn't resist tormenting Brie. Only his plans backfired when the nosey neighbors had shown up at an inopportune time and declared him impotent, thus Brie's need of the gigantic plastic phallus.
She blinked. "Told them you were hung like a horse, and if they didn't believe me, they could see for themselves in a couple of porn flicks."
He groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. From impotent to stud muffin in a few short months. Old ladies trying to get a peek at his endowments frankly creeped him out. Not to mention the poor video store clerk sure to have heart failure when half the town's widows show up at the counter asking for porn videos.
Rye scrubbed at his suddenly aching forehead. "Dare I ask which movies you mentioned?"
Brie looked down at her feet before sheepishly answering. " Vegas Nights and Driving Miss Daisy's Lust ."
"Oh, hell." She didn't. Not the one male star. "You told them I…" His eyes narrowed.
"Was absolutely huge and might carry some interesting tattoo artwork down there."
She did. Tattoo guy. Holy shit.
A short gray-headed lady paused on her way to the buffet table, her gaze fixated on his pelvis. Only once did she glimpse upward before her vision lined up with his family jewels again.
He scowled down at his girlfriend. "Brie…"
Her mouth fell open as she puffed up like an irate chicken. "What? I defended you! Don't all men want their girlfriends to tell others her man is… well-endowed and knows how to use it?"
"Well, yeah. To him. Or perhaps his buddies. But to a flock of gossiping old hens? Never."
She rolled her eyes and puffed out a breath. "I thought you'd like porn star awesome better than impotent hunk."
His mouth opened and closed without a single sound emerging. He grappled with the urge to flip Brie over his lap and paddle her sexy rear.
Brie, more than likely unawares, just announced her great enjoyment of his body and lovemaking to the entire neighborhood. Yeah, he could do much worse than love a woman who possessed no fear in broadcasting her sensual delights and his sexual talents to the world.
Spontaneous laughter bubbled up and overflowed.
Grabbing Brie around the waist, he lifted her off the ground and swung her around in a circle, enjoying her startled squeak and joyful giggles. By the time he set her down, half the attendees were watching with wide smiles of their faces.
Rye wrapped Brie in his embrace and tugged her against his body. "You're such a squirrel."
She grinned. "Cute and cuddly?"
"Something like that." Before she could say more, he meshed his lips over
"Brie?"
"Yeah?" She stuck a tiny square of fudge in her mouth.
"What did you say?" He cast glances across the room, finding more than his fair share of attention directed solely at his assets from women over the age of retirement.
"To whom?"
"To them?" He waved toward the room.
"Who's them?" Her face spoke of bewildered puzzlement.
Once again he motioned with his arm. "Them. What did you say to make those old women obsess with my crotch?"
Understanding flashed across her features. "Oh. Well, I overheard Jane and Thelma telling a group of their friends that you were impotent but now take a pill, which seems to get the job done."
His eyebrows shot up to learn his performance abilities were the topic of conversation amongst the geriatric crowd. A feeling of dread cascaded over him. "And?"
"I know better, and their ridiculous remarks were offensive. So I told them the truth." She grinned proudly.
"Which is?" He tilted his head and braced himself for the oncoming onslaught.
"That you're hung like a prize stallion on a stud farm and perform like a champ. I told them you put Annie to shame in size and sheer impressiveness."
"You what?"
Annie, her never-used, oversized vibrator lived in a shoebox under the bed. When he had discovered the hidden toy, he couldn't resist tormenting Brie. Only his plans backfired when the nosey neighbors had shown up at an inopportune time and declared him impotent, thus Brie's need of the gigantic plastic phallus.
She blinked. "Told them you were hung like a horse, and if they didn't believe me, they could see for themselves in a couple of porn flicks."
He groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. From impotent to stud muffin in a few short months. Old ladies trying to get a peek at his endowments frankly creeped him out. Not to mention the poor video store clerk sure to have heart failure when half the town's widows show up at the counter asking for porn videos.
Rye scrubbed at his suddenly aching forehead. "Dare I ask which movies you mentioned?"
Brie looked down at her feet before sheepishly answering. " Vegas Nights and Driving Miss Daisy's Lust ."
"Oh, hell." She didn't. Not the one male star. "You told them I…" His eyes narrowed.
"Was absolutely huge and might carry some interesting tattoo artwork down there."
She did. Tattoo guy. Holy shit.
A short gray-headed lady paused on her way to the buffet table, her gaze fixated on his pelvis. Only once did she glimpse upward before her vision lined up with his family jewels again.
He scowled down at his girlfriend. "Brie…"
Her mouth fell open as she puffed up like an irate chicken. "What? I defended you! Don't all men want their girlfriends to tell others her man is… well-endowed and knows how to use it?"
"Well, yeah. To him. Or perhaps his buddies. But to a flock of gossiping old hens? Never."
She rolled her eyes and puffed out a breath. "I thought you'd like porn star awesome better than impotent hunk."
His mouth opened and closed without a single sound emerging. He grappled with the urge to flip Brie over his lap and paddle her sexy rear.
Brie, more than likely unawares, just announced her great enjoyment of his body and lovemaking to the entire neighborhood. Yeah, he could do much worse than love a woman who possessed no fear in broadcasting her sensual delights and his sexual talents to the world.
Spontaneous laughter bubbled up and overflowed.
Grabbing Brie around the waist, he lifted her off the ground and swung her around in a circle, enjoying her startled squeak and joyful giggles. By the time he set her down, half the attendees were watching with wide smiles of their faces.
Rye wrapped Brie in his embrace and tugged her against his body. "You're such a squirrel."
She grinned. "Cute and cuddly?"
"Something like that." Before she could say more, he meshed his lips over
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