to voice such
raw emotions, I attempt a smile. “Thanks, Heather. I know you’re right—but I also
know, I don’t know what I want.”
“The first step is to stop trying to control every interaction and just be yourself
for a change.”
I nod. I’m too afraid to speak and reveal more than I’d like. And what if I do as
Heather suggests and the man still walks out on me? The devastation almost killed
my mother. Would I survive such a loss any better?
Movement out of the corner of my eye catches my attention. A familiar pair of shoulders
and bright blue shirt slides between people. Is that Andy? He wraps an arm around
the torso of the striking brunette at his side. He leans in to place a brief kiss
on her cheek, a soft smile curving his mouth.
Blood turns to ice in my veins as I watch the couple walk out. He gives her a big
hug and opens the door to her dusty sedan parked in front of the restaurant. He strolls
away as my lungs remember how to work and I suck in a sharp breath.
“What’s wrong?” Heather asks. “You’ve got the meanest look on your face.”
Cold settles over me as I lock down the growing interest I had in my heart for the
rat bastard. Guess what we had was just sex for him. I thought what we shared last
night was different. Did he spend the day in her bed when I refused to go back to
his place after the bar? Disappoint swells inside and I scrunch it down, refusing
to acknowledge the feeling. “Nothing.” I force a brittle smile onto my face. “Nothing
at all.”
By the time I get back to my apartment I’m numb. I can’t believe I almost let Heather
talk me into thinking this “thing” with Andy could be something more. I never would
have pegged the quiet unassuming man as the type to have multiple women on the line,
but then again, I also thought he’d be a boring lover, so what the hell do I know?
I can’t decide which hurts more, being right or wishing I was wrong.
My phone rings. I glance at the display, it’s my mom. “Crap.” Today is her actual
birthday and I forgot to call. Might as well get the painful conversation over with
as soon as possible.
I swipe the unlock on the tiny screen and click answer. “Happy Birthday, Mom.”
“Hmmph. Not so happy when I had to call you . Did you forget?”
“No, Mom,” I quickly lie. “I was working late and just got home.”
“I heard from your sister.”
“Good,” I try to steer the topic onto something brighter, which in this case is my
little sister. “How’s Julie doing? Did you see her this week?”
“No, she’s traveling with work. Said she’d come up this weekend. But she and her rich
boyfriend did send me a nice flower arrangement.” She snorts. “Julie never had any
taste so I’m guessing the hot-shot property developer picked them out.”
“That’s nice.” Geez, what is with this woman that every nice gesture is turned into
something bad with her retelling it?
“Want to place bets on how long their relationship lasts? I’m betting another month,
tops.”
“Mom! That’s pretty cold. She’s in love. Can’t you just let it go and be happy for
her?”
Another miserable grunt greets me over the line. “Love doesn’t last. You just wait
and see.”
The burning pain inside me at seeing Andy with that woman at the restaurant makes
me hold my tongue. I want desperately to argue with her, to make her see how negative
she’s being, but a big part of me fears she’s right, so I keep quiet. Thankfully I
only have to listen to her for a few more minutes and then we hang up.
Facing Andy at work tomorrow is not going to be easy. Wish I had some dumb stud in
bed to distract me. Maybe I’d even call in sick or take a mental health day and go
shopping. With inspiration hitting me, I call the guy I went to dinner with last night, before I saw Andy. Sure, he might have been a little boring, but he won’t break my heart.
“Hey, Brian.
raw emotions, I attempt a smile. “Thanks, Heather. I know you’re right—but I also
know, I don’t know what I want.”
“The first step is to stop trying to control every interaction and just be yourself
for a change.”
I nod. I’m too afraid to speak and reveal more than I’d like. And what if I do as
Heather suggests and the man still walks out on me? The devastation almost killed
my mother. Would I survive such a loss any better?
Movement out of the corner of my eye catches my attention. A familiar pair of shoulders
and bright blue shirt slides between people. Is that Andy? He wraps an arm around
the torso of the striking brunette at his side. He leans in to place a brief kiss
on her cheek, a soft smile curving his mouth.
Blood turns to ice in my veins as I watch the couple walk out. He gives her a big
hug and opens the door to her dusty sedan parked in front of the restaurant. He strolls
away as my lungs remember how to work and I suck in a sharp breath.
“What’s wrong?” Heather asks. “You’ve got the meanest look on your face.”
Cold settles over me as I lock down the growing interest I had in my heart for the
rat bastard. Guess what we had was just sex for him. I thought what we shared last
night was different. Did he spend the day in her bed when I refused to go back to
his place after the bar? Disappoint swells inside and I scrunch it down, refusing
to acknowledge the feeling. “Nothing.” I force a brittle smile onto my face. “Nothing
at all.”
By the time I get back to my apartment I’m numb. I can’t believe I almost let Heather
talk me into thinking this “thing” with Andy could be something more. I never would
have pegged the quiet unassuming man as the type to have multiple women on the line,
but then again, I also thought he’d be a boring lover, so what the hell do I know?
I can’t decide which hurts more, being right or wishing I was wrong.
My phone rings. I glance at the display, it’s my mom. “Crap.” Today is her actual
birthday and I forgot to call. Might as well get the painful conversation over with
as soon as possible.
I swipe the unlock on the tiny screen and click answer. “Happy Birthday, Mom.”
“Hmmph. Not so happy when I had to call you . Did you forget?”
“No, Mom,” I quickly lie. “I was working late and just got home.”
“I heard from your sister.”
“Good,” I try to steer the topic onto something brighter, which in this case is my
little sister. “How’s Julie doing? Did you see her this week?”
“No, she’s traveling with work. Said she’d come up this weekend. But she and her rich
boyfriend did send me a nice flower arrangement.” She snorts. “Julie never had any
taste so I’m guessing the hot-shot property developer picked them out.”
“That’s nice.” Geez, what is with this woman that every nice gesture is turned into
something bad with her retelling it?
“Want to place bets on how long their relationship lasts? I’m betting another month,
tops.”
“Mom! That’s pretty cold. She’s in love. Can’t you just let it go and be happy for
her?”
Another miserable grunt greets me over the line. “Love doesn’t last. You just wait
and see.”
The burning pain inside me at seeing Andy with that woman at the restaurant makes
me hold my tongue. I want desperately to argue with her, to make her see how negative
she’s being, but a big part of me fears she’s right, so I keep quiet. Thankfully I
only have to listen to her for a few more minutes and then we hang up.
Facing Andy at work tomorrow is not going to be easy. Wish I had some dumb stud in
bed to distract me. Maybe I’d even call in sick or take a mental health day and go
shopping. With inspiration hitting me, I call the guy I went to dinner with last night, before I saw Andy. Sure, he might have been a little boring, but he won’t break my heart.
“Hey, Brian.
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