rings.”
Nodding, I checked my body language. I was
already doing everything wrong—moving from one foot to the other, leaning
against the lectern, and holding my cards in front of my face. I planted my
feet, stepped back from the lectern (treat it like a hot stove, Mrs. Martin
said), and lowered my index cards to chest level.
Taking a deep breath, I looked down at my
cards. My speech suddenly seemed like the stupidest thing in the world. We
weren’t allowed to write the entire speech out, only the bullet points we
wanted to hit. Mrs. Martin usually gave us a topic to discuss, but this time
she had given us free choice. I chose to write about my favorite animal as if I
were in second grade. Other kids had talked about the ozone layer, the unfair
treatment of minorities by law enforcement, and the war on immigration, but I had
chosen to speak about my favorite animal. It seemed like a good idea the night
before.
I cleared my throat for the thirtieth
time. “If I could be any animal, I would be a bird. To me, birds are the eighth
wonder of the world. I’d be a blue jay specifically—”
“Arden, a little louder,” Mrs. Martin
croaked.
I tried to force myself to look up from my
cards, but the stares from my classmates would make everything worse. Maybe if
I focused on a point on the back wall, that would help.
I glanced up briefly at the wall,
straightened my shoulders, and looked back down at my cards. “If I could be any
animal I would be a blue jay. The main reason I’d like to be a blue jay would
be their ability to fly. Sometimes I wish I could fly. When things get bad or
people make me angry, I could just fly away and leave it all behind.”
Time to look up again, Arden. I forced my
eyes up. Mrs. Martin stared at me intently. Margo Reese laughed behind one of
her hands. Charlie Tate leaned over and whispered to the boy next to him, then
they both looked at me grinning.
Anger rose in my chest. I couldn’t win. No
matter what I did or said, they would find a reason to laugh. I never laughed
at them no matter how lame or boring their speeches were. No matter what, I
watched them respectfully and at least pretended to be interested. Setting my
cards down on the lectern, I forgot about my bullet points. “I wish I could fly
away right now. I’d fly away from this stupid school and all you idiots who
treat people like crap for no reason!”
Mrs. Martin sat up straighter.
“I’d fly to another country and start all
over. Maybe Europe. I’m sure I’d meet better people there, because you guys
suck!” By that time, I was yelling, but I didn’t care. I’d made my point. I
needed them to know how awful they were. Half the class stared at me wide eyed
while the other half looked as if they couldn’t decide whether to laugh or be
offended. Mary-Kate shook her head. She was probably the only person in the
room my speech didn’t apply to, but I was sure she felt just as insulted.
Mrs. Martin marched to the front of the
room. “That’s enough, Arden. Thank you.”
I couldn’t ignore the intense looks of
hatred as I made my way back to my seat. Charlie Tate, who sat directly in
front of me, swiveled in his chair to face me. “Damn, Dust. Angry much?”
“Shut up!” I shouted. He flinched and
turned right back around.
Everyone stared at me including Mrs.
Martin. “Ms. Moss, I’m going to ask you to control yourself, or do you need to
be excused?”
I shook my head. Settle down, Arden.
Mrs. Martin called for the next student to
go up and probably had written a big fat F next to my name. Mom was going to be
so proud.
Home was better than school. Thursday
nights we always ordered pizza because Mom and Dad went to a couples’ book club
meeting at a friend’s house. That left me in charge of Paige and Quinn.
Mom rattled off a few last-minute
instructions as my sisters and I filled our paper plates with pizza slices. No
one wanted to do dishes on Thursday nights, so we used paper and
Nodding, I checked my body language. I was
already doing everything wrong—moving from one foot to the other, leaning
against the lectern, and holding my cards in front of my face. I planted my
feet, stepped back from the lectern (treat it like a hot stove, Mrs. Martin
said), and lowered my index cards to chest level.
Taking a deep breath, I looked down at my
cards. My speech suddenly seemed like the stupidest thing in the world. We
weren’t allowed to write the entire speech out, only the bullet points we
wanted to hit. Mrs. Martin usually gave us a topic to discuss, but this time
she had given us free choice. I chose to write about my favorite animal as if I
were in second grade. Other kids had talked about the ozone layer, the unfair
treatment of minorities by law enforcement, and the war on immigration, but I had
chosen to speak about my favorite animal. It seemed like a good idea the night
before.
I cleared my throat for the thirtieth
time. “If I could be any animal, I would be a bird. To me, birds are the eighth
wonder of the world. I’d be a blue jay specifically—”
“Arden, a little louder,” Mrs. Martin
croaked.
I tried to force myself to look up from my
cards, but the stares from my classmates would make everything worse. Maybe if
I focused on a point on the back wall, that would help.
I glanced up briefly at the wall,
straightened my shoulders, and looked back down at my cards. “If I could be any
animal I would be a blue jay. The main reason I’d like to be a blue jay would
be their ability to fly. Sometimes I wish I could fly. When things get bad or
people make me angry, I could just fly away and leave it all behind.”
Time to look up again, Arden. I forced my
eyes up. Mrs. Martin stared at me intently. Margo Reese laughed behind one of
her hands. Charlie Tate leaned over and whispered to the boy next to him, then
they both looked at me grinning.
Anger rose in my chest. I couldn’t win. No
matter what I did or said, they would find a reason to laugh. I never laughed
at them no matter how lame or boring their speeches were. No matter what, I
watched them respectfully and at least pretended to be interested. Setting my
cards down on the lectern, I forgot about my bullet points. “I wish I could fly
away right now. I’d fly away from this stupid school and all you idiots who
treat people like crap for no reason!”
Mrs. Martin sat up straighter.
“I’d fly to another country and start all
over. Maybe Europe. I’m sure I’d meet better people there, because you guys
suck!” By that time, I was yelling, but I didn’t care. I’d made my point. I
needed them to know how awful they were. Half the class stared at me wide eyed
while the other half looked as if they couldn’t decide whether to laugh or be
offended. Mary-Kate shook her head. She was probably the only person in the
room my speech didn’t apply to, but I was sure she felt just as insulted.
Mrs. Martin marched to the front of the
room. “That’s enough, Arden. Thank you.”
I couldn’t ignore the intense looks of
hatred as I made my way back to my seat. Charlie Tate, who sat directly in
front of me, swiveled in his chair to face me. “Damn, Dust. Angry much?”
“Shut up!” I shouted. He flinched and
turned right back around.
Everyone stared at me including Mrs.
Martin. “Ms. Moss, I’m going to ask you to control yourself, or do you need to
be excused?”
I shook my head. Settle down, Arden.
Mrs. Martin called for the next student to
go up and probably had written a big fat F next to my name. Mom was going to be
so proud.
Home was better than school. Thursday
nights we always ordered pizza because Mom and Dad went to a couples’ book club
meeting at a friend’s house. That left me in charge of Paige and Quinn.
Mom rattled off a few last-minute
instructions as my sisters and I filled our paper plates with pizza slices. No
one wanted to do dishes on Thursday nights, so we used paper and
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