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Romance,
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Ranch Life - Florida
Mexican wrestler. El Diablo."
"I saw that movie about Mexican wrestlers," one of her boys said, griming. "Nacho Libre. So you were a badass burrito bandido in tights, huh? Like Jack Black?"
I looked his way. Just a look. His grin faded and he stepped back a little, angling behind one of the other asswipes.
"El Diablo," the blonde repeated, laughin'. "The Devil. Funny, I picture the devil wearing nicer jeans. And boots that aren't so old they're cracked at the toes."
Now, if a bodacious blonde like her walked up to me in a bar and smiled, I'd sure buy her a martini and enjoy the view. But this blonde had walked up to me with a chip on her shoulder and her tongue wrapped in barbed wire.
"Aw, now, you're gonna make my mama madder, makin' fun of me this way," I said. I nodded at Miriam. "She's kinda touchy since the army put the steel plate in her head. She just got back from Iraq."
The blonde flung her streaked hair and looked down the aisle where Lily, Mac, Joey and my other hands stood at the community pens. "Are all your employees retarded rejects or are some of them just stupid, like you?"
Lucky for her, I was raised not to hit girls, even the ones who used the "r" word about my people. Thirty-eight years old and the habit of not fighting with girls still stuck. I tipped my hat to her, again. "Tell your daddy I look forward to towing his car again, sometime." I turned my back.
"Don't you turn your tight ass toward me, you loser."
Miriam popped a fresh toothpick in her mouth. "Beat it, hon. He's done tallcil', and I'm done listenin'. You're not exactly the freshest trout in the creek." Miriam sniffed the air dramatically. "Been out of the icebox a little too long."
"Ben," Roy Rogers called from the pens. "Come see. Lily says come and see."
Trouble? I headed that way in a hurry.
"You better have a big dick to go with that big mouth," the blonde called. "You and your fucking, so-called `mother."'
You don't talk like that in front of God-fearing livestock people who've brought their kids with them. People craned their heads and muttered. Some big of boys made a beeline for the blonde's boy pals. The code of the West-or, in this case, the code of North Florida-says a cowboy can't hit a girl. But he can sure whup her boyfriend's ass.
The blonde's pals turned pale and dragged her away. Miriam caught up with me. "Ben, if you had a wife, I wouldn't have to keep beatin' girls away with a big stick."
"Aw, you like screening my girlfriends."
"That one's got eyes like a lizard. Probably suns on a rock when nobody's looking. Ben, don't you know what she is?
"Aw, yeah, but I'll give her the benefit of the doubt."
"She's a barrel racing champion."
I stopped. "Aw."
"I'm not kidd n' . Her daddy isn't just a developer. He bought the old Barkley spread down near Orlando. Named it JTJ Quarter Horse Ranch, Incorporated."
"Naw. J. T. Jackson's daughter is a top barrel racer?"
"You bet your stopwatch she is. Her daddy spent millions on purebred horses for her. Bought that lizard-eyed little whiffle the best barrel horses in the country. Hired the best trainers. She's four-times national and two times world champ. Her name's Tami Jo. Tami Jo Jackson. I've seen her on ESPN and World Sports Network. In a thong bikini. Ben, she ain't human. She's got no cellulite on her ass."
I sighed. "I sure know how to pick a fight with a big dog."
"Dog ain't the operative word for her, Ben. But it's close."
My mood went downhill from that low point. "Ben come see," Dale called, again. "Lily's upset. So's Joey."
I broke into a trot. Lily and Joey were peering through a metal gate into the communal stock pen. Joey was wheezing hard. Lily was so worried her red-gray hair seemed electrified. She was a human Brillo pad. Mac had an arm around her.
"Turn up Joey's oxygen," I told Lula, who nodded. "What's the problem, Lily? Calm down, everybody."
"Look at that poor baby," Lily whispered.
Joey moaned. "The one with the scarred face and the mad
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