I’ll notice if you wander into the deep end,’ I warn them.
‘Can you get us our swimming trunks?’ Josh asks.
Not only do I not fancy rooting through other people’s things to find swimwear for the boys, but that sounds like it will take a long time and I’m worried today will be my last chance to get some proper work done.
‘You wear underwear, right?’
Josh and Max nod.
‘Well, you’re sorted. Go, have fun.’
The boys look at each other for a moment, unsure of whether or not I have the authority to let them go swimming in their underpants. They don’t think it over for too long before running towards the pool, screaming with delight before dive bombing into the beautiful blue water.
I only get to feel like the world’s coolest babysitter for a moment before I realise that it is proving almost impossible to concentrate on my work with Josh and Max screaming and splashing each other. I can’t exactly go and work in another room, not after the jokes I made about drowning them in the sea. Whether it’s the sea
or
a swimming pool, if I kill these kids my sister will almost certainly have another reason to blame me for ruining her wedding – and I can’t have that.
‘Hey guys, do you want to watch a movie?’ I ask.
‘We’ve seen all the kids’ movies they have here,’ Max calls back.
‘What about if I let you watch a grown-up movie?’
The boys both cheer with excitement as they climb out of the pool.
‘Come on, this way.’ I toss them each a towel and head for the play room.
‘Right, let’s see,’ I say to myself as I examine the top shelf of the cupboard where the DVDs are kept. They actually have quite a good selection – I’m a total film buff and even I’m impressed. I quickly run my finger past any movie that I was involved in writing or any others of a similar genre, I don’t want to fill their young, impressionable minds with any romantic junk. ‘Pulp Fiction,’ I squeak with delight. ‘Have you seen it?’
The boys shake their heads, it’s like they haven’t even heard of it.
‘What? You haven’t seen Pulp Fiction?’ I ask in disbelief, putting to the back of my mind the fact that the boys are ten years old. ‘It’s a masterpiece.’
Maybe it’s because I take my love of movies very seriously, maybe it’s because I’m a devout Quentin Tarantino fan or maybe it’s because I just want to go against my auntie’s wishes, but I decide that this is the movie the boys should watch.
‘Just don’t tell your parents, OK?’
They nod eagerly.
I pop the DVD in the machine and sit myself down on the sofa with Josh and Max. I’ll stick around for a few minutes, just to make sure they’re enjoying it, and then I’ll head back into the pool room and do my work.
As the opening scene in the diner plays out, Josh and Max’s eyes are glued to the big screen. Ah, that look of wonder, that mesmerised stare – I remember when I watched my first Tarantino movie, they’re going to love it.
“I love you, Pumpkin.”
“I love you, Honey Bunny.”
‘Well, I’m going to leave you guys to enjoy this,’ I say as I head for the door, but it falls on deaf ears.
I grab a couple of beanbags, one to hold the door to the games room open and one to do the same with the door to the pool, that way I’ll be able to hear them if they need me. As I put the second beanbag in place, I overhear the line: “Any of you fucking pricks move and I’ll execute every one of you motherfuckers! Got that?” For a moment it occurs to me that maybe this isn’t the best film to put on for a couple of kids whose parents have sheltered them from bad language and inappropriate behaviour their entire lives, but that’s exactly the reason they should see it. This movie is a work of art, everyone needs to see it… although probably not when they’re ten years old. Well, Josh and Max are clearly enjoying it and that leaves me to get on with some work. What’s the worst that can
‘Can you get us our swimming trunks?’ Josh asks.
Not only do I not fancy rooting through other people’s things to find swimwear for the boys, but that sounds like it will take a long time and I’m worried today will be my last chance to get some proper work done.
‘You wear underwear, right?’
Josh and Max nod.
‘Well, you’re sorted. Go, have fun.’
The boys look at each other for a moment, unsure of whether or not I have the authority to let them go swimming in their underpants. They don’t think it over for too long before running towards the pool, screaming with delight before dive bombing into the beautiful blue water.
I only get to feel like the world’s coolest babysitter for a moment before I realise that it is proving almost impossible to concentrate on my work with Josh and Max screaming and splashing each other. I can’t exactly go and work in another room, not after the jokes I made about drowning them in the sea. Whether it’s the sea
or
a swimming pool, if I kill these kids my sister will almost certainly have another reason to blame me for ruining her wedding – and I can’t have that.
‘Hey guys, do you want to watch a movie?’ I ask.
‘We’ve seen all the kids’ movies they have here,’ Max calls back.
‘What about if I let you watch a grown-up movie?’
The boys both cheer with excitement as they climb out of the pool.
‘Come on, this way.’ I toss them each a towel and head for the play room.
‘Right, let’s see,’ I say to myself as I examine the top shelf of the cupboard where the DVDs are kept. They actually have quite a good selection – I’m a total film buff and even I’m impressed. I quickly run my finger past any movie that I was involved in writing or any others of a similar genre, I don’t want to fill their young, impressionable minds with any romantic junk. ‘Pulp Fiction,’ I squeak with delight. ‘Have you seen it?’
The boys shake their heads, it’s like they haven’t even heard of it.
‘What? You haven’t seen Pulp Fiction?’ I ask in disbelief, putting to the back of my mind the fact that the boys are ten years old. ‘It’s a masterpiece.’
Maybe it’s because I take my love of movies very seriously, maybe it’s because I’m a devout Quentin Tarantino fan or maybe it’s because I just want to go against my auntie’s wishes, but I decide that this is the movie the boys should watch.
‘Just don’t tell your parents, OK?’
They nod eagerly.
I pop the DVD in the machine and sit myself down on the sofa with Josh and Max. I’ll stick around for a few minutes, just to make sure they’re enjoying it, and then I’ll head back into the pool room and do my work.
As the opening scene in the diner plays out, Josh and Max’s eyes are glued to the big screen. Ah, that look of wonder, that mesmerised stare – I remember when I watched my first Tarantino movie, they’re going to love it.
“I love you, Pumpkin.”
“I love you, Honey Bunny.”
‘Well, I’m going to leave you guys to enjoy this,’ I say as I head for the door, but it falls on deaf ears.
I grab a couple of beanbags, one to hold the door to the games room open and one to do the same with the door to the pool, that way I’ll be able to hear them if they need me. As I put the second beanbag in place, I overhear the line: “Any of you fucking pricks move and I’ll execute every one of you motherfuckers! Got that?” For a moment it occurs to me that maybe this isn’t the best film to put on for a couple of kids whose parents have sheltered them from bad language and inappropriate behaviour their entire lives, but that’s exactly the reason they should see it. This movie is a work of art, everyone needs to see it… although probably not when they’re ten years old. Well, Josh and Max are clearly enjoying it and that leaves me to get on with some work. What’s the worst that can
Similar Books
