there’s a housekeeper and everything … I just think they might reckon I’m, you know, not …’
‘Not what, Annie?’
‘Not … not educated enough, Mrs Todd! And that I don’t speak like they do or think what they think or know about the things they know about. That I’m not … well … not good enough for them.’ Annie’s voice faltered into a doleful silence and Alice sighed.
‘Oh Annie! It’s this class thing, isn’t it?’ she said. Annie nodded and they sat without speaking for a moment or two. ‘We’ve talked about this before, haven’t we?’
‘Yes, we have. And you said it’s all nonsense and that what with the First World War and then the suffragettesand now this war, society is changing and it’s not where you went to school or your accent or whether you say “serviette” or “napkin” that matters, it’s who you are and what you do!’ Although Annie had precisely remembered Alice’s comments, she repeated them without much conviction. Alice nodded and waited, guessing that Annie’s next word would be ‘but’. ‘But …’ she began, exactly on cue, adding, embarrassed, ‘You’re laughing at me, Mrs Todd! Am I being stupid?’
‘No. Not a bit stupid. A little predictable perhaps, but not stupid. The thing is, Annie, that most of the people who worry about what is correct or incorrect, and who look down their noses at people whose accents are different from theirs, and who either don’t know or don’t care about the so-called “rules”, do so because they’re insecure.’
‘Insecure? Are they?’
‘Conforming to the rules is a sort of protection.’
‘Is it?’
‘They feel safe and even smug, hiding behind all these meaningless conventions. You’re a clever girl, Annie! You got excellent marks in your Ministry of Agriculture exams! You’ve read all the books on that list Georgina left with you. You’re sensitive and you’re courteous and you’re very, very beautiful. Hector’s a lucky fellow! He is also, from what I’ve seen of him, a very nice one. What’s more,’ Alice added, laughing, ‘Rose approves of him!’
‘Does she?’ Annie was smiling now. ‘Well that’s good news, then!’ she laughed. ‘There can’t be nothing … Imean anything … wrong with Hector if he passes muster with our Mrs Crocker!’
‘Go and visit him, Annie! He’ll look after you! He loves you! His family will probably surprise you. They won’t be like anyone you’ve ever met before, but nor was I when you and I first met, and we get on together pretty well, don’t we?’
The attraction between Annie and Hector had surprised everyone. Gawky and tall, his poor eyesight exempting him from conscription, the kindest description of Hector would be that he looked ‘bookish’. His forehead was high and his long hair flopped, except when he drove at speed about the countryside in the course of his work, the canvas hood of his bull-nosed Morris folded down. Then, with his hair whipping in the slipstream and his chin slightly lifted, Annie had seen a different Hector. A man of sensitivity and determination. A man who knew things. Who shared his knowledge with her and who encouraged her curiosity without patronising her. Who made her laugh and found her funny. A man who for a long time had done nothing more than hold her hand, but whose first kiss had expressed his feelings more eloquently than any words could have done.
Alice seldom gave her girls direct advice, suggesting, instead, various ways of approaching whatever problem was worrying them. Having been more specific on this occasion, she was concerned that her optimism where Annie was concerned might backfire. That Hector’s family could, possibly unwittingly, make her feel inferior and destroy hergrowing confidence. Nevertheless she encouraged Roger Bayliss to allow the girl the three days leave she requested, and when Mr Jack came to collect her and deliver her to Ledburton Halt, Alice was waving goodbye to her
‘Not what, Annie?’
‘Not … not educated enough, Mrs Todd! And that I don’t speak like they do or think what they think or know about the things they know about. That I’m not … well … not good enough for them.’ Annie’s voice faltered into a doleful silence and Alice sighed.
‘Oh Annie! It’s this class thing, isn’t it?’ she said. Annie nodded and they sat without speaking for a moment or two. ‘We’ve talked about this before, haven’t we?’
‘Yes, we have. And you said it’s all nonsense and that what with the First World War and then the suffragettesand now this war, society is changing and it’s not where you went to school or your accent or whether you say “serviette” or “napkin” that matters, it’s who you are and what you do!’ Although Annie had precisely remembered Alice’s comments, she repeated them without much conviction. Alice nodded and waited, guessing that Annie’s next word would be ‘but’. ‘But …’ she began, exactly on cue, adding, embarrassed, ‘You’re laughing at me, Mrs Todd! Am I being stupid?’
‘No. Not a bit stupid. A little predictable perhaps, but not stupid. The thing is, Annie, that most of the people who worry about what is correct or incorrect, and who look down their noses at people whose accents are different from theirs, and who either don’t know or don’t care about the so-called “rules”, do so because they’re insecure.’
‘Insecure? Are they?’
‘Conforming to the rules is a sort of protection.’
‘Is it?’
‘They feel safe and even smug, hiding behind all these meaningless conventions. You’re a clever girl, Annie! You got excellent marks in your Ministry of Agriculture exams! You’ve read all the books on that list Georgina left with you. You’re sensitive and you’re courteous and you’re very, very beautiful. Hector’s a lucky fellow! He is also, from what I’ve seen of him, a very nice one. What’s more,’ Alice added, laughing, ‘Rose approves of him!’
‘Does she?’ Annie was smiling now. ‘Well that’s good news, then!’ she laughed. ‘There can’t be nothing … Imean anything … wrong with Hector if he passes muster with our Mrs Crocker!’
‘Go and visit him, Annie! He’ll look after you! He loves you! His family will probably surprise you. They won’t be like anyone you’ve ever met before, but nor was I when you and I first met, and we get on together pretty well, don’t we?’
The attraction between Annie and Hector had surprised everyone. Gawky and tall, his poor eyesight exempting him from conscription, the kindest description of Hector would be that he looked ‘bookish’. His forehead was high and his long hair flopped, except when he drove at speed about the countryside in the course of his work, the canvas hood of his bull-nosed Morris folded down. Then, with his hair whipping in the slipstream and his chin slightly lifted, Annie had seen a different Hector. A man of sensitivity and determination. A man who knew things. Who shared his knowledge with her and who encouraged her curiosity without patronising her. Who made her laugh and found her funny. A man who for a long time had done nothing more than hold her hand, but whose first kiss had expressed his feelings more eloquently than any words could have done.
Alice seldom gave her girls direct advice, suggesting, instead, various ways of approaching whatever problem was worrying them. Having been more specific on this occasion, she was concerned that her optimism where Annie was concerned might backfire. That Hector’s family could, possibly unwittingly, make her feel inferior and destroy hergrowing confidence. Nevertheless she encouraged Roger Bayliss to allow the girl the three days leave she requested, and when Mr Jack came to collect her and deliver her to Ledburton Halt, Alice was waving goodbye to her
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