Stanley once. She thought a moment, and then, as if she were afraid I would have a boyfriend before she did, she said. "You probably will never lose weight. You're afraid of having a boyfriend."
Was I?
Could such a thing be true? I wished I had someone I could ask. I was afraid to ask Mama, afraid I would make her think less of me, and I had never had any such conversation with Brenda.
Despite all the distraction and worry- that hovered about me all day. I knew I did well on the social studies quiz. I was as attentive as could be in Mr. Leshman's class as well and tried to look repentant and sorry. He had my written apology on his desk, but he said nothing more about it. The only interest any of my classmates had in my unfortunate episode was to hear how mean Dean Mannville had been to me. I could see they were disappointed in my description, and soon no one wanted to know anything more.
Brenda let me sit with her and her two teammates with whom she usually sat at lunch. Nicole Lawford and Natalie Brandon, both girls almost as tall as she was. The importance of the upcoming tame was all they talked about. They had to win to stay in contention for the league title. Their entire
conversation was about the best and the weakest server on their team and how they would try to work off one another for offense. Although it was boring to me and nowhere near as interesting as the usual locker-room gossip. I tried to look interested.
At the end of the day. I joined Brenda again in the gym and followed her to the locker room. None of the other -iris took much notice of me. I sat on a bench and watched Brenda change. Although she hadn't said anything more about Daddy, I was sure she was thinking the same thing I was: Would he appear at the game with Mama and Uncle Palaver?
I watched Brenda and her teammates limber up for the Death Match, as they called it, and then, with them. I observed the arrival of the opposing team. The girls on that team seemed bigger and older. I knew from listening to Brenda and her teammates talk that they, like our team, were undefeated. I was caught up in the excitement and for a while didn't think about Daddy at all.
The crowd of supporters for both sides began to arrive at about three-thirty, and the gym started to fill up quickly. I was nervous about finding good seats for Mama. Uncle Palaver, me, and maybe Daddy. It was hard to save that many spots in the bleachers. Finally. Mama arrived with Uncle Palaver at her side but without Daddy. My heart did a flip-flop, happy to see Uncle Palaver but so disappointed in Daddy's failure to appear.
"Look at her!" Uncle Palaver exclaimed as soon as he saw me. "You grew a foot since I saw you last."
"Did not," I said. "At least not upward.'
He laughed and hugged me. I looked carefully at Mama to scrutinize her face. She was smiling, but there was an emptiness in her eyes that chilled my spine.
"Where's Daddy?" I asked her.
"We'll see him later," she replied, and glanced quickly at Uncle Palaver, who slapped his hands together as we sat, him in between us. He rubbed his palms, and when he lifted them apart, there was a girl's wristwatch in his left palm. It had a circular face with little hearts that popped in and out.
Mama laughed.
"I'll be doggone," Uncle Palaver said. "What's this?" He plucked the watch out of his palm and held it up. "Must be yours," he said, turning to me. "Try it on." It fit tightly on my wrist, but I pretended it didn't matter.
"Thank you. Uncle Palaver," I said.
He sat back and pulled in his jaw. "I didn't give it to you. I have no idea how it got there," he said.
We heard a whistle blow. The teams were introduced. Brenda looked our way and saw Daddy wasn't there. I noticed the way her shoulders hoisted when she turned away. Anger had replaced pain and disappointment. What she was able to do, however, was place all that fury into her game. When she spiked the ball over the net, it looked as if it would drill a hole in the floor. The crowd watched
Was I?
Could such a thing be true? I wished I had someone I could ask. I was afraid to ask Mama, afraid I would make her think less of me, and I had never had any such conversation with Brenda.
Despite all the distraction and worry- that hovered about me all day. I knew I did well on the social studies quiz. I was as attentive as could be in Mr. Leshman's class as well and tried to look repentant and sorry. He had my written apology on his desk, but he said nothing more about it. The only interest any of my classmates had in my unfortunate episode was to hear how mean Dean Mannville had been to me. I could see they were disappointed in my description, and soon no one wanted to know anything more.
Brenda let me sit with her and her two teammates with whom she usually sat at lunch. Nicole Lawford and Natalie Brandon, both girls almost as tall as she was. The importance of the upcoming tame was all they talked about. They had to win to stay in contention for the league title. Their entire
conversation was about the best and the weakest server on their team and how they would try to work off one another for offense. Although it was boring to me and nowhere near as interesting as the usual locker-room gossip. I tried to look interested.
At the end of the day. I joined Brenda again in the gym and followed her to the locker room. None of the other -iris took much notice of me. I sat on a bench and watched Brenda change. Although she hadn't said anything more about Daddy, I was sure she was thinking the same thing I was: Would he appear at the game with Mama and Uncle Palaver?
I watched Brenda and her teammates limber up for the Death Match, as they called it, and then, with them. I observed the arrival of the opposing team. The girls on that team seemed bigger and older. I knew from listening to Brenda and her teammates talk that they, like our team, were undefeated. I was caught up in the excitement and for a while didn't think about Daddy at all.
The crowd of supporters for both sides began to arrive at about three-thirty, and the gym started to fill up quickly. I was nervous about finding good seats for Mama. Uncle Palaver, me, and maybe Daddy. It was hard to save that many spots in the bleachers. Finally. Mama arrived with Uncle Palaver at her side but without Daddy. My heart did a flip-flop, happy to see Uncle Palaver but so disappointed in Daddy's failure to appear.
"Look at her!" Uncle Palaver exclaimed as soon as he saw me. "You grew a foot since I saw you last."
"Did not," I said. "At least not upward.'
He laughed and hugged me. I looked carefully at Mama to scrutinize her face. She was smiling, but there was an emptiness in her eyes that chilled my spine.
"Where's Daddy?" I asked her.
"We'll see him later," she replied, and glanced quickly at Uncle Palaver, who slapped his hands together as we sat, him in between us. He rubbed his palms, and when he lifted them apart, there was a girl's wristwatch in his left palm. It had a circular face with little hearts that popped in and out.
Mama laughed.
"I'll be doggone," Uncle Palaver said. "What's this?" He plucked the watch out of his palm and held it up. "Must be yours," he said, turning to me. "Try it on." It fit tightly on my wrist, but I pretended it didn't matter.
"Thank you. Uncle Palaver," I said.
He sat back and pulled in his jaw. "I didn't give it to you. I have no idea how it got there," he said.
We heard a whistle blow. The teams were introduced. Brenda looked our way and saw Daddy wasn't there. I noticed the way her shoulders hoisted when she turned away. Anger had replaced pain and disappointment. What she was able to do, however, was place all that fury into her game. When she spiked the ball over the net, it looked as if it would drill a hole in the floor. The crowd watched
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