see you again. I thought you were mad at me for snooping or something, and it hurt.” Ro laughed at how ridiculous he sounded, like a kid instead of a man.
“It’s all right. I just haven’t had anyone tell me that and I thought you were just babbling anyway.”
But Ro could tell Conner was disappointed.
“I wasn’t mad at you, either,” Conner continued. “I mean, seeing that stuff, yeah it bothered me, but not because I was mad at you. I didn’t want you looking at those articles and pitying me. The fact is, except for my death, I had a really good life.”
Ro arched a brow at Conner. “Well, I would think that the death part would never be good. I didn’t enjoy it.” He barely repressed a shudder. “I felt like every nerve ending in my body was throbbing with agony, then it just quit, and you were there, and I died.”
Conner tipped his chin and began caressing Ro’s butt again. “Yeah, but it took me several hours to die, Ro. I’m not saying it was less painful for you, but the time it was dragged out—I don’t like thinking about that, or remembering when Laine found me. That was even worse almost than being carved up. My life until then was good, though. I wish I’d been brave enough to come out, but I wasn’t, and if I had been, I would have lost Laine sooner, or never even had him.”
“Why did you stay away from me then?” Ro asked.
“Because I was ashamed. I thought, here’s this man I’ve watched grow from a cute, awkward teenager into this sexy, sleek guy.” Conner smiled a little, one side of his mouth tipping higher than the other. “I tried not to think about you, but for the first time in ages, I got hard. I wanted you, but what was the point to that?” Conner shrugged. “Looking at the picture of me you had, there was just a lot of things that hit me. Then your mother passed away, and she went right up. I knew I didn’t want to go where she went. I wasn’t—” Conner stopped, took a deep breath then let it go. “I’m not ready to go anywhere. I want to be right here, watching over my friends, the people I love, even if it hurts to see them growing old, to know they’ll die and I may not ever see them again then.”
Conner brought one hand up to cup Ro’s chin. “And it hurt like a mother to find you being fucked by some guy in the alley.”
Ro had thought he’d felt like a slut before, but hearing that Conner had seen him letting JD use him was absolutely mortifying. He squirmed and tried to wiggle free. Ro wished he knew how to make himself disappear. Surely spirits could do that. All he wanted was to hide away, like in a closet or attic somewhere.
“Fuck!” he yelped as he went from looking at Conner’s neck and chin to total darkness. “Fuck, what’d I do?” Don’t panic, don’t panic! I’m a damn ghost, spirit—whatever! What could possibly hurt me now?
Despite that logic, Ro was in full freak-out mode seconds later. He couldn’t see, everything was black, so black his eyeballs ached from straining to pick out even a hint of where he was. The air was hot around him, and, even though he knew intellectually that he couldn’t suffocate, his body—corporeal or not—hadn’t got the memo.
Ro kicked and slapped at the darkness. He thought he touched something but it wasn’t firm enough to give resistance so he figured he was imagining it. He tried to yell, but fear clawed at his throat, then bands of steel were around his waist and the scream tore free—but it didn’t make a sound.
Chapter Eight
“It’s just me, Ro, it’s just me,” Conner said quietly into Ro’s ear as he kissed the curve of it. “Ro, it’s okay.”
“Can’t breathe,” Ro rasped out.
Conner started to argue that but decided it’d just be quicker to remove them from the small enclosure. When Ro had popped away from him, Conner had been astounded. It’d taken him a while to learn that trick. Then it dawned on him that Ro probably didn’t know that
“It’s all right. I just haven’t had anyone tell me that and I thought you were just babbling anyway.”
But Ro could tell Conner was disappointed.
“I wasn’t mad at you, either,” Conner continued. “I mean, seeing that stuff, yeah it bothered me, but not because I was mad at you. I didn’t want you looking at those articles and pitying me. The fact is, except for my death, I had a really good life.”
Ro arched a brow at Conner. “Well, I would think that the death part would never be good. I didn’t enjoy it.” He barely repressed a shudder. “I felt like every nerve ending in my body was throbbing with agony, then it just quit, and you were there, and I died.”
Conner tipped his chin and began caressing Ro’s butt again. “Yeah, but it took me several hours to die, Ro. I’m not saying it was less painful for you, but the time it was dragged out—I don’t like thinking about that, or remembering when Laine found me. That was even worse almost than being carved up. My life until then was good, though. I wish I’d been brave enough to come out, but I wasn’t, and if I had been, I would have lost Laine sooner, or never even had him.”
“Why did you stay away from me then?” Ro asked.
“Because I was ashamed. I thought, here’s this man I’ve watched grow from a cute, awkward teenager into this sexy, sleek guy.” Conner smiled a little, one side of his mouth tipping higher than the other. “I tried not to think about you, but for the first time in ages, I got hard. I wanted you, but what was the point to that?” Conner shrugged. “Looking at the picture of me you had, there was just a lot of things that hit me. Then your mother passed away, and she went right up. I knew I didn’t want to go where she went. I wasn’t—” Conner stopped, took a deep breath then let it go. “I’m not ready to go anywhere. I want to be right here, watching over my friends, the people I love, even if it hurts to see them growing old, to know they’ll die and I may not ever see them again then.”
Conner brought one hand up to cup Ro’s chin. “And it hurt like a mother to find you being fucked by some guy in the alley.”
Ro had thought he’d felt like a slut before, but hearing that Conner had seen him letting JD use him was absolutely mortifying. He squirmed and tried to wiggle free. Ro wished he knew how to make himself disappear. Surely spirits could do that. All he wanted was to hide away, like in a closet or attic somewhere.
“Fuck!” he yelped as he went from looking at Conner’s neck and chin to total darkness. “Fuck, what’d I do?” Don’t panic, don’t panic! I’m a damn ghost, spirit—whatever! What could possibly hurt me now?
Despite that logic, Ro was in full freak-out mode seconds later. He couldn’t see, everything was black, so black his eyeballs ached from straining to pick out even a hint of where he was. The air was hot around him, and, even though he knew intellectually that he couldn’t suffocate, his body—corporeal or not—hadn’t got the memo.
Ro kicked and slapped at the darkness. He thought he touched something but it wasn’t firm enough to give resistance so he figured he was imagining it. He tried to yell, but fear clawed at his throat, then bands of steel were around his waist and the scream tore free—but it didn’t make a sound.
Chapter Eight
“It’s just me, Ro, it’s just me,” Conner said quietly into Ro’s ear as he kissed the curve of it. “Ro, it’s okay.”
“Can’t breathe,” Ro rasped out.
Conner started to argue that but decided it’d just be quicker to remove them from the small enclosure. When Ro had popped away from him, Conner had been astounded. It’d taken him a while to learn that trick. Then it dawned on him that Ro probably didn’t know that
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