but I’m afraid there’s no fixing it now. We can’t just put a Band-aid on a shark bite and look the other way.”
He looked at me like I was the most evil, vile person in the world. “I can’t believe you’re willing to tear this family apart.”
“Don’t try to send me on a guilt trip. It won’t work anymore. We can and will still give the kids a good life. My sister only lives a street away. She has a huge house and can’t afford the bills, so it will help her out if we move in. I won’t ask for child support, because I don’t want your money. I won’t backtalk you or say anything bad about you to our children. I encourage you to keep the relationship you have with them, because you’re a damn good father. You can come see them anytime you want. I won’t be a bitter ex-wife. I want us to remain friends, to stay on good terms. I don’t hate you, Tom. You’re still my best friend, and I hope we can have an amicable split.”
“Amicable? You’re ruining everything we worked so hard for!” he said.
“No, you did that. There is discord in our relationship, a real disconnect, and it started a long time ago. For so long, I was too blind to face the facts. It’s so obvious that you dumped me a long time ago. We share a house, bills, kids, a room, a toilet, a fridge, and even our last name, but we’re still nothing more than roommates. I can’t believe this is such a surprise to you. I may as well have joined a convent over the last few years.”
He threw his hands up in the air. “How is this going to look to all our friends and neighbors? A divorce will stain and tarnish my good reputation.”
“Oh my gosh! Is that all your worried about? How it will look to everyone? What about my needs?” I stared at him hard. “You’ve not touched me for years. Tell me, Tom, who have you been touching?”
He touched my shoulders. “Morgan, I swear there’s no other woman in my life but you.”
A tear slipped down my face. “Do you have any idea how much my heart is breaking? The pain is so great that I feel like giving up altogether.”
He touched my cheek. “I’m hurting too.”
“This cuts me so deep, right to my soul, and I mean that. It hurts so much that I can barely breathe.”
“Then let me take it away,” he whispered.
I looked up into his eyes, and more tears dripped down my face. “Just answer one question.”
Tom met my gaze and wiped a tear from my cheek. “Anything.”
“Do you find me attractive anymore? Do you think I’m still...sexy?”
He blinked. “You know how beautiful you are.”
I gripped his hands. “Tom, do you really, really love me?”
He blinked as if searching for the perfect answer. “Well, see, passion is—”
“Give me the Cliff’s Notes, Professor. It’s a simple question. A simple yes or no will suffice. Do you love me?”
“Yes. Of course I do.”
“I-I don’t mean as a friend,” I said between sobs. “Do you love me in a romantic way? And please answer honestly.”
He swallowed hard. “I guess maybe not in the way you want me to, but like you said, we’re best friends. You know how much I love you and care about you, and—”
“And what, Tom? And we’re supposed to stay in a lie of a marriage that is really just a disguise for some plutonic friendship? Anyway, that’s all I need to know.” I had known it all along, of course, but hearing him say it outloud was a huge blow. “I’m going,” I said.
He kissed me on the head. “I’m so sorry.”
“If you don’t love me like that, why did you want me to stay?”
“Like you said, I hate change. I’m comfortable like this. Also, I sure as hell don’t want to lose my best friend.”
“But that’s all we are.”
“Yes,” he softly said. “I guess I didn’t really wanna admit that, but it’s true.”
“We had our share of wedded bliss, I guess, but it was all an illusion, and now it’s gone. Goodbye, Tom.” I couldn’t stand there and look at him for another
He looked at me like I was the most evil, vile person in the world. “I can’t believe you’re willing to tear this family apart.”
“Don’t try to send me on a guilt trip. It won’t work anymore. We can and will still give the kids a good life. My sister only lives a street away. She has a huge house and can’t afford the bills, so it will help her out if we move in. I won’t ask for child support, because I don’t want your money. I won’t backtalk you or say anything bad about you to our children. I encourage you to keep the relationship you have with them, because you’re a damn good father. You can come see them anytime you want. I won’t be a bitter ex-wife. I want us to remain friends, to stay on good terms. I don’t hate you, Tom. You’re still my best friend, and I hope we can have an amicable split.”
“Amicable? You’re ruining everything we worked so hard for!” he said.
“No, you did that. There is discord in our relationship, a real disconnect, and it started a long time ago. For so long, I was too blind to face the facts. It’s so obvious that you dumped me a long time ago. We share a house, bills, kids, a room, a toilet, a fridge, and even our last name, but we’re still nothing more than roommates. I can’t believe this is such a surprise to you. I may as well have joined a convent over the last few years.”
He threw his hands up in the air. “How is this going to look to all our friends and neighbors? A divorce will stain and tarnish my good reputation.”
“Oh my gosh! Is that all your worried about? How it will look to everyone? What about my needs?” I stared at him hard. “You’ve not touched me for years. Tell me, Tom, who have you been touching?”
He touched my shoulders. “Morgan, I swear there’s no other woman in my life but you.”
A tear slipped down my face. “Do you have any idea how much my heart is breaking? The pain is so great that I feel like giving up altogether.”
He touched my cheek. “I’m hurting too.”
“This cuts me so deep, right to my soul, and I mean that. It hurts so much that I can barely breathe.”
“Then let me take it away,” he whispered.
I looked up into his eyes, and more tears dripped down my face. “Just answer one question.”
Tom met my gaze and wiped a tear from my cheek. “Anything.”
“Do you find me attractive anymore? Do you think I’m still...sexy?”
He blinked. “You know how beautiful you are.”
I gripped his hands. “Tom, do you really, really love me?”
He blinked as if searching for the perfect answer. “Well, see, passion is—”
“Give me the Cliff’s Notes, Professor. It’s a simple question. A simple yes or no will suffice. Do you love me?”
“Yes. Of course I do.”
“I-I don’t mean as a friend,” I said between sobs. “Do you love me in a romantic way? And please answer honestly.”
He swallowed hard. “I guess maybe not in the way you want me to, but like you said, we’re best friends. You know how much I love you and care about you, and—”
“And what, Tom? And we’re supposed to stay in a lie of a marriage that is really just a disguise for some plutonic friendship? Anyway, that’s all I need to know.” I had known it all along, of course, but hearing him say it outloud was a huge blow. “I’m going,” I said.
He kissed me on the head. “I’m so sorry.”
“If you don’t love me like that, why did you want me to stay?”
“Like you said, I hate change. I’m comfortable like this. Also, I sure as hell don’t want to lose my best friend.”
“But that’s all we are.”
“Yes,” he softly said. “I guess I didn’t really wanna admit that, but it’s true.”
“We had our share of wedded bliss, I guess, but it was all an illusion, and now it’s gone. Goodbye, Tom.” I couldn’t stand there and look at him for another
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