lives.” She paused and felt the sting of tears. “And don’t worry, I don’t have any hopes about him.”
“That’s good. Jim Rudolph wouldn’t like it if you took up with ’nother man.”
A pit formed in Jade’s stomach. Why must her father persist with talk about Jim? Hadn’t she made herself clear?
“Daddy, I don’t love Jim. I don’t even like him. He asked me to marry him, and I turned him down, remember?”
Her father scratched his armpit and stared at a wrestling match on TV. “You’re an idiot, Jade.”
Her heart deflated like a two-week-old balloon. “I am not an idiot.” There was no point carrying on a conversation with her father when he had been drinking, but sometimes Jade couldn’t help herself. Most nights, these were the only conversations they had.
He faced her again and raised his voice another notch. “You’re an idiot! Jim comes from good, hard-workin’ family.He’s gonna be a teacher, and you turned him down. I said it before and I’ll say it again—” he took another swig and finished the bottle—“Jim Rudolph’s the bes’ thing ever happened to you, Jade.” He tried to focus on her, but his head bobbed unsteadily, and he finally gave up and turned back to the match. “You shoulda married him. No one else’ll ever want you.”
Jade felt her shoulders slump. Every time she let herself get sucked into a discussion like this one she wondered the same thing: Was it the beer, or did her father really hate her?
He belched again. “Get me ’nother beer, will ya?”
Jade stared at her father. Most of the time she did as he asked, but this time he could get it himself. Maybe break another bottle in the process. She needed fresh air before she let go and threw something at him.
She exhaled through tightly clenched teeth and spun around. She was already outside when she heard him stumbling toward the kitchen. Apparently he’d forgotten about her. Jade breathed a heavy sigh. The air was warm and damp, hovering like a blanket against Jade’s skin.
The covered porch was the best part of the house. It ran along the entire front and was deep enough to find shelter even when wind drove the Northwest rain sideways. Jade had read hundreds of books on this porch, spent years here dreaming about a different life.
When she was a little girl, she had considered running away, moving in with somebody else’s family where there would be a mom and a dad and dinner hours and laughter. But over time she had learned to fend for herself, avoiding her father when he was drinking and escaping to imaginary worlds on the front porch.
Jade wandered across the creaking boards. The porch wascluttered, of course, like everything else about their house. Jade would have loved to clean it up, to throw out the junk. But her father had collected most of it from his years as a mechanic. Parts that could be fixed and sold if he ever found the time, engines he could repair and use again if only he’d had a sober evening in which to work.
She spotted a cardboard box marked Starters and Ignition Switches. It had been there for at least five years, and Jade had used it as a chair so often it felt almost normal to do so. She pushed it out so she could see the dusky sky. Her heart felt bruised from her father’s comments, and Jade thought about the irony. Men were easily struck by her looks, but the most important part, the place where her heart and soul lived, was battered beyond recognition. Her father was right. Why would anyone else want her?
Especially someone like Tanner Eastman.
Jade sighed and stared into the dimly lit sky. It was nine and night would settle within the hour. Maybe she should throw on a pair of sweats and jog. Her mind was racing far too quickly to think about sleep. Jade felt as if she’d drifted downstream in time and was being sucked into a whirlpool of memories. Memories she’d almost forgotten.
She smiled. Who would have thought after all this time.? What if she
“That’s good. Jim Rudolph wouldn’t like it if you took up with ’nother man.”
A pit formed in Jade’s stomach. Why must her father persist with talk about Jim? Hadn’t she made herself clear?
“Daddy, I don’t love Jim. I don’t even like him. He asked me to marry him, and I turned him down, remember?”
Her father scratched his armpit and stared at a wrestling match on TV. “You’re an idiot, Jade.”
Her heart deflated like a two-week-old balloon. “I am not an idiot.” There was no point carrying on a conversation with her father when he had been drinking, but sometimes Jade couldn’t help herself. Most nights, these were the only conversations they had.
He faced her again and raised his voice another notch. “You’re an idiot! Jim comes from good, hard-workin’ family.He’s gonna be a teacher, and you turned him down. I said it before and I’ll say it again—” he took another swig and finished the bottle—“Jim Rudolph’s the bes’ thing ever happened to you, Jade.” He tried to focus on her, but his head bobbed unsteadily, and he finally gave up and turned back to the match. “You shoulda married him. No one else’ll ever want you.”
Jade felt her shoulders slump. Every time she let herself get sucked into a discussion like this one she wondered the same thing: Was it the beer, or did her father really hate her?
He belched again. “Get me ’nother beer, will ya?”
Jade stared at her father. Most of the time she did as he asked, but this time he could get it himself. Maybe break another bottle in the process. She needed fresh air before she let go and threw something at him.
She exhaled through tightly clenched teeth and spun around. She was already outside when she heard him stumbling toward the kitchen. Apparently he’d forgotten about her. Jade breathed a heavy sigh. The air was warm and damp, hovering like a blanket against Jade’s skin.
The covered porch was the best part of the house. It ran along the entire front and was deep enough to find shelter even when wind drove the Northwest rain sideways. Jade had read hundreds of books on this porch, spent years here dreaming about a different life.
When she was a little girl, she had considered running away, moving in with somebody else’s family where there would be a mom and a dad and dinner hours and laughter. But over time she had learned to fend for herself, avoiding her father when he was drinking and escaping to imaginary worlds on the front porch.
Jade wandered across the creaking boards. The porch wascluttered, of course, like everything else about their house. Jade would have loved to clean it up, to throw out the junk. But her father had collected most of it from his years as a mechanic. Parts that could be fixed and sold if he ever found the time, engines he could repair and use again if only he’d had a sober evening in which to work.
She spotted a cardboard box marked Starters and Ignition Switches. It had been there for at least five years, and Jade had used it as a chair so often it felt almost normal to do so. She pushed it out so she could see the dusky sky. Her heart felt bruised from her father’s comments, and Jade thought about the irony. Men were easily struck by her looks, but the most important part, the place where her heart and soul lived, was battered beyond recognition. Her father was right. Why would anyone else want her?
Especially someone like Tanner Eastman.
Jade sighed and stared into the dimly lit sky. It was nine and night would settle within the hour. Maybe she should throw on a pair of sweats and jog. Her mind was racing far too quickly to think about sleep. Jade felt as if she’d drifted downstream in time and was being sucked into a whirlpool of memories. Memories she’d almost forgotten.
She smiled. Who would have thought after all this time.? What if she
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