Juliet.
‘Steve Feast? You are so joking.’ Juliet laughed hard. ‘He’s a complete and utter knob. Always has been.’
‘He went to school with us too,’ explained Coco. ‘He was always pulling Ju’s plaits or running off with her hat so she would chase him.’
‘And he grew up to be even more puerile,’ continued Juliet, topping up the wine glasses. ‘I used to see him in pubs picking up two women at once on his shoulders to prove how
strong he was or showing off his muscles with cut-off T-shirts.’
‘He’s all right, really,’ put in Coco.
‘No he isn’t, Coco. He’s a big ponce. Always chasing women and none of them stick around very long – which tells you something.’
‘He’s been a very good friend to Guy,’ Coco added – then, from the look that Juliet threw at him, realized he shouldn’t have said that. ‘Whoops.’ He put
his fingertips to his lips.
Floz wondered what Coco had said that was so wrong, but didn’t feel as if she should ask.
Juliet pulled her focus back to the job in hand. ‘Okay. Right, you go first, Floz.’
‘Not a chance,’ Floz said. Her voice was as firm as her vocal cords would allow. ‘I don’t want to do internet dating.’
But Juliet didn’t hear her. She was on a mission now. ‘What’s your ideal man look like?’ she asked.
‘I’m really not interested—’
‘Oh please,’ said Coco, giddy as a kipper now and clapping his hands excitedly. ‘It’ll be a laugh, especially if we all do it. We’ll put your details in
first.’
‘Not interested in the slightest.’ Floz was adamant. Juliet, however, had a bit of a problem hearing the word ‘no’. She tried a different tack to persuade Floz to join
in.
‘Okay then, humour me: if you were to do this, what would he look like? I promise I won’t do anything with the information. I’m just being nosy.’
‘Promise?’
‘Promise.’
‘Okay then.’ Floz tried to think. If she painted her ideal man, Juliet would pick up on the fact that she was describing Guy. Guy who obviously hated her on sight so much that he
backed off from her like Count Dracula did from Van Helsing. So she lied and plumped for everything that was not Guy sodding Miller. ‘Not too tall, fair hair . . . brown
eyes.’
‘Dress?’
‘Suit.’
‘Job?’
‘Something in an office, I think.’
‘Oh please do it with us,’ begged Coco. ‘It will be such a laugh.’
‘No,’ said Floz, with steel in her voice. ‘But if you two are adamant, then take my advice: be very careful. Don’t pick someone too far away to meet up with, and when you
do click with someone, arrange to see them as soon as you can. You don’t want to fall for someone who doesn’t really exist as they paint themselves. Meeting them is the only way to
determine if you really fancy each other or not.’
‘Oooh, you sound as if you’re speaking from experience, Floz,’ said Juliet, eyes narrowed suspiciously.
‘No,’ returned Floz. ‘I’m speaking from much reading of magazine articles, much watching of Jeremy Kyle and good old-fashioned commonsense. Be very, very
careful.’
Floz lay in bed that night unable to get to sleep because something had awoken inside her. Feelings she had pressed down on for so long sprang up like an escapee jack-in-a-box
and wouldn’t be squashed down again. And it was all Juliet’s brother’s fault. She couldn’t understand why he had affected her so much and why it stung that he had run off
like that. How dare he make her feel that bad about herself? She careered between hurt and anger, both emotions keeping away the possibility of any sleep. She hadn’t fancied anyone in ages
– in fact, she’d wondered if she ever would again. Then in swanned Guy Miller and made her realize that her heart was more than capable of revving up interest in someone. The trouble
was, when a heart opened, vulnerability was the first thing to rush in.
The Guy Miller episode combined with the
‘Steve Feast? You are so joking.’ Juliet laughed hard. ‘He’s a complete and utter knob. Always has been.’
‘He went to school with us too,’ explained Coco. ‘He was always pulling Ju’s plaits or running off with her hat so she would chase him.’
‘And he grew up to be even more puerile,’ continued Juliet, topping up the wine glasses. ‘I used to see him in pubs picking up two women at once on his shoulders to prove how
strong he was or showing off his muscles with cut-off T-shirts.’
‘He’s all right, really,’ put in Coco.
‘No he isn’t, Coco. He’s a big ponce. Always chasing women and none of them stick around very long – which tells you something.’
‘He’s been a very good friend to Guy,’ Coco added – then, from the look that Juliet threw at him, realized he shouldn’t have said that. ‘Whoops.’ He put
his fingertips to his lips.
Floz wondered what Coco had said that was so wrong, but didn’t feel as if she should ask.
Juliet pulled her focus back to the job in hand. ‘Okay. Right, you go first, Floz.’
‘Not a chance,’ Floz said. Her voice was as firm as her vocal cords would allow. ‘I don’t want to do internet dating.’
But Juliet didn’t hear her. She was on a mission now. ‘What’s your ideal man look like?’ she asked.
‘I’m really not interested—’
‘Oh please,’ said Coco, giddy as a kipper now and clapping his hands excitedly. ‘It’ll be a laugh, especially if we all do it. We’ll put your details in
first.’
‘Not interested in the slightest.’ Floz was adamant. Juliet, however, had a bit of a problem hearing the word ‘no’. She tried a different tack to persuade Floz to join
in.
‘Okay then, humour me: if you were to do this, what would he look like? I promise I won’t do anything with the information. I’m just being nosy.’
‘Promise?’
‘Promise.’
‘Okay then.’ Floz tried to think. If she painted her ideal man, Juliet would pick up on the fact that she was describing Guy. Guy who obviously hated her on sight so much that he
backed off from her like Count Dracula did from Van Helsing. So she lied and plumped for everything that was not Guy sodding Miller. ‘Not too tall, fair hair . . . brown
eyes.’
‘Dress?’
‘Suit.’
‘Job?’
‘Something in an office, I think.’
‘Oh please do it with us,’ begged Coco. ‘It will be such a laugh.’
‘No,’ said Floz, with steel in her voice. ‘But if you two are adamant, then take my advice: be very careful. Don’t pick someone too far away to meet up with, and when you
do click with someone, arrange to see them as soon as you can. You don’t want to fall for someone who doesn’t really exist as they paint themselves. Meeting them is the only way to
determine if you really fancy each other or not.’
‘Oooh, you sound as if you’re speaking from experience, Floz,’ said Juliet, eyes narrowed suspiciously.
‘No,’ returned Floz. ‘I’m speaking from much reading of magazine articles, much watching of Jeremy Kyle and good old-fashioned commonsense. Be very, very
careful.’
Floz lay in bed that night unable to get to sleep because something had awoken inside her. Feelings she had pressed down on for so long sprang up like an escapee jack-in-a-box
and wouldn’t be squashed down again. And it was all Juliet’s brother’s fault. She couldn’t understand why he had affected her so much and why it stung that he had run off
like that. How dare he make her feel that bad about herself? She careered between hurt and anger, both emotions keeping away the possibility of any sleep. She hadn’t fancied anyone in ages
– in fact, she’d wondered if she ever would again. Then in swanned Guy Miller and made her realize that her heart was more than capable of revving up interest in someone. The trouble
was, when a heart opened, vulnerability was the first thing to rush in.
The Guy Miller episode combined with the
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