Absolute Sunset by Kata Mlek Page B

he was out. He packed a few things for his wife. Mrs. Ram dropped by with a jar of the broth for her neighbour in labor. Everyone knew that broth is the best cure for weakness. Later Janusz cleaned the bathtub. Then he took a bath. He had no idea what else he should do. He went out to the balcony for a moment. He dropped in to Hanka’s room. She was snoring quietly. He lay down as well and immediately fell asleep.
    He reached the hospital at exactly six the following morning. Excitement replaced yesterday’s hesitation when the nurse on call gave him a thrilling message.
    “It’s a boy!” She said, grinning.
    Janusz squeezed the bouquet of carnations he’d bought on the way to the hospital. Their scent reminded him of cinnamon. Their stiff stems were straight and the blooms seemed to look around curiously. It’s always a good choice, a carnation. It wouldn’t die quickly in the stuffiness of the hospital. And it’s easy on the eye.
    He knocked gently at the door of the room. He felt a bit like an intruder here, in the centre of a woman’s world. He was entering their area, their consecrated territory. On one hand he was curious about it, on the other—afraid. He ran his hand through his hair and knocked again. He entered, without waiting for a response. Sink or swim.
    Sabina was lying right by the window. Alone. And she wasn’t moving. There were no other patients and no child.
    “Good morning,” Janusz said cautiously and kissed his wife on the forehead. Sabina was pale and indifferent. She was sleeping deeply. She must have been exhausted. No wonder—labor is tough.
    Janusz put the carnations on the shelf. He took the greasy jar with the broth out of the bag. Ribbons of pasta floated inside, looking like nematodes. Yuck! He hid the food in the cupboard. He couldn’t bear to look at it or smell it. He fluffed Sabina’s pillow. She opened her eyes.
    “Hi,” she mumbled in response.
    “How are you feeling?”
    “Well...”
    “Where’s the baby?”
    “In the neonatal ward. A nurse took him.”
    “Should I bring him here?”
    “No!”
    Janusz straightened.
    “What?” He felt like shouting, but held back. “Is he being treated for something?” he asked calmly.
    “No. Janusz...” Sabina sat up. “We need to talk.”
    Janusz bristled like a dog sensing a threat. He wiped sweating hands on his trousers and sat down on a stool that stood by the wall.
We need to talk
usually didn’t mean anything good.
    “So, I’m listening,” he said, although all he really wanted was to run away.
    “Janusz, I... I don’t want him. Let’s give him away. Let’s leave him here,” Sabina started.
    “What!” Janusz thought he had misheard. “What!”
    “I’ve already talked to the nurses,” Sabina continued in a monotonous tone. “We’ll sign documents. He’ll stay here. Somebody will take him. There’s a demand for small children. And I don’t want him.”
    “And what about me!” Janusz jumped to his feet. “I have a fucking right to decide, too!” he roared. The crying of children, awakened on the other side of the wall, answered him, along with the complaints of their mothers.
    “Janusz, calm down. It’ll be better this way,” Sabina grabbed him by the thigh, but Janusz broke free and started pacing around the room.
    “It won’t be any better! I don’t agree!”
    “Ok, but you’ll be the one to take care of him!” Sabina began to yell as well. “I’m not going to do that! Hanka is enough for me, and what’s more we don’t have the money! Thank God my parents left us the apartment, at least. Otherwise we’d be living in a shelter! I can’t stand it anymore! Do you understand? I don’t want this kid! Get it, you stud? I’m not going to wear myself out over the next little snot!”
    “You...” Janusz began, his fists clenched. It took a lot of effort to control himself. “I’m going now to see the boy. You pull yourself together. I won’t give him back. If you give him back,