(“nervous breakdown experienced by some tourists on their first visit to Jerusalem; those affected believe they are the Messiah, announce the End of Days and are subject to a compulsive need to cut their fingernails”), but finally came to the conclusion that the encyclopedia was outrageously incomplete since there was not a single reference to the malady that dozens of Randalls had endured for seven generations.
By way of revenge, she shelved the encyclopedia over in the children’s books section between Puss in Boots and Alice in Wonderland , raising the prospect of a whole new generation of psychoses.
23. A FAIRLY OPTIMISTIC VIEW OF THE UNIVERSE
Every ten days, religious studies class fell right after phys. ed. The odour of incense and running shoes permeated the hushed classroom where Mr. Bérubé tried (in vain) to inculcate us with a few notions of religious culture. There was something profoundly incompatible between endorphins and theology.
Mr. Bérubé was a young teacher brimming with goodwill. He had taught algebra the year before and would be assigned to home economics the next year. That year, though, he struggled with the recurring peregrinations of a chosen people who, after surviving various enslavements, wandered in the desert and then found itself a disputed messiah, all in thirty-thousand-odd verses. Please follow the official course plan.
Standing in front of a map of Palestine, he announced that the whole class would be devoted to the book of Revelation, also known as the Apocalypse of John, which, as everyone knew, “was a book in the New Testament before becoming a source of inspiration for Iron Maiden!” The joke fell flat.
Mr. Bérubé plunged bravely into his subject. He told us about the Four Horsemen, the Number of the Beast and the Roman occupation in Palestine. Around the classroom, heads were tilted at various angles of repose. I spotted one or two yawns.
Hope, meanwhile, floated light years away from the foul-smelling classroom. She blackened the margins of her notebook with concentric circles and spirals, scribbled time and again the numbers 17 07 2001, like a ray of light glowing out of our dark era.
Mr. Bérubé eagerly shared with us a little-known fact: the Apocalypse was not merely a book in the New Testament but first and foremost a literary genre—somewhat like the detective novel or science fiction. Explanation for the academically challenged: several Apocalypses had been written and some of them could still be found scattered throughout the Bible.
“Apocalypses were written in times of crisis. It was the literature of the downtrodden, of those living in expectation of the Last Judgment, when they would be saved and the wicked punished. That is why, in the Bible, we repeatedly find announcements that the end of the world is at hand—it was a source of hope, a piece of good news. In fact, ‘apocaluptein’ in Greek means, simply, revelation. Basically, the apocalypse conveys a fairly optimistic view of the world.”
From the back of the class, a voice asked if Mad Max would belong to the category of apocalyptic works. Laughter. Mr. Bérubé ventured a cautious “if you like.” Hope rolled her eyes toward the ceiling. I yawned.
“Can someone identify another apocalyptic story found in the Bible?”
The class was overwhelmed with silence. Mr. Bérubé’s eyes swept over the troops.
“Hope, what about you?”
Hope sighed, snapped shut her ballpoint pen and folded her arms.
“The Flood.”
“Very good. Excellent! And what can you tell us about the Flood?”
“That it’s a suspicious story.”
A murmur rippled through the class.
“Suspicious?” asked Mr. Bérubé.
“Yahweh sets in motion the end of the world six pages after having created it. He must have really made a mess of things, wouldn’t you say?”
Mr. Bérubé stammered something unintelligible, like a wet “bbl,” as though he had just taken a left jab to the stomach. Everyone turned to
By way of revenge, she shelved the encyclopedia over in the children’s books section between Puss in Boots and Alice in Wonderland , raising the prospect of a whole new generation of psychoses.
23. A FAIRLY OPTIMISTIC VIEW OF THE UNIVERSE
Every ten days, religious studies class fell right after phys. ed. The odour of incense and running shoes permeated the hushed classroom where Mr. Bérubé tried (in vain) to inculcate us with a few notions of religious culture. There was something profoundly incompatible between endorphins and theology.
Mr. Bérubé was a young teacher brimming with goodwill. He had taught algebra the year before and would be assigned to home economics the next year. That year, though, he struggled with the recurring peregrinations of a chosen people who, after surviving various enslavements, wandered in the desert and then found itself a disputed messiah, all in thirty-thousand-odd verses. Please follow the official course plan.
Standing in front of a map of Palestine, he announced that the whole class would be devoted to the book of Revelation, also known as the Apocalypse of John, which, as everyone knew, “was a book in the New Testament before becoming a source of inspiration for Iron Maiden!” The joke fell flat.
Mr. Bérubé plunged bravely into his subject. He told us about the Four Horsemen, the Number of the Beast and the Roman occupation in Palestine. Around the classroom, heads were tilted at various angles of repose. I spotted one or two yawns.
Hope, meanwhile, floated light years away from the foul-smelling classroom. She blackened the margins of her notebook with concentric circles and spirals, scribbled time and again the numbers 17 07 2001, like a ray of light glowing out of our dark era.
Mr. Bérubé eagerly shared with us a little-known fact: the Apocalypse was not merely a book in the New Testament but first and foremost a literary genre—somewhat like the detective novel or science fiction. Explanation for the academically challenged: several Apocalypses had been written and some of them could still be found scattered throughout the Bible.
“Apocalypses were written in times of crisis. It was the literature of the downtrodden, of those living in expectation of the Last Judgment, when they would be saved and the wicked punished. That is why, in the Bible, we repeatedly find announcements that the end of the world is at hand—it was a source of hope, a piece of good news. In fact, ‘apocaluptein’ in Greek means, simply, revelation. Basically, the apocalypse conveys a fairly optimistic view of the world.”
From the back of the class, a voice asked if Mad Max would belong to the category of apocalyptic works. Laughter. Mr. Bérubé ventured a cautious “if you like.” Hope rolled her eyes toward the ceiling. I yawned.
“Can someone identify another apocalyptic story found in the Bible?”
The class was overwhelmed with silence. Mr. Bérubé’s eyes swept over the troops.
“Hope, what about you?”
Hope sighed, snapped shut her ballpoint pen and folded her arms.
“The Flood.”
“Very good. Excellent! And what can you tell us about the Flood?”
“That it’s a suspicious story.”
A murmur rippled through the class.
“Suspicious?” asked Mr. Bérubé.
“Yahweh sets in motion the end of the world six pages after having created it. He must have really made a mess of things, wouldn’t you say?”
Mr. Bérubé stammered something unintelligible, like a wet “bbl,” as though he had just taken a left jab to the stomach. Everyone turned to
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