All My Heart (Count On Me Book 4) by Melyssa Winchester Page B

me.
    The way I’m acting and the way I’m thinking can’t be healthy, but I’m not sure what else to do. She’s always just been there in my mind since I finally screwed my head on straight and I don’t want to imagine what it would be like if she wasn’t. It makes me grasp on to her tighter, even knowing that if I hold on any tighter I’ll choke her.
    “Bro, you sure you’re going home to see your girl? You look like you’re about to take a trip to the dentist.”
    I don’t want to get into this with him. Hell, I don’t even wanna think about it myself but if I wanna be able to make this trip and not sit riddled with doubts for the next few hours, I’m gonna have to say something.
    “Why do you only go home once a month?”
    “Caddy wants it that way.”
    “Seriously?”
    I’m pretty surprised by his answer. I assumed that with the way Dillon is with his need to not form attachments, he was the reason. Hearing its Cadence though, that’s kind of crazy. I thought she was like Belle. It’s weird.
    “Yeah. We’re still figuring this shit out. It’s hard. So she told me the week before I left that it was easier to do things this way for a while.”
    “Why?”
    “Don’t know, but I’m not gonna argue with her. I want to see her as much as you do with Belle, but for us, I’m not sure it would work. At least not yet.”
    “You think I’m going home too much?”
    “Can’t answer that. You know t he way things were with my dad. The fucking brainwashing, weak versus strong shit. How twisted up inside I was even thinking about changing. I’m coming at this from a different place than you. Only you can say if you’re doing the right thing.”
    “That’s not a whole lot of help.”
    “You want help from me? Seriously? Are you insane?”
    “Remember when I told you that I wanted to do something big for our anniversary in a few weeks?” He nods so I continue. “I took the money I made this summer working at the shop and bought her a ring.”
    “You what?”
    I can tell by the way he’s looking at me that he thinks I’m going to propose and while the idea has crossed my mind, it’s not that type of ring. I might imagine my life easily with this girl, but I’m not even nineteen. I know that’s moving too quickly even if it does feel right.
    “Not that type of ring. More like a promise thing. I’ve been like this since the homecoming game last year. Every time I see shit in the future, like where I’m gonna end up, she’s there. I wanted some way to make that more solid.”
    “Belle adores you. She’s not going anywhere. I get why you wanna give her a ring, take it to the next level and all but don’t you think that’s a little fast? I mean, don’t take this the wrong way but have you even slept with her?”
    “Not answering that.”
    “You just did.” He says, grinning like a Cheshire cat. Of course it’s obvious that I haven’t. I should have reme mbered that evading is usually worse than admitting the truth.
    “Man, I get where you’re coming from, but there’s more going on with you than just wanting to make a future with her. So before you go and propose to the girl, I think you need to settle that shit.”
    “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
    “You don’t know?”
    Okay, Dillon is reminding me of why we were such good friends before. He’s being an asshole. He hasn’t stopped grinning the entire time, which means he finds my lack of understanding hilarious.
    “Obviously not or I wouldn’t have asked.”
    “Your dad up and left, though with everything you’ve told me that was a good thing. Your mom did it a few years later and now Dean’s in jail, which means he’s pretty much gone too. Think about it. You’re doing this shit because you’re afraid you’re gonna wake up one day and she’ll be gone.”
    Is he right? Could that be the reason I went out after class last week to find the perfect ring? Am I really afraid that Belle’s going to be like