A Portal to Leya by Elizabeth Brown Page B

Of course she asked, who, and I had to tell her,
Trudy Markus. And then she looked at me mistrustfully and I got mad because
she’s a hypocrite and it's not fair that anyone should be judged based on
appearances. So I told her to take her own advice for once, not to judge a book
by its cover, and she said fine, just be careful. And that was that. I love it
when Dorrie is resigned. Honestly, I don't think I could be so easy going and
that's why I might never have kids. I like being right too much. So I ran
outside and had to catch up with Trudy. I shouted to her but she kept walking.
But after the second shout, she stopped and turned.
    “What do you want?” she asked in a not-you-again
tone.
    “I have a question,” I said. I wasn’t caving.
    “What else is new?”
    “What do you mean?”
    “Forget it! What is your question?
    “Do you know Neal is going to be convicted?” I got
right to the point.
    “Highly doubtful,” she said.
    “Do you know he has no
alibi and he's the prime suspect?”
    “He has a good lawyer.
He'll get off,” she insisted.
    “Get off?”
    “Be acquitted. He'll be
acquitted, found not guilty? In fact, it probably won't go to trial.
    “I think it could. Then what will you do?”
    “I talked to Neal and he's not concerned. So, I’m
not either.” She was so damn smug. But I liked it.
    “That's crazy! How could he not be concerned? Does
he want to go to prison? Or maybe he really did it and feels guilty. That's it.
He must be guilty! I think you’re lying.” I was shaking at this point.
    “You're a complete dolt. Of course he didn't murder
anyone. Neal is definitely not a murderer.”
    “How do you know?” I was shaking but excited from
the intensity.
    “I know, believe me. He was with me like I said.”
    “Why don’t you tell? Why? I don’t understand how you
could keep this a secret and then expect me to do the same?”
    “Ok. That’s it. I’m done talking.”
    Trudy reached into her pocket then and took out one
of her brown cigarettes. She flicked a Zippo lighter with a Pac Man design and
lit it. I never saw a lighter with a Pac Man design. The smoke blew right up my
nose and burned. I liked it. I really wanted to hold the lighter, check out the
design. Ok, so I’ll admit I get easily distracted by these things. But when I
asked, she rolled her eyes and slipped it into her pocket. Then she started
walking fast. I switched back to the topic of Neal and she told me to get the
hell away so I crossed the street and walked on the other side.
    I am not sure how she could think Neal will get off.
But it bothered me all day. I kept thinking about Trudy smoking her brown
cigarettes, her head thrown back, blowing smoke rings up into the air, that Pac
Man lighter. I decided that I definitely needed to see her again. That's how I
am. I mean I know I don’t like to be wrong and I do get stuck on a thing. But I
hope I’m not a stalker. I wonder if stalkers know it. I know stalkers are
criminals, most of them. I don’t want to be a criminal. I’m so damn vulnerable
I can’t stand it. I suddenly feel a tremendous need to be with Trudy. And when
I think of Trudy, I’m not thinking about Leya. And this makes me feel guilty
and slightly off kilter.
    Lance
    COMMENTS
    Heather You
won’t want to hear it but I’d be careful, Lance. I do know Trudy hangs out with
a bad group. You are not so stable right now. Give yourself some more time. : )
just trying to help.
    @heather
not your concern
    THE
VISIT
    Benny boy wants to talk. He comes into my room and
stands by the window. He does this every morning lately. He just stands there.
What a buffoon. Adults are so damn weird sometimes. And so incredibly dull most
of the time. He asks how I’m doing, talks about the sun setting, the bad
weather or some other trivial matter like how he wants to get the book shelf
finished for Dorrie as a Christmas gift, and would I consider helping him.
Today, he came in and talked about the Blackwater’s house.