said kindly. In his hand he held the pliers, and in between them the ‘splinter’ which had been the cause of all the trouble, and which was, in reality, a twig the size of my forefinger.
“Thank you, Aurelius,” sniffled Barry, attempting in vain to stop the tears and at least pretend to have been brave about the whole thing.
“No problem at all, Barry,” the Fernator assured him. “No problem at all, although I’ve told you before that you really should be wearing shoes to walk around the forest in - its full of all manner of glass and animal traps and various other enemies of bare feet, who knows what might end up with in your foot next time?”
“I know, I know. It’s just that it’s not easy to find decent footwear when you have size twenty-seven feet. The last pair of shoes I got made them look all big and clumpy.”
I quietly wondered to myself, as you are no doubt wondering now, how somebody with a shoe size of twenty-seven could avoid making their feet look clumpy, but I was still far too frightened of the enormous creature to have voiced such a question aloud.
“Never mind. I’d like you to meet a very special friend of mine, Barry,” Aurelius said, turning to face me, “this is Charlie.”
“Hello,” said the enormous, man-like creature. “Sorry if I scared you.”
“Oh, don’t worry, I wasn’t very scared,” I lied.
“Oh, I thought you might have been,” he replied, sounding disappointed.
“Sorry,” I ventured, not really knowing what to say now that my lie of politeness had unexplainably backfired on me.
“No, it’s okay,” he replied. “I didn’t really want to scare you, it’s just that, I kind of always feel like I should be scaring people, you know, that is what ogre’s are supposed to do after all.”
“Are you really an ogre?”
“Well of course I’m really an ogre,” came the curt reply. “How rude of you. I mean, I know I’m a little short, but I’m still an ogre. You’re not very tall either you know, but I suppose you still consider yourself a human?”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to question... I was a bit scared, you know” I reassured him, trying to back-peddle my way of yet another accidental insult.
“Really?” he asked. “You’re not just saying that?”
“Oh no. And I wasn’t the only one either, I mean all the little rabbits and squirrels were running for their lives when you arrived, they were positively terrified.”
“I know,” Barry replied ruefully. “I don’t mean them any harm though. I love animals. I just wish they could understand that, but all they can see is the big, lumbering oaf who’s destroying the plants and trees they like to shelter under.”
I didn’t know what to say. Every time I tried to pay Barry a compliment I somehow managed to upset him further. I couldn’t help but be surprised at how different he was from my existing impression of what an ogre should be. Not only was his appearance really quite normal, if a little over-sized, but he was also incredibly self-conscious, and not at all like the untamed, savage beasts that the fairytales I had been read had portrayed ogres to be. I was immensely grateful when Aurelius interrupted the awkward silence that hung between us.
“Anyway, Barry, we really must be getting on, so if there’s nothing else you were needing me for...”
“Actually, there was something,” Barry interrupted.
“Go on,” said Aurelius, rolling his eyes.
“I was just wondering if you’d spoken to Rain yet? It’s just that she was asking after you earlier on. She said she needed to speak with you, it seemed kind of urgent.”
“Well, thank you for the information, Barry. I haven’t seen her yet, but I shall keep my eyes peeled and my ears open and I’m sure that we shall come across one another sooner or later. Now, if you’ll kindly excuse us, we really must be off to fetch some supper.”
A few minutes later we reached a small clearing in the Forest surrounded
“Thank you, Aurelius,” sniffled Barry, attempting in vain to stop the tears and at least pretend to have been brave about the whole thing.
“No problem at all, Barry,” the Fernator assured him. “No problem at all, although I’ve told you before that you really should be wearing shoes to walk around the forest in - its full of all manner of glass and animal traps and various other enemies of bare feet, who knows what might end up with in your foot next time?”
“I know, I know. It’s just that it’s not easy to find decent footwear when you have size twenty-seven feet. The last pair of shoes I got made them look all big and clumpy.”
I quietly wondered to myself, as you are no doubt wondering now, how somebody with a shoe size of twenty-seven could avoid making their feet look clumpy, but I was still far too frightened of the enormous creature to have voiced such a question aloud.
“Never mind. I’d like you to meet a very special friend of mine, Barry,” Aurelius said, turning to face me, “this is Charlie.”
“Hello,” said the enormous, man-like creature. “Sorry if I scared you.”
“Oh, don’t worry, I wasn’t very scared,” I lied.
“Oh, I thought you might have been,” he replied, sounding disappointed.
“Sorry,” I ventured, not really knowing what to say now that my lie of politeness had unexplainably backfired on me.
“No, it’s okay,” he replied. “I didn’t really want to scare you, it’s just that, I kind of always feel like I should be scaring people, you know, that is what ogre’s are supposed to do after all.”
“Are you really an ogre?”
“Well of course I’m really an ogre,” came the curt reply. “How rude of you. I mean, I know I’m a little short, but I’m still an ogre. You’re not very tall either you know, but I suppose you still consider yourself a human?”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to question... I was a bit scared, you know” I reassured him, trying to back-peddle my way of yet another accidental insult.
“Really?” he asked. “You’re not just saying that?”
“Oh no. And I wasn’t the only one either, I mean all the little rabbits and squirrels were running for their lives when you arrived, they were positively terrified.”
“I know,” Barry replied ruefully. “I don’t mean them any harm though. I love animals. I just wish they could understand that, but all they can see is the big, lumbering oaf who’s destroying the plants and trees they like to shelter under.”
I didn’t know what to say. Every time I tried to pay Barry a compliment I somehow managed to upset him further. I couldn’t help but be surprised at how different he was from my existing impression of what an ogre should be. Not only was his appearance really quite normal, if a little over-sized, but he was also incredibly self-conscious, and not at all like the untamed, savage beasts that the fairytales I had been read had portrayed ogres to be. I was immensely grateful when Aurelius interrupted the awkward silence that hung between us.
“Anyway, Barry, we really must be getting on, so if there’s nothing else you were needing me for...”
“Actually, there was something,” Barry interrupted.
“Go on,” said Aurelius, rolling his eyes.
“I was just wondering if you’d spoken to Rain yet? It’s just that she was asking after you earlier on. She said she needed to speak with you, it seemed kind of urgent.”
“Well, thank you for the information, Barry. I haven’t seen her yet, but I shall keep my eyes peeled and my ears open and I’m sure that we shall come across one another sooner or later. Now, if you’ll kindly excuse us, we really must be off to fetch some supper.”
A few minutes later we reached a small clearing in the Forest surrounded
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