had nearly forgotten about inviting Aiden over on the weekend. He had planned it all out. But now…. He took a second to compose himself, then said, “It’s nothing, really. I thought you might want to catch a movie after dinner.”
Aiden looked surprised, and Sam guessed he hadn’t been very convincing. “I… ah… sure. Of course. But don’t you have to work in the morning?”
“I’ll be fine,” Sam lied. He wasn’t fine. He wasn’t at all sure what he was, but he was sure he wasn’t fine.
A
S THEY left the movie theater a few hours later, Aiden grabbed Sam around the waist and kissed him. “Come to my place tonight?”
“I shouldn’t.” Sam wanted to be with Aiden, but the Europe trip sounded like a done deal. And Aiden needed to go to Europe for his career. Besides, Sam wasn’t even sure he was ready to ask the guy to spend the night at his place. What could he possibly say about Europe? He had no right to ask Aiden to put his career on hold for something that hadn’t even started.
It’s only been two weeks.
“Something wrong? I mean, if this is about the European thing,
I….”
“It’s not that,” Sam lied. “It’s a great opportunity.” “Yeah.”
Sam glanced at his watch. “I better go. I’ve got a meeting in the morning.”
“Sure.”
“I had a great time.”
“Me too.” Aiden leaned over and kissed Sam on the lips. Sam knew kissing complicated things, but Aiden tasted so good, and Sam melted into the kiss. If Sam could only forget how attracted to Aiden he was—how much he genuinely liked Aiden—they could both move on and call it a night. Or a life, maybe, as in “it’s been great, but….”
Damn the man for being so fucking attractive! And so… nice. Sam felt like a complete asshole, running away like this, knowing that it was all about the European thing, about the possibility of Aiden leaving and Sam’s own stupid, fucked-up fear of moving on.
“You need to stop worrying, Sam, and let yourself feel sometimes,” Nick had once told him.
Nick. God, he missed Nick so much he ached. Aiden was here. Alive. Real. Why was he going home alone?
“Night, Sam.”
“Night.” Sam smiled, then headed for the nearest subway stop without looking back.
Chapter 8
Present
A
IDEN stood in front of the door to Jules and Jason’s apartment. His hands were slightly sweaty and he felt queasy. He’d been dreading this all day long not because he didn’t want to see Jules and Jason—he did—but because he’d been dreading seeing Sam again. He’d been a total shit to the man both at the party and, even worse, when they’d met in the park. He’d even tried to call Sam to apologize, but Jules said Sam and Jason had gone out to do some marketing and wouldn’t be back until later. By then Aiden was in rehearsals and unable to call. Jules promised to relay the apology to Sam.
What the fuck got into me? And what would he say to Sam—what could he say to Sam now so Sam wouldn’t think he was the world’s biggest asshole? Aiden pressed the bell and took a deep breath. He could do this. Act like an adult. Cut the hurt puppy dog bullshit.
“Hey, Aiden! Glad you could make it.” Jason opened the door to the apartment and gestured Aiden to come inside before giving him a warm hug. Aiden wondered if Jason realized how long he’d been standing there. He probably did, seeing as though he’d buzzed Aiden into the building more than five minutes before. “How’d the first rehearsal go?”
“Great.” Aiden sat down across from Jason on the couch. “The tenor’s an old friend of mine from Germany. He and I were at the same opera house for a year. David’s conducting, of course.”
“Yeah. I’m sorry he couldn’t make it for dinner. He said Alex was performing in Rome, and he wanted to be there for the dress rehearsal.” Jason smiled, then added, “He never misses a dress rehearsal or performance of Alex’s if he can help it.”
“He knows what is good for him”
Aiden looked surprised, and Sam guessed he hadn’t been very convincing. “I… ah… sure. Of course. But don’t you have to work in the morning?”
“I’ll be fine,” Sam lied. He wasn’t fine. He wasn’t at all sure what he was, but he was sure he wasn’t fine.
A
S THEY left the movie theater a few hours later, Aiden grabbed Sam around the waist and kissed him. “Come to my place tonight?”
“I shouldn’t.” Sam wanted to be with Aiden, but the Europe trip sounded like a done deal. And Aiden needed to go to Europe for his career. Besides, Sam wasn’t even sure he was ready to ask the guy to spend the night at his place. What could he possibly say about Europe? He had no right to ask Aiden to put his career on hold for something that hadn’t even started.
It’s only been two weeks.
“Something wrong? I mean, if this is about the European thing,
I….”
“It’s not that,” Sam lied. “It’s a great opportunity.” “Yeah.”
Sam glanced at his watch. “I better go. I’ve got a meeting in the morning.”
“Sure.”
“I had a great time.”
“Me too.” Aiden leaned over and kissed Sam on the lips. Sam knew kissing complicated things, but Aiden tasted so good, and Sam melted into the kiss. If Sam could only forget how attracted to Aiden he was—how much he genuinely liked Aiden—they could both move on and call it a night. Or a life, maybe, as in “it’s been great, but….”
Damn the man for being so fucking attractive! And so… nice. Sam felt like a complete asshole, running away like this, knowing that it was all about the European thing, about the possibility of Aiden leaving and Sam’s own stupid, fucked-up fear of moving on.
“You need to stop worrying, Sam, and let yourself feel sometimes,” Nick had once told him.
Nick. God, he missed Nick so much he ached. Aiden was here. Alive. Real. Why was he going home alone?
“Night, Sam.”
“Night.” Sam smiled, then headed for the nearest subway stop without looking back.
Chapter 8
Present
A
IDEN stood in front of the door to Jules and Jason’s apartment. His hands were slightly sweaty and he felt queasy. He’d been dreading this all day long not because he didn’t want to see Jules and Jason—he did—but because he’d been dreading seeing Sam again. He’d been a total shit to the man both at the party and, even worse, when they’d met in the park. He’d even tried to call Sam to apologize, but Jules said Sam and Jason had gone out to do some marketing and wouldn’t be back until later. By then Aiden was in rehearsals and unable to call. Jules promised to relay the apology to Sam.
What the fuck got into me? And what would he say to Sam—what could he say to Sam now so Sam wouldn’t think he was the world’s biggest asshole? Aiden pressed the bell and took a deep breath. He could do this. Act like an adult. Cut the hurt puppy dog bullshit.
“Hey, Aiden! Glad you could make it.” Jason opened the door to the apartment and gestured Aiden to come inside before giving him a warm hug. Aiden wondered if Jason realized how long he’d been standing there. He probably did, seeing as though he’d buzzed Aiden into the building more than five minutes before. “How’d the first rehearsal go?”
“Great.” Aiden sat down across from Jason on the couch. “The tenor’s an old friend of mine from Germany. He and I were at the same opera house for a year. David’s conducting, of course.”
“Yeah. I’m sorry he couldn’t make it for dinner. He said Alex was performing in Rome, and he wanted to be there for the dress rehearsal.” Jason smiled, then added, “He never misses a dress rehearsal or performance of Alex’s if he can help it.”
“He knows what is good for him”
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