An Imperfect Librarian

An Imperfect Librarian by Elizabeth Murphy Page B

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Authors: Elizabeth Murphy
Tags: Fiction, General, FIC000000, FIC019000
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without the howling, crying, fighting and the Jesus-knows-whatever-else I suffered for too long. When the children grew up and moved out, Mrs. Henry Kelly went with them. Mister accepted a job at a library in Canada where he’s been celebrating the respite from the storm ever since.”
    â€œYou know what I think?”
    He shakes his head. “I couldn’t possibly fathom the likes of your mind, Carl.”
    I pretend to be watching the Room. “I think there’s a woman waiting for you out there.”
    He glances at me sideways.
    â€œShe’s eager, pleasing and just down the hall.”
    He abandons his usual slouch and widens his eyes. “Who?” he asks.
    I cross my legs then sit back in my chair as if the topic wasn’t really that important. “The woman of your dreams.”
    â€œWho?”
    I turn to face him. “Edith.”
    He resumes his deflated position in his chair with his hands folded over his belly. “You can inform her on my behalf that she’s wasting her precious time.”
    â€œWhy not? She’s smart, she knows tons of people, she’s–”
    He shoos me with the back of his hand. “Invite her outyourself if you’re so crazy about her,” he says.
    â€œHave you ever considered dating Edith?”
    â€œShe’s not on my radar. Besides, I’m attracted to cleavage. Hers is about as well-defined as yours.”
    I look down at my chest. “Stop that, Henry. People will start talking about us.”
    â€œThat’d be a blessing for you – give them something else to gossip about besides your conspiracy to spy on them with your databases and Bibliomining Project.”
    â€œThat’s not what I’m doing with my project. You know that.”
    He leans away from me. “Ease off. They’re the ones claiming conspiracy, not me. I don’t care if you’re conspiring. Do what you want. I’m only trying to resuscitate you.”
    I turn in my chair to face him. “What do you expect to receive in exchange?”
    â€œHalf-decent coffee. Could be better. The view. If you’d give me the binoculars. You’re my charity case, my volunteer work, my university service. We’re expected to do a certain amount. I dare say you’ve exceeded my quota.”
    I shake my head. “I’m not counting.”
    â€œYou’re not doing anything worthwhile. Francis is chasing after you. Meanwhile you’re too busy crawling on your hands and knees after your Scandinavian princess to care about anything else.”
    â€œI do care. I simply have to deal with Elsa first.”
    â€œYou don’t have time. Francis is rallying the troops. His war-cry has a distinctive anti-Brunet tone. Haven’t you heard his privacy ditty? It goes to the tune of ‘Yankee Doodle.’” Henry abandons his usual slouch. He sings the ditty with his hands on his waist, elbows pointed out to the sides. “Biblio Brunet spies on us, using a computer. Hide your files, watch your back. He’s an information looter. Or do you prefer something to the tune of ‘Camptown Races’? I always liked the Doo-da, Doo-da in thesong.” For this one, he sways side to side to mark the rhythm.
    â€œDon’t let Brunet spy on you, on you, on you. Don’t let Brunet see your files, any time of day. He’s a bumbling fool, drowning in his drool. Don’t let Brunet see your files, any time of day. What do you think, Carl?”
    â€œI think you shouldn’t joke about it.”
    â€œWhat would you know about joking?”
    â€œMy project is not proposing anything anyone has to fear.”
    â€œFrancis’ prime strategy’s making people afraid. What’s your strategy? Or are you going to watch him undermine you while you waste away after your princess? What exactly are your priorities again?”
    â€œThey’re fighting with each other, scrambling for first

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