y’all are too much alike, but Rell would never do anything to intentionally hurt you. He’s too selfless. He’ll hurt himself before he hurts you.”
“How exactly do you know that, Kailani? Just from seeing him get cheated on by Layyah?”
She stopped running her fingers through my hair momentarily before continuing.
“Nah. Me and Rell… we… fucked off.”
I sat up so I could look her in her eyes. “What you mean y’all fucked off?”
“We had a thing for each other. We fought it for as long as we could but Bishop was taking me through so much shit and I was so vulnerable, and Rell was there for me. We almost had sex, but you don’t have to worry about me either. I’m satisfied and committed to my husband. Had he not been acting so foolish, Rell and I wouldn’t have even entertained each other. We just got caught up.”
“So, that’s why you’re fighting so hard for him to find somebody, hunh?”
“Yes, I know firsthand that he’s a good man. He deserves the best. He has so much love to give, Alayziah, and if I honestly felt like you two wouldn’t work, I wouldn’t have even introduced you to him.”
“I hear you.”
“Do you really?”
“I do.”
“Then go and find your man.”
Rell
Alayziah had been in the studio for a few minutes before I gave her my full attention. She was so stubborn it was frustrating. I decided to take Bishop’s advice to see where her head was at before I gave up, fucked her, and let the idea of having a relationship with her go completely. She had her feet up on my soundboard. Her head was resting on the back of her chair as she took a blunt to the head. If I wasn’t feeling some type of way, the sight would be turning me on but since I was feeling petty, I just stared at her ass until she looked at me.
“What Rell?”
“What’s up with you, mane?”
She rolled her eyes as she put her feet on the ground and sat her blunt in the ashtray. “Ain’t no point in me even smoking with you if you just gone blow my high,” she muttered, folding her arms over her chest and leaning back in her chair.
“You don’t think we need to talk about this? I’m losing my patience with you, Alayziah. I wouldn’t give a fuck if I felt like you genuinely didn’t want a nigga but I know you do, and I want you too. So, what’s up? What happened that’s got you so shut down?”
I pulled her chair closer to mine.
“Rell, I will never deny that I like you. I promise you I do. I just… I can’t take another loss. I love so hard. I don’t want to be hurt again. I’ve had niggas feed me abortion pills. Gay niggas try to marry me just so no one would think they were gay, and the last nigga… he was in a fucking triangle with a crazy ass bitch. I loved him so much.”
“That’s the one that died, hunh?”
Tears fell from her eyes as she nodded yes.
“It wasn’t even a year ago. I still think about him… cry over him. It’s not because I want him back or some shit like that like I’ve accepted his death, I just can’t believe how stupid I was for him. I never want to be in a position where I love and want a nigga so much that I’m out here looking so foolish. Nigga was straight up married and I was still messing with his lying ass.” She wiped her face and looked at me. “I’m scared, Rell. I already like you so much. I know I’m going to love you deeply. I just don’t want to and then you leave me. I can’t take another loss. I’d go crazy.”
She was starting to cry harder so I pulled her into my lap and arms – held her until she calmed down a bit.
“I understand that you’ve been hurt before, baby, but can you tell me one thing that I’ve done to hurt you?”
Looking into my eyes, she played with my chin. “No.”
“Can you tell me one thing that I’ve done to make you feel like you can’t trust me?”
“No.”
“Have I lied to you?”
“No.”
“Do I have a wife or girlfriend stashed somewhere?”
“No, Terrell,” she
“How exactly do you know that, Kailani? Just from seeing him get cheated on by Layyah?”
She stopped running her fingers through my hair momentarily before continuing.
“Nah. Me and Rell… we… fucked off.”
I sat up so I could look her in her eyes. “What you mean y’all fucked off?”
“We had a thing for each other. We fought it for as long as we could but Bishop was taking me through so much shit and I was so vulnerable, and Rell was there for me. We almost had sex, but you don’t have to worry about me either. I’m satisfied and committed to my husband. Had he not been acting so foolish, Rell and I wouldn’t have even entertained each other. We just got caught up.”
“So, that’s why you’re fighting so hard for him to find somebody, hunh?”
“Yes, I know firsthand that he’s a good man. He deserves the best. He has so much love to give, Alayziah, and if I honestly felt like you two wouldn’t work, I wouldn’t have even introduced you to him.”
“I hear you.”
“Do you really?”
“I do.”
“Then go and find your man.”
Rell
Alayziah had been in the studio for a few minutes before I gave her my full attention. She was so stubborn it was frustrating. I decided to take Bishop’s advice to see where her head was at before I gave up, fucked her, and let the idea of having a relationship with her go completely. She had her feet up on my soundboard. Her head was resting on the back of her chair as she took a blunt to the head. If I wasn’t feeling some type of way, the sight would be turning me on but since I was feeling petty, I just stared at her ass until she looked at me.
“What Rell?”
“What’s up with you, mane?”
She rolled her eyes as she put her feet on the ground and sat her blunt in the ashtray. “Ain’t no point in me even smoking with you if you just gone blow my high,” she muttered, folding her arms over her chest and leaning back in her chair.
“You don’t think we need to talk about this? I’m losing my patience with you, Alayziah. I wouldn’t give a fuck if I felt like you genuinely didn’t want a nigga but I know you do, and I want you too. So, what’s up? What happened that’s got you so shut down?”
I pulled her chair closer to mine.
“Rell, I will never deny that I like you. I promise you I do. I just… I can’t take another loss. I love so hard. I don’t want to be hurt again. I’ve had niggas feed me abortion pills. Gay niggas try to marry me just so no one would think they were gay, and the last nigga… he was in a fucking triangle with a crazy ass bitch. I loved him so much.”
“That’s the one that died, hunh?”
Tears fell from her eyes as she nodded yes.
“It wasn’t even a year ago. I still think about him… cry over him. It’s not because I want him back or some shit like that like I’ve accepted his death, I just can’t believe how stupid I was for him. I never want to be in a position where I love and want a nigga so much that I’m out here looking so foolish. Nigga was straight up married and I was still messing with his lying ass.” She wiped her face and looked at me. “I’m scared, Rell. I already like you so much. I know I’m going to love you deeply. I just don’t want to and then you leave me. I can’t take another loss. I’d go crazy.”
She was starting to cry harder so I pulled her into my lap and arms – held her until she calmed down a bit.
“I understand that you’ve been hurt before, baby, but can you tell me one thing that I’ve done to hurt you?”
Looking into my eyes, she played with my chin. “No.”
“Can you tell me one thing that I’ve done to make you feel like you can’t trust me?”
“No.”
“Have I lied to you?”
“No.”
“Do I have a wife or girlfriend stashed somewhere?”
“No, Terrell,” she
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