A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Ersatz Elevator by Lemony Snicket Page A

just using an expression. We're trying to figure something out." "Well, you'll never figure anything out on an empty stomach," Jerome replied. "I have some breakfast here for you: three poached eggs and some nice whole wheat toast." "Thank you," Violet said. "It's very nice of you to fix us breakfast." "You're very welcome," Jerome replied. "Esme has an important meeting with the King of Arizona today, so we have the whole day to ourselves. I thought we could walk across town to the Clothing District, and take your pinstripe suits to a good tailor. There's no use having those suits if they don't fit you properly." "Knilliu!" Sunny shrieked, which meant "That's very considerate of you." "I don't know what 'Knilliu!' means," Esme said, walking into the bedroom, "and I don't care, but neither will you when you hear the fantastic news I just received on the phone! Aqueous martinis are out, and parsley soda is in!" "Parsley soda?" Jerome said, frowning. "That sounds terrible. I think I'll stick to aqueous martinis." "You're not listening," Esme said. "Parsley soda is in now. You'll have to go out right now and buy a few crates of it." "But I was going to take the children's suits to the tailor today," Jerome said. "Then you'll have to change your plans," Esme said impatiently. "The children already have clothing, but we don't have any parsley soda." "Well, I don't want to argue," Jerome said. "Then don't argue," Esme replied. "And don't take the children with you, either. The Beverage District is no place for young people. Well, we'd better go, Jerome. I don't want to be late for His Arizona Highness." "But don't you want to spend some time with the Baudelaires before the work day begins?" Jerome asked. "Not particularly," Esme said, and looked briefly at her watch. "I'll just say good morning to them. Good morning. Well, let's go, Jerome." Jerome opened his mouth as if he had something else to say, but Esme was already marching out of the bedroom, so he just shrugged. "Have a good day," he said to the children. "There's food in all of our kitchens, so you can make yourselves lunch. I'm sorry that our plans didn't work out after all." "Hurry up!" Esme called, from down the hallway, and Jerome ran out of the room. The children heard their guardians' footsteps grow fainter and fainter as they made their way to the front door. "Well," Klaus said, when they couldn't hear them anymore, "what shall we do today?" "Vinfrey," Sunny said. "Sunny's right," Violet said. "We'd better spend the day figuring out what Gunther's up to." "How can we know what he's up to," Klaus said, "when we don't even know where he is?" "Well, we'd better find out," Violet said. "He already had the unfair advantage of the element of surprise, and we don't want him to have the unfair advantage of a good hiding place." "This penthouse has lots of good hiding places," Klaus said. "There are so many rooms." "Koundix," Sunny said, which meant something like "But he can't be in the penthouse. Esme saw him leave." "Well, maybe he sneaked back in," Violet said, "and is lurking around right now." The Baudelaires looked at one another, and then at Violet's doorway, half expecting to see Gunther standing there looking at them with his shiny, shiny eyes. "If he was lurking around here," Klaus said, "wouldn't he have grabbed us the instant the Squalors went out?" "Maybe," Violet said. "If that was his plan." The Baudelaires looked at the empty doorway again. "I'm scared," Klaus said. "Ecrif!" Sunny agreed. "I'm scared, too," Violet admitted, "but if he's here in the penthouse, we'd better find out. We'll have to search the entire place and see if we find him." "I don't want to find him," Klaus said. "Let's run downstairs and call Mr. Poe instead." "Mr. Poe is in a helicopter, looking for the Quagmire triplets," Violet said. "By the time he returns it may be too late. We have to figure out what Gunther is up to--not only for our sake, but for the sake of Isadora and Duncan." At