Absolution by Diane Alberts Page B

after he
realized she didn’t deserve him?
    No. She couldn’t do it. She was right to push
him away. To end things and save herself from more pain.
    Why, then, did it hurt so much?

Chapter Five
     
     
    Joseph leaned against the door, drawing in a
shaky breath. He couldn’t believe after he’d made her listen to the
truth, after he’d told her he loved her, that she’d told him she’d
had fun and said goodbye.
    What the fuck did she mean, anyway?
    One didn’t pour their heart into another’s
hands only to turn to say, “Well, I had fun, but I never really
want to be with you again.” Did they? He damn well didn’t. He’d
given himself to her in every way possible, and she’d rejected it
all. She should have just shot him in the heart—it would have hurt
a heck of a lot less.
    He sighed, rubbing his neck. No, really, the
whole thing reeked of unfairness. His treatment of her. Her blasé
reaction to his confession. It all…well, it sucked. Yet, he would
have sworn he’d seen something in her eyes while he’d made
love to her, leading him to believe she’d felt more than base lust.
Apparently, it had been put there by his own desire to have her
love him, his own need to hold her until they turned old and
gray.
    Pain squeezed his heart, demanding he lash
out at something. Anything. He needed to blow off some damn steam,
or he would combust. She’d had an itch. He’d scratched it. Now, she
wanted to move on. He damn well didn’t, but he couldn’t force her
to have feelings for him. Couldn’t make her trust him or even want
to trust him.
    He’d been trying his damn best to get her to
listen to him, and now that she had, it hadn’t changed a thing. He
couldn’t blame her father this time, either. The anger lay solely
at her feet. He didn’t like it one little fucking bit.
    Helplessness didn’t sit well inside him. He
never liked being out of control of his life, hated allowing
someone the power to hurt him. He’d given too much to her, not to
mention too much of himself. Time for that to change. Time to
revert to his old way of life before Eva—not allowing anyone inside
his brain. Or his heart.
    Grunting, he stomped down the hallway and out
of the hotel. He needed to hurry. Angry at her or not, he would
still keep her safe from anything or anyone threatening her.
     
    ***
     
    Eva stood under the water, allowing the
shower to wash away the evidence of her lapse in judgment. She
didn’t know what felt worse. The fact he’d never cheated on her and
she’d refused him the chance to explain his side of the story to
her, or maybe that she still didn’t trust him. For over a month,
she’d thought him a lying, two-faced scumbag. How could she flip a
switch in her mind, believing he spoke the truth? What man wouldn’t
lie when asked if he’d cheated?
    But he hadn’t defended himself. Now, all this
time had been lost between them, and he expected her to pick back
up where they’d left off. As if nothing had happened. Had her
father really done all the things Joseph accused him of? It
wouldn’t be too difficult to imagine him doing it. But even knowing
of Joseph’s supposed innocence, she couldn’t commit to him. Could
she?
    Without warning, the shower curtain was
yanked back. Eva screamed and spun to face her intruder, soapy arm
held out at chest level—what would she kill the man with,
bubbles?—only to find Joseph staring at her with hooded eyes. He
stepped into the shower, clothes and all, pressing her into the
corner until he stood so close their noses touched.
    “You say you don’t love me. You lie,” he
accused, his voice raw.
    She shook her head, swallowing hard. “No, I
never said I didn’t love you.” Water dripped into her eyes, but she
did not look away from his face. She couldn’t lie. Not to him. “I
only said I didn’t know what to do.”
    His brow furrowed. “Why not? I told you I’d
never been unfaithful. I told you I loved you. What the hell do you
want from