All I Ever Wanted by Kristan Higgans Page A

Mom? I love this story! It smells good here! Can I have some meat?
    â€œHe seemed down,” Dr. McFarland repeated.
    â€œOff. He seemed off.” I looked at the floor.
    He sighed, then set the chart down on the counter. “Miss Grey,” he said, folding his arms and giving me the full power of the Arctic stare. He paused for a moment. “Let me share something with you. You’re the eighth woman this week to come in with a vague complaint involving a pet eating something he shouldn’t have.” He paused. “Seven of those women were single. And as I seem to recall from our morning together at the Department of Motor Vehicles, you’re single as well.”
    D’oh! as Homer Simpson would say. “Wow. Someone has an ego,” I murmured, pulling on Bowie’s leash as he inched closer and closer to Dr. McFarland’s leg.
    â€œTwo of the dogs supposedly ate dishcloths. When I told the owners that this was cause for concern, as cloth can be very damaging to an animal’s intestinal track,they rather abruptly amended their stories. A parrot may or may not have eaten a plastic toy. One cat allegedly ate a ring. When I recommended an X-ray, the owner found the ring in her pocket. And four dogs, Miss Grey, seem to have eaten a newspaper and were feeling a little off.”
    â€œWhat a coincidence,” I said brightly.
    He raised an eyebrow, slowly. Mr. Darcy could take put-down lessons from this guy. Jenna was right. He was kind of a dick.
    â€œYou know what, Dr. McFarland?” I chirped. “You’re actually a little bit right. Here’s the thing.” I paused. He waited. I waited, too, for something good to come to me. “Bowie did eat the paper this morning. I’d been meaning to come see you anyway, and since my dog felt a little blue, I figured what the heck.” I cleared my throat. “See, the thing is, I used to work for Dr. Kumar, did you know that?” Dr. McStuck-Up shook his head, looking utterly uninterested. “I washed dogs, cleaned up, was generally helpful.”
    Dr. McFarland sighed and glanced at his watch.
    â€œAnyway, I work in advertising and public relations now…um, and I know how friendly and sweet Dr. Kumar was, and you have big shoes to fill and all that. So I was thinking maybe you needed some…I don’t know. A little help in getting the word out that you’re just as sweet as Dr. K. Because I’m guessing that even though you’re seeing a bump in the single-women-pet-owning population right now, business might die down a little.”
    Ah-ha! He frowned—frowned more, that is—and I kept talking. “You might not know this, but there’s another veterinary practice in Kettering, which is only fifteen minutes away, and it’s not really much farther for the people who live east of Main Street, so you know…I wondered if you might be interested in a little PR, so I figured I’d drop in and offer my services.”
    Well! That was as unexpected as pigs flying out of my butt, as my dear grandfather would say. Not bad, Michelle said. Though I don’t approve of lying, of course. “Why?” I asked. “Did you think I was checking you out?”
    Dr. McFarland regarded me steadily. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m not looking for an advertising agency.”
    â€œThis would be more public relations,” I said. Bowie wagged encouragingly and added a yip.
    â€œNo, thank you,” the vet said. “Now. Would you like me to examine your dog or not?”
    â€œSure!” I said. “Might as well, right?” He didn’t roll his eyes, but I sensed it was close. The vet knelt down next to Bowie, who immediately tried to mount him for a little dry humping.
    â€œOff,” Dr. McFarland said. Bowie obeyed, surprisingly, and licked the vet’s face, getting a little smile as a reward. A smile. Something hot and unexpected darted in