At Least He's Not On Fire: A Tour of the Things That Escape My Head by Chris Philbrook Page A
Authors: Chris Philbrook
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splash had hit me in the legs. I panicked for a second, wondering if this shit was contagious. I took another deep breath and chilled myself out. Couldn’t worry too much about it right then. I racked up another shell in the shotgun, noticed the startling amount of people looking at me with shocked expressions, and walked back to my cart. You know there were at least ten guys in the parking lot at that moment with a gun just like me. Why didn’t they do anything? Was I the only one with balls? I suspect I have just watched too many horror movies.
The crowds parted like I was mother-fucking Moses and they were the Red Sea. I’m a big dude, and frequently people see me and my tattoos and I get a wide berth anyway, but this was an adult-strength wide berth. 20 feet solid. That kinda felt good. I was getting a hardcore adrenaline rush the whole time and I’m not gonna lie, it felt kind of good.
I scooped my groceries into the trunk of my car, topping it off. I grabbed the box of shotgun shells from the passenger seat of my car, loaded a replacement shell in for the one I just shot, and got in the car.
Next stop: Friends and family.
See you soon Mr. Journal.
-Adrian
Hell Hole
I wrote Hell Hole as a submission to military horror anthology in early 2013. To be frank, I waited way too long to get started on it, and put in half the effort in half the time I should've. I wasn't surprised in the least that it was rejected by the publisher, and in a way, I was relieved. The publisher gave me honest criticism of the piece too, which I'm still thankful for. It really does help to be told what you're doing wrong.
This verson of Hell Hole saw significantly more editing and writing time. I've added over a thousand words to make it cleaner, and a little scarier, and I think now it would've had a chance to make the cut into that anthology. It's not my favorite piece by a long shot, but I'm happy to share it with you here so it at least sees the light of day somehow.
Enjoy.
Everything changed when that hole was found in the ground. At first people thought the world would end when nuclear missiles were shot across the big blue sky by the Russians, or the Americans. Didn't matter who shot first really. Han or Greedo, everyone would pay the price. Then they thought it would all come crashing down when the terrorists launched some kind of biological weapons attack. For a little while people thought the world would implode due to political strife, and economic failure, but in the end it all came down to a goddamn hole in the ground.
At first the media and the scientists tried to keep all the names straight, right next to all the ugly details, but that was abandoned when the cities started to collapse into the earth below. There's just too much to do when skyscrapers are getting tipped over. Warrant Officer 2 Anton Michaels was there when that first hole was found. He saw what came from the bottom. What churned underneath.
It happened about ten years ago, but no one gave a shit about calendars anymore. Well, the military did, and it seemed like everyone was either in the military, or working for the military now, so maybe people did give a shit about calendars.
Anton was a fresh Special Forces 18B at the time, straight from the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, his M4A1 in hand and attached to the 1 st Special Forces Group. They were on an in-country training operation working with native Indonesian forces. With the Al-Qaeda activity in the island nation at an all time high, his group had been deployed for half a year every year for a very long time. Building the locals up to take down their internal threat was a high priority. Anton was overwhelmed by the heat and crushing humidity (it wasn't like this on the Peninsula), but seeing the deep jungle and bright blue ocean of the pacific islands was a true treat he relished. So what if he had bugs biting his balls, and more skin that was rash than not? He'd heal. He always did.
That time
The crowds parted like I was mother-fucking Moses and they were the Red Sea. I’m a big dude, and frequently people see me and my tattoos and I get a wide berth anyway, but this was an adult-strength wide berth. 20 feet solid. That kinda felt good. I was getting a hardcore adrenaline rush the whole time and I’m not gonna lie, it felt kind of good.
I scooped my groceries into the trunk of my car, topping it off. I grabbed the box of shotgun shells from the passenger seat of my car, loaded a replacement shell in for the one I just shot, and got in the car.
Next stop: Friends and family.
See you soon Mr. Journal.
-Adrian
Hell Hole
I wrote Hell Hole as a submission to military horror anthology in early 2013. To be frank, I waited way too long to get started on it, and put in half the effort in half the time I should've. I wasn't surprised in the least that it was rejected by the publisher, and in a way, I was relieved. The publisher gave me honest criticism of the piece too, which I'm still thankful for. It really does help to be told what you're doing wrong.
This verson of Hell Hole saw significantly more editing and writing time. I've added over a thousand words to make it cleaner, and a little scarier, and I think now it would've had a chance to make the cut into that anthology. It's not my favorite piece by a long shot, but I'm happy to share it with you here so it at least sees the light of day somehow.
Enjoy.
Everything changed when that hole was found in the ground. At first people thought the world would end when nuclear missiles were shot across the big blue sky by the Russians, or the Americans. Didn't matter who shot first really. Han or Greedo, everyone would pay the price. Then they thought it would all come crashing down when the terrorists launched some kind of biological weapons attack. For a little while people thought the world would implode due to political strife, and economic failure, but in the end it all came down to a goddamn hole in the ground.
At first the media and the scientists tried to keep all the names straight, right next to all the ugly details, but that was abandoned when the cities started to collapse into the earth below. There's just too much to do when skyscrapers are getting tipped over. Warrant Officer 2 Anton Michaels was there when that first hole was found. He saw what came from the bottom. What churned underneath.
It happened about ten years ago, but no one gave a shit about calendars anymore. Well, the military did, and it seemed like everyone was either in the military, or working for the military now, so maybe people did give a shit about calendars.
Anton was a fresh Special Forces 18B at the time, straight from the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, his M4A1 in hand and attached to the 1 st Special Forces Group. They were on an in-country training operation working with native Indonesian forces. With the Al-Qaeda activity in the island nation at an all time high, his group had been deployed for half a year every year for a very long time. Building the locals up to take down their internal threat was a high priority. Anton was overwhelmed by the heat and crushing humidity (it wasn't like this on the Peninsula), but seeing the deep jungle and bright blue ocean of the pacific islands was a true treat he relished. So what if he had bugs biting his balls, and more skin that was rash than not? He'd heal. He always did.
That time
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