I was a human. I missed out on something there. Much better than processed tortoise food.”
Ed turned around and started munching at the leaves. “I don’t suppose you got any napkins did you?”
Sam ignored him as he began tearing at the cardboard cover on the large pot of chicken pate. That still left him the tough plastic shrink wrap to get through before he could get to his tasty meal.
“I’ll have half today and the rest tomorrow,” he said as he finally got into the container, covering his snout, whiskers and black button nose in the surrounding jelly. Eagerly, his long wet tongue came out and swiped around the whole area, nose and all, to clear up the oily mess.
“I love that bit. The jelly is the best. The pate itself is overrated,” he blurted as he dug his teeth and tongue down into the soft mixture in the pot, covering himself once again.
Silence ensued as they respectively consumed their nourishment. Soon they were both in sleepy digestive mode and the evening became night, became day.
Chapter 4
The last supper
Slowly Ed came around, eyes still closed, taking in the soothing snoring sound resonating around the small space. He remained still and calm, scared to move in case he woke into his nightmare once more. How he longed to wake in his nicely decorated bedroom, with feather pillows and pretty wife, go downstairs for coffee and toast and jump out into his car and off to the office. The snoring continued. Maybe it was his wife, maybe everything would be okay. Nervously he engaged his eyelids, raising them like heavy external shutters outside a shop. Soon reality smashed him in the face and there he was staring at the large brown furry fox, the steaming black button vibrating ferociously with every loud snore.
“Oh fuck. Fuck! Fuck! This is too much,” thought the tortoise, once more back in his new reality. The fox was unmoved, motionless apart from the loud expulsions of air that loudly ripped through the lair.
“As if things weren’t bad enough, why does he have to fucking snore? Please help me someone,” exclaimed Ed, looking upwards for divine providence. Sadly for him the fox slept on undisturbed, deafening Ed for what seemed like hours until suddenly coming around with a start.
“Ah good, you’re still here,” stated the fox as he got up onto all four feet, stretching his body out full length before ripping into an exhausted yawn. Ed stared in disbelief into his large mouth with its razor-like, offensive dentures and unpleasant looking tongue.
“Wow, those teeth look really sharp, Sam.”
“I know, that’s ‘cos they are,” replied the fox before adding, “Did you sleep through okay?”
“Yes, but I’ve been awake for hours watching and listening to you snoring. It wasn’t a whole lot of fun, I can tell you that.”
“Don’t worry, I’m awake now. No more snoring, I promise,” replied Sam reassuringly.
“That’s good. Anyway, I’ve got to be honest with you, Sam. Sleeping on this hasn’t made this whole scenario any more believable,” said Ed, as Sam began to stir.
“I know. It wasn’t easy for me either in the beginning. I’d wake every morning, hoping it had all gone away, and that when I opened my eyes, I’d be with my wife on holiday. It was really only after my first transition that I properly started to come to terms with it. If you can believe for now, then reality will take control once you have jumped. Don’t despair, you’re not the only one,” said Sam trying to comfort the first-timer.
“Yes, I keep telling myself that, but comforting oneself with the notion that it’s okay because you’ll be killing yourself soon does have a few contradictions in it,” replied Ed reflectively.
“Well at least you’re killing a tortoise and not something you love.”
“You’re full of confidence-boosting insight, Sam,” replied the hard-shelled animal ironically as he turned and began munching a lettuce leaf to his left. Sam did likewise with
Ed turned around and started munching at the leaves. “I don’t suppose you got any napkins did you?”
Sam ignored him as he began tearing at the cardboard cover on the large pot of chicken pate. That still left him the tough plastic shrink wrap to get through before he could get to his tasty meal.
“I’ll have half today and the rest tomorrow,” he said as he finally got into the container, covering his snout, whiskers and black button nose in the surrounding jelly. Eagerly, his long wet tongue came out and swiped around the whole area, nose and all, to clear up the oily mess.
“I love that bit. The jelly is the best. The pate itself is overrated,” he blurted as he dug his teeth and tongue down into the soft mixture in the pot, covering himself once again.
Silence ensued as they respectively consumed their nourishment. Soon they were both in sleepy digestive mode and the evening became night, became day.
Chapter 4
The last supper
Slowly Ed came around, eyes still closed, taking in the soothing snoring sound resonating around the small space. He remained still and calm, scared to move in case he woke into his nightmare once more. How he longed to wake in his nicely decorated bedroom, with feather pillows and pretty wife, go downstairs for coffee and toast and jump out into his car and off to the office. The snoring continued. Maybe it was his wife, maybe everything would be okay. Nervously he engaged his eyelids, raising them like heavy external shutters outside a shop. Soon reality smashed him in the face and there he was staring at the large brown furry fox, the steaming black button vibrating ferociously with every loud snore.
“Oh fuck. Fuck! Fuck! This is too much,” thought the tortoise, once more back in his new reality. The fox was unmoved, motionless apart from the loud expulsions of air that loudly ripped through the lair.
“As if things weren’t bad enough, why does he have to fucking snore? Please help me someone,” exclaimed Ed, looking upwards for divine providence. Sadly for him the fox slept on undisturbed, deafening Ed for what seemed like hours until suddenly coming around with a start.
“Ah good, you’re still here,” stated the fox as he got up onto all four feet, stretching his body out full length before ripping into an exhausted yawn. Ed stared in disbelief into his large mouth with its razor-like, offensive dentures and unpleasant looking tongue.
“Wow, those teeth look really sharp, Sam.”
“I know, that’s ‘cos they are,” replied the fox before adding, “Did you sleep through okay?”
“Yes, but I’ve been awake for hours watching and listening to you snoring. It wasn’t a whole lot of fun, I can tell you that.”
“Don’t worry, I’m awake now. No more snoring, I promise,” replied Sam reassuringly.
“That’s good. Anyway, I’ve got to be honest with you, Sam. Sleeping on this hasn’t made this whole scenario any more believable,” said Ed, as Sam began to stir.
“I know. It wasn’t easy for me either in the beginning. I’d wake every morning, hoping it had all gone away, and that when I opened my eyes, I’d be with my wife on holiday. It was really only after my first transition that I properly started to come to terms with it. If you can believe for now, then reality will take control once you have jumped. Don’t despair, you’re not the only one,” said Sam trying to comfort the first-timer.
“Yes, I keep telling myself that, but comforting oneself with the notion that it’s okay because you’ll be killing yourself soon does have a few contradictions in it,” replied Ed reflectively.
“Well at least you’re killing a tortoise and not something you love.”
“You’re full of confidence-boosting insight, Sam,” replied the hard-shelled animal ironically as he turned and began munching a lettuce leaf to his left. Sam did likewise with
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