inches of sour mash whiskey in a couple of tumblers I brought from the kitchen we probably hadn’t spoken more than twenty words each.
I sat back on one of two matching rocking chair s on the porch and took a sip of the whiskey. It tasted like a blend of paint thinner and jet fuel. “You make this stuff?” I asked , grimacing but trying not to choke as it burned its way down my throat .
“You bet ,” he said proudly . “ Ya can’t buy this in a store. Ninety-five percent pure alcohol.”
I nodded and went silent again .
After a few minutes Con said: “Jack, I know your life has taken one awful fucking bad turn. Hard to imagine how things could possibly be worse. If ya think talkin g things out might help ya some, I’m a good listener. ”
I turned my gaze on him and watched as he sipped contentedly on his homebrew , rocking gently and gazing off into the distance. There was an effortless sincerity to him that wasn’t all that common with men in my experience. I t occurred to me that if I was in fact ready to begin the process of examination he would be someone to whom I might be able to open up. But I was a long way from that kind of disclosure. The wounds were still too fresh. Still, I found his voice soothing and a nything was better than that dangerous voice in my head. “Tell me a little about yourself, Con.”
“Not a lot ta tell,” he said matter-of-factly. “Born in Kentucky, raised on a farm . Got myself in to a bit a trouble as a kid. The army drafted me in sixty-five. Before I knew it I was slogging through the jungle s in Nam. Turned out I was pretty good at soldiering . Did three tours. After I got out , though, I realized I wasn’t much good for anything else.”
“ If you did a triple then yo u saw some bad shit, I imagine.”
There was a pause as he digested that thought. “ Y eah , ” he said in a quiet voice. He looked at me then and gave me a sad smile. “I’ve seen some bad shit. And it’s not something I talk about either . Maybe talking a little more would be good for both of us. ”
I nodded. “ Maybe,” I said.
“What’s the best outcome to this you can imagine?” he asked. “What I mean is, if this Henderson asshole was caught and sent back to prison, would that be enough for you?”
It was like he had read my mind from a couple of days earlier. “No,” I said. “It wouldn’t be enough.”
“ S o what’re ya saying?”
It took me several long seconds before I answered. “I guess I’m saying I ’d rather find him myself than let the Feds do it .”
“Yeah? And then what?”
I started to seethe thinking about it. “ This animal did things to my little girl I can’t even bring myself to s ay aloud . Because of him the only woman I ever loved is in a coma so deep her brain activity can’t be measured. I think you probably have a pretty good idea what I’d have in mind . ”
He sucked his teeth noisily while he processed my candid comment. “ Yeah, I imagine I do ,” he said .
I could feel myself giving in to the emotions that constantly threatened to engulf me. I took a deep breath and then threw back a large gulp of my drink.
“ What about the consequences? ” Con asked. “ You off this fucker you’re gonna do h ard time , Jack . The courts don’t take kindly to vigilante justice. No matter how much John Q. P ublic might app laud your actions.”
“ C onsequences are not exactly at the top of my priority list right now, ” I said. The
I sat back on one of two matching rocking chair s on the porch and took a sip of the whiskey. It tasted like a blend of paint thinner and jet fuel. “You make this stuff?” I asked , grimacing but trying not to choke as it burned its way down my throat .
“You bet ,” he said proudly . “ Ya can’t buy this in a store. Ninety-five percent pure alcohol.”
I nodded and went silent again .
After a few minutes Con said: “Jack, I know your life has taken one awful fucking bad turn. Hard to imagine how things could possibly be worse. If ya think talkin g things out might help ya some, I’m a good listener. ”
I turned my gaze on him and watched as he sipped contentedly on his homebrew , rocking gently and gazing off into the distance. There was an effortless sincerity to him that wasn’t all that common with men in my experience. I t occurred to me that if I was in fact ready to begin the process of examination he would be someone to whom I might be able to open up. But I was a long way from that kind of disclosure. The wounds were still too fresh. Still, I found his voice soothing and a nything was better than that dangerous voice in my head. “Tell me a little about yourself, Con.”
“Not a lot ta tell,” he said matter-of-factly. “Born in Kentucky, raised on a farm . Got myself in to a bit a trouble as a kid. The army drafted me in sixty-five. Before I knew it I was slogging through the jungle s in Nam. Turned out I was pretty good at soldiering . Did three tours. After I got out , though, I realized I wasn’t much good for anything else.”
“ If you did a triple then yo u saw some bad shit, I imagine.”
There was a pause as he digested that thought. “ Y eah , ” he said in a quiet voice. He looked at me then and gave me a sad smile. “I’ve seen some bad shit. And it’s not something I talk about either . Maybe talking a little more would be good for both of us. ”
I nodded. “ Maybe,” I said.
“What’s the best outcome to this you can imagine?” he asked. “What I mean is, if this Henderson asshole was caught and sent back to prison, would that be enough for you?”
It was like he had read my mind from a couple of days earlier. “No,” I said. “It wouldn’t be enough.”
“ S o what’re ya saying?”
It took me several long seconds before I answered. “I guess I’m saying I ’d rather find him myself than let the Feds do it .”
“Yeah? And then what?”
I started to seethe thinking about it. “ This animal did things to my little girl I can’t even bring myself to s ay aloud . Because of him the only woman I ever loved is in a coma so deep her brain activity can’t be measured. I think you probably have a pretty good idea what I’d have in mind . ”
He sucked his teeth noisily while he processed my candid comment. “ Yeah, I imagine I do ,” he said .
I could feel myself giving in to the emotions that constantly threatened to engulf me. I took a deep breath and then threw back a large gulp of my drink.
“ What about the consequences? ” Con asked. “ You off this fucker you’re gonna do h ard time , Jack . The courts don’t take kindly to vigilante justice. No matter how much John Q. P ublic might app laud your actions.”
“ C onsequences are not exactly at the top of my priority list right now, ” I said. The
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