All That Was Happy by M.M. Wilshire Page B

banished,” Beckie said.
“And in my new exile, I’m not all that sure of myself. It’s
funny--up to now, I’ve done whatever I pleased, whenever I wanted
to do it without a thought for the consequences--now I’m afraid to
do anything for fear it will be a huge mistake.”
    “ Our time for today is almost up,”
Black said. “But there’s a few things I think we ought to
consider--I’ve heard a number of things today--one is, I’ve heard
that you ignored the wishes of your mother to adopt a compassionate
stance towards the people in your life. You also abandoned your
religion and forced Bernie to do likewise. You’ve also realized
that, deep down, you never loved Bernie. I’m going to ask you for a
moment, to think the unthinkable--to imagine reconciling with
Bernie.”
    “ I can’t,” Beckie said. “The gulf
between us is simply too enormous--not only his sins against me,
but mine against him! As of yesterday, the marriage
died.”
    “ You are both still alive,” Black said.
“Life is for the living, not for the dead. Life is for being with
the people you care about--it’s for tuning in and turning on to
what’s important. Your former basis for living has been an
unbalanced selfishness--I suggest to you that if you should ever
make up your mind to pursue a compassionate vision of life, that
all things would be possible to you. You could find it in your
heart to love Bernie if you tried. You can stop being an alien in
your own emotional life and become a lover and a
friend.”
    “ Dr. Black,” Beckie said. “This is
going to sound crazy, and maybe I shouldn’t bring it up now, but
last night I met a guy.”
    Black never blinked, but her mouth worked and
no words came out--Beckie had succeeded in shocking the doctor with
the news.
    “ That’s an earthy choice,” Black
said.
    “ He’s younger by a dozen years, and he
claims to be rich,” she said. “We’re having dinner together
tonight.”
    “ My mother always used to tell me,”
Black said, “to butter my toast at the counter before I brought it
to the table.”
    “ What’s that mean?” Beckie
said.
    “ You figure it out,” Black said. “Our
time is up for today.”
     
    Chapter
11
     
    “ What do you mean my car’s not here?”
Beckie said.
    “ It was picked up by an agency,” the
attendant said. “I’ve got a copy of the paperwork right here giving
them authority to take it.”
    “ You jerk!” Beckie said. “That car’s
worth over a hundred and fifty grand--you just let somebody drive
out of here with it?”
    Having left Black’s office and once again run
the gauntlet of well-dressed people staring at her like she was
crazy for still being in her bathrobe and clutching a tiny dog,
Beckie, upon handing her ticket to the parking attendant, was
stunned to learn that the car was gone.
    “ I don’t think you’re the one to be
arguing with me, lady,” the man said. “You being in your bathrobe,
and with the little dog, and all--it doesn’t present a good case
for your credibility. The paperwork here has a copy of the pink
slip to the car. Maybe you had a fight with your husband,
huh?”
    “ My husband,” Beckie said, “is
divorcing me--but it was my car--he gave it to me for a Christmas
present only six months ago.”
    “ You two having a little trouble?
Perhaps he got tired of making the payments.”
    “ Do you see a bank’s name on that pink
slip?”
    “ No, I guess I don’t.”
    “ Why are we standing here discussing
this? I’m freezing in this wind. I need you to call me a cab.
That’s the least you can do. And don’t expect a tip. If you don’t
hurry it up, I’m complaining to the building
management.”
    “ Complain all you want,” he said. “My
cousin owns this building--how do you think I got the job
here?”
    “ Forget the cab,” Beckie said. “Call a
limo service--get me a big one--a stretch Lincoln if they have
it--and make it white. White’s my favorite color.”
    “ You sure you got that