you?”
“Start a business, even if nobody bought anything. Or maybe everything would be free. Probably play tennis, surf, and always be young and healthy. And I’d be with you.” Jake lowered his chin and peered over his glasses at her. “With me. In a perfect world where you can have anything, you’d want to be with me.”
“Right.” She shrugged. You’re my guy.”
She had been debating this with herself since they had met, and more intensely in recent weeks. At first he had been perfectly inappropriate, the kind she could involve herself with, knowing she would never have to make the choice of permanency. He would be easy to leave. Why now, was she so drawn to this unlikely prospect? She knew it was more than his appeal as someone to save – a fix-up project. More than the modest celebrity he had attained. More than his intellect and talent, recently discovered.
It was that she had told him one day about the man in the car, and about all the others after him. That for a number of years, she had confused sex with love. He had listened, staring benignly out over the ocean before them. When she had finished, they sat quietly. Then he stood and offered his hand in a way that was full of kindness and understanding. They walked along the beach, finally stopping on a spit of sand that curved well out into the bay. He stepped out from shore a couple of feet and turned back toward her, his hands jammed down into the pockets of his shorts.
“I’ll never tell anybody. It’s just between you and me.” He smiled at her with an affection that made her know he would guard that secret place inside her that nobody else would ever see. She had trusted Jake with the worst of her and it was safe with him.
Now, as she flipped through the pages he had been typing, she saw something missing.
“Jake, where are you in all of this? You never talk about how you’re feeling. You need to get that into the story.”
“It’s hard to talk about, write about now. Maybe later.”
“What. Tell me.”
“It’s that I mostly believe all of it, that it’s gonna happen and everything. But there’s a little part of me that thinks we’re being jived. Just an uneasy voice that’s saying, watch out. It could all be a big hoax.”
“And Luke?”
“Luke’s a basket case. He doesn’t eat or sleep enough. Maybe he has his little voice too. Otherwise he’d be damn jubilant. He’s pretty religious in a weird way.”
“Yeah, I get that from listening to him. Not a zealot or anything but you can hear his bias.”
“Bias plus doubt. No wonder he’s a mess.”
He sat back at the typewriter and began to tap out the story he had missed. She fixed dinner, trying to be silent in the tiny kitchen. He slipped in, unnoticed, until his arms appeared around her from behind. “I started up with you for some wrong reasons,” he breathed into her hair. “I’m sorry.”
“Hey, you started. That’s what matters now. I came after you for the wrong reasons too. So what?”
“I guess I want you to know that I think of us like, well, like we’re a couple now.” He knew it was inadequate, that she needed to hear something more, that he needed to say more.
“And?”
“ I guess I must have fallen in love with you somewhere along the way. Or I’ve started to.”
“Well, I know that , for God’s sake.” It was her way to make it easier for him. She could feel his arms relax around her. “I love you too Jake. We are a couple.” She turned around within the circle of his arms, and he could see the new happiness in her eyes.
Chapter 14
The American Religious Congress had been the first. At a news conference in Manhattan, they “expressed the gravest doubt about the authenticity of predictions made over the air on the ABC network.” Walter Cronkite covered the denunciation as the lead story on the six o’clock news. Luke felt the hollow, sorrowful feeling in his chest, the one that now came with regularity but no predictability.
“Start a business, even if nobody bought anything. Or maybe everything would be free. Probably play tennis, surf, and always be young and healthy. And I’d be with you.” Jake lowered his chin and peered over his glasses at her. “With me. In a perfect world where you can have anything, you’d want to be with me.”
“Right.” She shrugged. You’re my guy.”
She had been debating this with herself since they had met, and more intensely in recent weeks. At first he had been perfectly inappropriate, the kind she could involve herself with, knowing she would never have to make the choice of permanency. He would be easy to leave. Why now, was she so drawn to this unlikely prospect? She knew it was more than his appeal as someone to save – a fix-up project. More than the modest celebrity he had attained. More than his intellect and talent, recently discovered.
It was that she had told him one day about the man in the car, and about all the others after him. That for a number of years, she had confused sex with love. He had listened, staring benignly out over the ocean before them. When she had finished, they sat quietly. Then he stood and offered his hand in a way that was full of kindness and understanding. They walked along the beach, finally stopping on a spit of sand that curved well out into the bay. He stepped out from shore a couple of feet and turned back toward her, his hands jammed down into the pockets of his shorts.
“I’ll never tell anybody. It’s just between you and me.” He smiled at her with an affection that made her know he would guard that secret place inside her that nobody else would ever see. She had trusted Jake with the worst of her and it was safe with him.
Now, as she flipped through the pages he had been typing, she saw something missing.
“Jake, where are you in all of this? You never talk about how you’re feeling. You need to get that into the story.”
“It’s hard to talk about, write about now. Maybe later.”
“What. Tell me.”
“It’s that I mostly believe all of it, that it’s gonna happen and everything. But there’s a little part of me that thinks we’re being jived. Just an uneasy voice that’s saying, watch out. It could all be a big hoax.”
“And Luke?”
“Luke’s a basket case. He doesn’t eat or sleep enough. Maybe he has his little voice too. Otherwise he’d be damn jubilant. He’s pretty religious in a weird way.”
“Yeah, I get that from listening to him. Not a zealot or anything but you can hear his bias.”
“Bias plus doubt. No wonder he’s a mess.”
He sat back at the typewriter and began to tap out the story he had missed. She fixed dinner, trying to be silent in the tiny kitchen. He slipped in, unnoticed, until his arms appeared around her from behind. “I started up with you for some wrong reasons,” he breathed into her hair. “I’m sorry.”
“Hey, you started. That’s what matters now. I came after you for the wrong reasons too. So what?”
“I guess I want you to know that I think of us like, well, like we’re a couple now.” He knew it was inadequate, that she needed to hear something more, that he needed to say more.
“And?”
“ I guess I must have fallen in love with you somewhere along the way. Or I’ve started to.”
“Well, I know that , for God’s sake.” It was her way to make it easier for him. She could feel his arms relax around her. “I love you too Jake. We are a couple.” She turned around within the circle of his arms, and he could see the new happiness in her eyes.
Chapter 14
The American Religious Congress had been the first. At a news conference in Manhattan, they “expressed the gravest doubt about the authenticity of predictions made over the air on the ABC network.” Walter Cronkite covered the denunciation as the lead story on the six o’clock news. Luke felt the hollow, sorrowful feeling in his chest, the one that now came with regularity but no predictability.
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