Anna in Chains by Merrill Joan Gerber Page A

last time was when you fell out of the elevator and broke your elbow.”
    â€œNever mind. The chauffeur is like a son to me,” Irving called back. “Better than a son. Don’t lose your concentration, Ava—those cardsharps over there will cheat you blind if they get one chance.”
    â€œI’m ahead four dollars, already, Irving,” Ava informed him, “…and the night is young.” Each time, she pronounced his name “Oiving,” and Anna winced. The Bronx still lived in full color in Ava—nothing could winnow it out. The Bronx sat on Ava’s tongue like a wart. Anna herself was certain she had no trace of any crude accent. She tried to speak like an American descended from someone who came over on the Mayflower.
    â€œListen to this one,” Irving said. “Two old men are playing golf, but their eyes are so bad they can’t see where the ball lands. A third alta cocka comes by and says he has perfect eyesight, he’ll help them out. He’ll watch the ball for them. So one of them hits the ball and then asks, ‘So did you see where it landed?’ The alta cocka says, ‘Of course I saw, I got perfect eyesight.’ ‘So where is it?’ the golfer says. ‘I forgot,’ says the old man.”
    â€œAn Alzheimer joke! For shame!” Sadie said. “With Ida sitting right here and poor Herman upstairs, putting on his socks backwards this minute.”
    Irving’s attention was drawn away as a fire truck and an ambulance raced by, their sirens screaming. “What’s your hurry?” Irving asked, waving his hand at them in dismissal.
    Anna’s eyes had adjusted to the darkness, and she watched Irving’s bald head wobbling on his turkey neck. His ears were huge; they hung on his skull like some strange invention. Certain animals, when she saw them on nature programs, made her feel this way. They adapted to their environment without regard for polite shapes. She didn’t want to have to look at their hanging pouches or spiky chins or poison sacs. Old people, too, grew strange parts, took on camouflaging skin pigments, adopted peculiar postures and gaits. Anna hated belonging to an indelicate species.
    â€œAnother cowboy bites the dust,” Irving said as the taillights of the ambulance disappeared. “Who knows who’ll be next?”
    â€œComes an earthquake we’ll all be gone,” Anna pronounced.
    â€œHere we have hurricanes,” Irving told her. “At least get your catastrophes straight.”
    â€œA flush!” Ava said with a cry of glee, laying down her cards. She swept the pile of coins in the kitty toward her.
    â€œBelieve me, you can’t take it with you,” Irving predicted. “Slow down, Ava, enjoy the sights.”
    â€œI’m done, anyway…it’s time for us to go up,” Ava said. “ Wheel of Fortune is on in five minutes.” The four ladies pushed back their chairs and stood up. Ava tapped the cards into a neat little square and set the deck down on the table. She gathered up her big pile of quarters and dropped them in the jacket of her flowered pantsuit. She adjusted her mink.
    â€œYou ladies live by the game shows,” Irving said. “But look, right here, isn’t life the biggest game show of all?”
    â€œYou’re giving away trips to Hawaii?” Sadie asked him. “If you’re giving away free cruises, we’ll stay and watch you.”
    â€œI told you before, Sadie—you want a cruise, I’ll take you on a cruise.”
    â€œWhen I’m that desperate, I’ll let you know.”
    â€œI’m going upstairs now, Anna,” Ava said. “Come with me.
    â€œMaybe I’ll stay here a while. I could do without the Wheel of Fortune ,” Anna said.
    Ava shot her a look, the same kind of look she’d sent her when Anna had been flower girl at Ava’s wedding in 1914 and stepped on her