planted squarely on my history text, scooping it up when she deigned to move.
Mel jiggled impatiently. “Eddie Fletcher asked me out!”
“Seriously?” Hannah’s gaze slid my way, and I shrugged. Maybe I should have told her. But it wasn’t the most pressing thing on my mind. My copy of Great Expectations lay splayed on the floor, and I dodged a pair of football players to get it.
Hannah jumped up and down. “That’s awesome. But… I thought you didn’t like him? Not like that, anyway.”
All around us people chattered and shrieked, lockers clanged open and shut. The individual noises blurred into one, throwing a muddy veil across everything. I swiped at my eyes, trying to clear them. Some days fighting the colors exhausted me.
Mel flushed. “I didn’t, but he kind of grew over the summer. And he’s had his braces off. It’s just one date.” It sounded like she was trying to convince herself. Still. I’d spent until nine last night listening to her list the pros and cons of going on a date with Eddie Fletcher. It was better than listening to my mom’s icy silence.
“That’s awesome,” Hannah repeated, and I heard the relief in her words.
“…we’re going to a party,” Mel was gushing. “Livvie’s going to come too.”
“I don’t think I can,” I said. “I told you that already.” Why did no one ever listen to what I said?
Mel carried on. I followed my friends down the hallway, feeling as invisible as I did at home.
The door to the art room swung open, and Bianca slipped out, whipping it shut behind her. I wondered what she’d been doing in there. Art wasn’t until after lunch. She peeked around, as if checking to see if anyone had seen her. When she caught me watching, she glared, such intensity in her blue eyes that I had to take a step back to escape the sourness that flooded my tongue. What was up with that girl? I shook my head to rid myself of the uncomfortable feeling crawling over my skin, a gritty residue left by her stare. Why could this random stranger see me when my best friends couldn’t?
“Think the freak’s been sniffing paint or something?” Mel’s voice by my ear shot pink and yellow sparks through my skull.
I laughed, but it sounded high-pitched and false even to me. “Probably.” I didn’t think you’d get much of a high from snorting the acrylics we used in Art, but some people would try anything for a fix.
“I’ll see you guys later.” Mel said as we reached her homeroom and paused by the door.
“Yeah, see you.” Hannah and I chorused, re-joining the torrent to get to our homeroom, four doors down.
“What is going on?” Hannah glared at me. “Did you tell her about Sam asking me out?”
I shook my head. “Didn’t have to. He asked us for your number.”
“Oh, shit.” Hannah’s delicate features creased as she thought, dark grooves appearing between her eyes. “Mel really likes him, doesn’t she?”
We’d reached our homeroom, and she stood by the door, people slamming into her hard enough to make her rock on her heels.
I stopped by her, trying not to get knocked to the ground by the stampede racing to get to class before the last bell rang. “Yeah. She does. But it kind of looks like he likes you.”
“Is she going to get all snippy if I go out with him?” Hannah pressed herself against the wall to let a couple of guys squeeze past. “I mean, she has a date now. She can’t get too mad about it.”
I shrugged and walked into the classroom. If I was Mel, I’d be plenty mad, date or no date. No one wants to settle for second best. But I wasn’t Mel. I didn’t even have a second choice to settle for. Or a first. I wondered if that should bother me more. Was it weird that I was more concerned about how these boys might affect our friendship than the fact no boy ever spoke to me?
The lunchroom was so crowded it took me several minutes to get to our regular table. Scanning the crowd to see if Hannah and Mel might have got there
Mel jiggled impatiently. “Eddie Fletcher asked me out!”
“Seriously?” Hannah’s gaze slid my way, and I shrugged. Maybe I should have told her. But it wasn’t the most pressing thing on my mind. My copy of Great Expectations lay splayed on the floor, and I dodged a pair of football players to get it.
Hannah jumped up and down. “That’s awesome. But… I thought you didn’t like him? Not like that, anyway.”
All around us people chattered and shrieked, lockers clanged open and shut. The individual noises blurred into one, throwing a muddy veil across everything. I swiped at my eyes, trying to clear them. Some days fighting the colors exhausted me.
Mel flushed. “I didn’t, but he kind of grew over the summer. And he’s had his braces off. It’s just one date.” It sounded like she was trying to convince herself. Still. I’d spent until nine last night listening to her list the pros and cons of going on a date with Eddie Fletcher. It was better than listening to my mom’s icy silence.
“That’s awesome,” Hannah repeated, and I heard the relief in her words.
“…we’re going to a party,” Mel was gushing. “Livvie’s going to come too.”
“I don’t think I can,” I said. “I told you that already.” Why did no one ever listen to what I said?
Mel carried on. I followed my friends down the hallway, feeling as invisible as I did at home.
The door to the art room swung open, and Bianca slipped out, whipping it shut behind her. I wondered what she’d been doing in there. Art wasn’t until after lunch. She peeked around, as if checking to see if anyone had seen her. When she caught me watching, she glared, such intensity in her blue eyes that I had to take a step back to escape the sourness that flooded my tongue. What was up with that girl? I shook my head to rid myself of the uncomfortable feeling crawling over my skin, a gritty residue left by her stare. Why could this random stranger see me when my best friends couldn’t?
“Think the freak’s been sniffing paint or something?” Mel’s voice by my ear shot pink and yellow sparks through my skull.
I laughed, but it sounded high-pitched and false even to me. “Probably.” I didn’t think you’d get much of a high from snorting the acrylics we used in Art, but some people would try anything for a fix.
“I’ll see you guys later.” Mel said as we reached her homeroom and paused by the door.
“Yeah, see you.” Hannah and I chorused, re-joining the torrent to get to our homeroom, four doors down.
“What is going on?” Hannah glared at me. “Did you tell her about Sam asking me out?”
I shook my head. “Didn’t have to. He asked us for your number.”
“Oh, shit.” Hannah’s delicate features creased as she thought, dark grooves appearing between her eyes. “Mel really likes him, doesn’t she?”
We’d reached our homeroom, and she stood by the door, people slamming into her hard enough to make her rock on her heels.
I stopped by her, trying not to get knocked to the ground by the stampede racing to get to class before the last bell rang. “Yeah. She does. But it kind of looks like he likes you.”
“Is she going to get all snippy if I go out with him?” Hannah pressed herself against the wall to let a couple of guys squeeze past. “I mean, she has a date now. She can’t get too mad about it.”
I shrugged and walked into the classroom. If I was Mel, I’d be plenty mad, date or no date. No one wants to settle for second best. But I wasn’t Mel. I didn’t even have a second choice to settle for. Or a first. I wondered if that should bother me more. Was it weird that I was more concerned about how these boys might affect our friendship than the fact no boy ever spoke to me?
The lunchroom was so crowded it took me several minutes to get to our regular table. Scanning the crowd to see if Hannah and Mel might have got there
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