Scott, I have my pride. That I hope you will understand. Understand too that I love your daughter, however much that fact may ail you, and wish nothing but the best for her. I aim to return from my travels a rich man and with my fortune give Caroline the life she deserves. A life, I’m sure, you would wish for her.”
He was nodding, though the purse of his lips betrayed his utter contempt for the notion.
“And?”
“I give you my word I will not return to these shores until I am a rich man.”
“I see.”
“And I give you my word I will not tell Caroline that you attempted to buy her back.”
He darkened. “I see.”
“I ask only to be given the opportunity to make my fortune—to provide for Caroline in the manner to which she has become accustomed.”
“You will still be her husband—it is not what I wanted.”
“You think me a good-for-nothing, not fit to be her husband. I hope to prove you wrong. While I am away you will no doubt see more of Caroline. Perhaps if your hatred of me runs so deeply you might use the opportunity to poison her against me. The point is, you would have ample opportunity. Moreover, I might die while at sea, in which case she is returned to you forever, a young widow, still at an eligible age. That is my deal. In return I ask only that you allow me to try and make something of myself, unhindered.”
He nodded, considering the idea, perhaps savouring the thought of my dying while at sea.
T WELVE
Dylan Wallace assigned me to the crew of the
Emperor
, docked in Bristol harbour and leaving in two days. I returned home and told my mother, father and Caroline.
There were tears, of course, and recriminations and pleas to stay, but I was firm in my resolve. After I had broken my news, Caroline, distraught, left. She needed time to think, she said, and we stood in the yard and watched her gallop away—to her family, where, at least she would give the news to Emmett Scott, who would know I was fulfilling my part of the deal. I could only hope—or, should I say, I hoped at the time—that he would fulfil his part of the deal also.
Sitting here talking to you now, all these years later, it has to be said that I don’t know whether he did. But I will. Shortly, I will, and there will be a day of reckoning . . .
But not then. Then, I was young, stupid, arrogant and boastful. I was so boastful that once Caroline was away, I took to the taverns again, and perhaps found that some of my old liveliness had returned, as I took great delight in telling all who would listen that I was to sail away; that Mr. and Mrs. Edward Kenway would soon be a rich couple thanks to my endeavours on the high seas. I boasted about it, in fact. I took great delight in their sneering looks, their rejoinders, either that I was too big for my boots, or that I did not have enough character for the task; that I would soon return with my tail between my legs; that I was letting down my father.
Not once did I let my grin slip. My knowing grin that said, “You’ll see.”
But even with the booze inside me and my departure a day or so away—or maybe even
because
of those things—I still took their words to heart. I asked myself,
Do I really have enough of a man inside me to survive the life of a privateer? Am I going to return with my tail between my legs?
And yes, I might die.
Also, they were right: I was letting my father down. I’d seen the disappointment in his eyes the moment I delivered the news and it had remained there since. It was a sadness, perhaps that his dream of running the farm together—fading as it must have been—had finally been dashed for good. I was not just leaving to embrace a new life but wholeheartedly rejecting my old one. The life he had built for himself, my mother and me. I was rejecting it. I’d decided I was too good for it.
Perhaps I never gave enough thought to the effect that all of this might have on Caroline’s relationship with my mother and father, but looking back
He was nodding, though the purse of his lips betrayed his utter contempt for the notion.
“And?”
“I give you my word I will not return to these shores until I am a rich man.”
“I see.”
“And I give you my word I will not tell Caroline that you attempted to buy her back.”
He darkened. “I see.”
“I ask only to be given the opportunity to make my fortune—to provide for Caroline in the manner to which she has become accustomed.”
“You will still be her husband—it is not what I wanted.”
“You think me a good-for-nothing, not fit to be her husband. I hope to prove you wrong. While I am away you will no doubt see more of Caroline. Perhaps if your hatred of me runs so deeply you might use the opportunity to poison her against me. The point is, you would have ample opportunity. Moreover, I might die while at sea, in which case she is returned to you forever, a young widow, still at an eligible age. That is my deal. In return I ask only that you allow me to try and make something of myself, unhindered.”
He nodded, considering the idea, perhaps savouring the thought of my dying while at sea.
T WELVE
Dylan Wallace assigned me to the crew of the
Emperor
, docked in Bristol harbour and leaving in two days. I returned home and told my mother, father and Caroline.
There were tears, of course, and recriminations and pleas to stay, but I was firm in my resolve. After I had broken my news, Caroline, distraught, left. She needed time to think, she said, and we stood in the yard and watched her gallop away—to her family, where, at least she would give the news to Emmett Scott, who would know I was fulfilling my part of the deal. I could only hope—or, should I say, I hoped at the time—that he would fulfil his part of the deal also.
Sitting here talking to you now, all these years later, it has to be said that I don’t know whether he did. But I will. Shortly, I will, and there will be a day of reckoning . . .
But not then. Then, I was young, stupid, arrogant and boastful. I was so boastful that once Caroline was away, I took to the taverns again, and perhaps found that some of my old liveliness had returned, as I took great delight in telling all who would listen that I was to sail away; that Mr. and Mrs. Edward Kenway would soon be a rich couple thanks to my endeavours on the high seas. I boasted about it, in fact. I took great delight in their sneering looks, their rejoinders, either that I was too big for my boots, or that I did not have enough character for the task; that I would soon return with my tail between my legs; that I was letting down my father.
Not once did I let my grin slip. My knowing grin that said, “You’ll see.”
But even with the booze inside me and my departure a day or so away—or maybe even
because
of those things—I still took their words to heart. I asked myself,
Do I really have enough of a man inside me to survive the life of a privateer? Am I going to return with my tail between my legs?
And yes, I might die.
Also, they were right: I was letting my father down. I’d seen the disappointment in his eyes the moment I delivered the news and it had remained there since. It was a sadness, perhaps that his dream of running the farm together—fading as it must have been—had finally been dashed for good. I was not just leaving to embrace a new life but wholeheartedly rejecting my old one. The life he had built for himself, my mother and me. I was rejecting it. I’d decided I was too good for it.
Perhaps I never gave enough thought to the effect that all of this might have on Caroline’s relationship with my mother and father, but looking back
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