Baby on the Way by Lois Richer Page B

and his friend had built up from scratch.
    Caitlin listened as he described a satellite system that would monitor vast areas of the mountainous terrainenabling park rangers to uncover potential forest fires and tourists lost in remote terrain, in record time.
    After several minutes, she was lost in the intricacies of engineering such complex equipment. She sat, dreamy eyed, content to let him ramble on, basking in the warm pungent aromas of garlic, tangy tomato sauce, baking cheese and yeasty bread sticks.
    It was several seconds before she realized Jordan had stopped speaking. Instead he was peering at her with a look of concern on his face.
    “Are you okay?” His voice was soft. “Having more of those hiccup things?”
    Caitlin smiled. “No, I’m fine. And they’re Braxton-Hicks contractions, not hiccups.”
    She waved a hand at the groups of families scattered through the busy restaurant, their happy chatter a hum of noise in the bustling restaurant.
    “I was just thinking of a girl I’ve been counseling. She would give almost anything to be here, with her father, having dinner.” Caitlin fingered the water glass on her place mat. “Actually, Addie reminds me a little of myself at her age,” she admitted.
    Jordan grinned. “Oh? She’s stubborn, too?”
    “No. It’s because she’s an oddball. Like me.”
    His gold-flecked eyes studied her seriously. “Caitlin, you are not an oddball.”
    “Yes, I am. Or at least I was. I never fit into the high school cliques. Now I just plain don’t fit into anything.” She giggled at the silly joke, pushing a length of her hair behind her ear as she eyed her bulging tummy, but Jordan didn’t laugh.
    Her brow furrowed in concentration as she chewed on her bottom lip, striving to clarify her meaning. “I was different, you see. And nobody had to tell me that. It was something I knew. I didn’t have a family like the other kids, I was just staying with my aunt because there wasn’t anybody else who wanted me. After school, when the others dumped their homework and went out for a shake, I toddled off to my job.”
    “Lots of kids have jobs, Caitlin.” Jordan countered.
    “Yes, they do,” she agreed. “And many enjoy them. That’s not what I mean.”
    He shrugged. “I don’t get it.”
    “Not every kid feels they have to contribute something or they’ll lose their home, Jordan.” Caitlin shrugged avoiding his eyes. “I felt I had to earn that money so Aunt Lucy would keep me, so I wouldn’t be a burden. In some sort of weird logic I figured if I made my own money, bought my clothes, looked after things, she wouldn’t mind having me there so much.”
    She watched the furrow on his forehead deepen as he considered her words.
    “I’m sure your aunt was happy to have you there, Lyn. She was a lot older, I know. But I don’t believe she ever meant to make you feel beholden or unwelcome. You probably imagined that. She just wasn’t used to having a child around.”
    Caitlin nodded thoughtfully. “Could be,” she admitted. “Things get skewed when you’re a kid. Iwithdrew because I didn’t like my own reality. I didn’t think much about her side of it, I guess.” She munched on her bread stick for a few minutes, trying to discern reality from her memories.
    “Addie’s like that, too. When we discuss her food choices from the week before, it’s simple to see she’s camouflaging her feelings by overeating.”
    “I suppose everyone does that.”
    “Maybe. For a time. But when it goes on long-term, it’s denial. That gets serious.” Caitlin threaded her fingers together and then, when she realized what she was doing, laid them in her lap.
    “I recognize it because I did the same with my aunt. Lucy wanted a calm, quiet retirement, and I tried to give her that. I didn’t feel comfortable inviting anyone over, and I sure wasn’t in with the group who held sleep-overs. I used my books to escape.” She smiled softly, remembering those fantasy