pretended to be totally engrossed, but he wanted to be a holiday rep when he grew up. He scribbled down loads of notes in the back of his History book, trying to look macho but I saw through it. He was a blonde fucking dwarf. I pulled my shirt sleeves over my hands, then put down my head and had a few thoughts on the polyester. I imagined Dad flying against the wall as I unloaded a couple of rounds on him, lots of blood and guts and bang bangs.
‘I hope you’re taking notes, lad,’ Sergeant McAllister blurted out, and I flinched. I wasn’t sure if he was talking to me, but when I looked up bubbly-eyed everyone was sniggering. I shook and grabbed for my notebook, spiting the Prick because his wild scrawling made me look even worse. I flicked to the back, then stared and went shyly, ‘I need a pen.’
‘Drop and give me twenty!’ the Sarge yelled, but you could sort of tell he was joking. What a cock. I probably would’ve done it if it wasn’t for Eve in the back though.
‘Twenty what?’ she mumbled, and a few of her mates giggled. I smiled, and I still felt bleary when she offered, ‘Here, Adam, I’ve got one you can lend.’
She tossed over a silver twisty ballpoint, and I grinned icebergs as I grabbed for it, and scribbled a cartoony GI Joe with a dick on his head and a fat gut. He wouldn’t give up, though. He threw a filthy flirtatious face at Eve, and said, ‘Oh you’re such a sweetheart, aren’t you. Haw haw. Look at him; he’d never make it in the army anyway. He’s been fighting with his sister again.’
Next time he talks to me in the third person his face is going through the blackboard. I brushed him off with a little nod, but the kids were killing themselves and I could feel myself getting mental. I had to keep repeating ‘Dear Prudence’ in my head, clamping together my thumb and middle finger in the meditation stylee. I didn’t have a happy place though. My head felt messy, but Eve was clearing it up like a maid with a feather-duster, though I stopped myself from making that image too French and exotic.
‘Actually it was my dad; he beats me up all the time,’ I said in my head. I shifted in my seat, then wrote a couple of words now and then while the bastard carried on, dropping off to sleep but with eyes open. I made a vow to grow muscles, and get out of the house more. I half-smiled and held on to Eve’s pen for the rest of the morning, feeling alright. Outside, white rainbows erupted and poured out twinkling waterfalls. It was a beautiful day, and it was the only thing keeping me from topping myself. We spent dinnertime in the sun, me and the Prick chewing Astrobelts while we walked around, Burny and Donna cuddling in the canteen with the rays burning through the glass. We stepped on shadows. After a while Abi caught us up from the playground, and she gossiped and I kept fondling Eve’s pen like a little doll’s leg. Even though she was our best friend, I couldn’t help checking Abi out as we strolled about, boys always thinking about sick stuff and girls’ lumps and bumps. I remembered going out with her in Easterside Primary and having our first kiss in a tree in Stewarts Park. She was fun to be with, swishing the dark hair while she nattered about lasses from Beechwood and criminals and that. Me and the Prick laughed at everything. I was getting in a good mood, and I floated around looking for Eve. Like an angel exploding in a starburst, she was the only thing on my mind from then onwards. We saw Rachel Shannon hanging with a load of boys at the main entrance, getting hounded, and I guessed she couldn’t be far away.
‘She’s fucking mint,’ the Prick said as we dodged mud and litter, but Rachel didn’t catch it. ‘I’d do her all over.’
‘That’s my fucking cousin!’ Abi whispered, then winked as we went past the group. Funny how those two were related, Rachel being a Swedish pornstar and Abi almost spic in appearance. As we went a little further round the
‘I hope you’re taking notes, lad,’ Sergeant McAllister blurted out, and I flinched. I wasn’t sure if he was talking to me, but when I looked up bubbly-eyed everyone was sniggering. I shook and grabbed for my notebook, spiting the Prick because his wild scrawling made me look even worse. I flicked to the back, then stared and went shyly, ‘I need a pen.’
‘Drop and give me twenty!’ the Sarge yelled, but you could sort of tell he was joking. What a cock. I probably would’ve done it if it wasn’t for Eve in the back though.
‘Twenty what?’ she mumbled, and a few of her mates giggled. I smiled, and I still felt bleary when she offered, ‘Here, Adam, I’ve got one you can lend.’
She tossed over a silver twisty ballpoint, and I grinned icebergs as I grabbed for it, and scribbled a cartoony GI Joe with a dick on his head and a fat gut. He wouldn’t give up, though. He threw a filthy flirtatious face at Eve, and said, ‘Oh you’re such a sweetheart, aren’t you. Haw haw. Look at him; he’d never make it in the army anyway. He’s been fighting with his sister again.’
Next time he talks to me in the third person his face is going through the blackboard. I brushed him off with a little nod, but the kids were killing themselves and I could feel myself getting mental. I had to keep repeating ‘Dear Prudence’ in my head, clamping together my thumb and middle finger in the meditation stylee. I didn’t have a happy place though. My head felt messy, but Eve was clearing it up like a maid with a feather-duster, though I stopped myself from making that image too French and exotic.
‘Actually it was my dad; he beats me up all the time,’ I said in my head. I shifted in my seat, then wrote a couple of words now and then while the bastard carried on, dropping off to sleep but with eyes open. I made a vow to grow muscles, and get out of the house more. I half-smiled and held on to Eve’s pen for the rest of the morning, feeling alright. Outside, white rainbows erupted and poured out twinkling waterfalls. It was a beautiful day, and it was the only thing keeping me from topping myself. We spent dinnertime in the sun, me and the Prick chewing Astrobelts while we walked around, Burny and Donna cuddling in the canteen with the rays burning through the glass. We stepped on shadows. After a while Abi caught us up from the playground, and she gossiped and I kept fondling Eve’s pen like a little doll’s leg. Even though she was our best friend, I couldn’t help checking Abi out as we strolled about, boys always thinking about sick stuff and girls’ lumps and bumps. I remembered going out with her in Easterside Primary and having our first kiss in a tree in Stewarts Park. She was fun to be with, swishing the dark hair while she nattered about lasses from Beechwood and criminals and that. Me and the Prick laughed at everything. I was getting in a good mood, and I floated around looking for Eve. Like an angel exploding in a starburst, she was the only thing on my mind from then onwards. We saw Rachel Shannon hanging with a load of boys at the main entrance, getting hounded, and I guessed she couldn’t be far away.
‘She’s fucking mint,’ the Prick said as we dodged mud and litter, but Rachel didn’t catch it. ‘I’d do her all over.’
‘That’s my fucking cousin!’ Abi whispered, then winked as we went past the group. Funny how those two were related, Rachel being a Swedish pornstar and Abi almost spic in appearance. As we went a little further round the
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