Beautiful by Amy Reed Page A

too,” I say.
    â€œIt’d be nice to hang out just you and me sometime,” he says, and the warm, spreading feeling comes back. “I’d like to get to know you better. Maybe you wouldn’t be so shy if it was just you and me.”
    â€œYeah,” I say, even though I doubt it. I will never be able to talk to him. But I can do things other than talk.
    â€œI have to run,” he says. “Can I have a hug?”
    â€œOkay,” I say, and I cannot remember the last time someone hugged me.
    There are arms around me, a hard chest against mine, hands on the small of my back, breath in my ears. This is when I’m supposed to put my arms around his neck, when I’m supposed to put my face close to his. This is when I’m supposed to kiss him, when he’s touching me and his warmth is getting inside my clothes. I’m supposed to do it now or he won’t be interested later. I must kiss him because what he wants is not my voice. He doesn’t really want to talk. He doesn’t really want to get to know me better, not really know me, not get inside my head where the hidden things are. I must kiss him because what he wants is my mouth, my hands on his back, my body, close, closer. I must turn my head, feel his breath on my face, move my lips to his mouth. Open. Tongue in. Out. Close my eyes. They like it when you close your eyes.
    â€œ
Damn
, girl,” he says, licking his lips.
    â€œWhat?” I say, smiling, my head cocked to one side. I am looking him straight in the eye. I am a different person. I am not scared. I know what he wants.
    â€œJust
damn.
”
    â€œC’mon, man,” someone yells from across the street. The others are laughing their always-laughs that never seem to be directed at anything.
    â€œI gotta go,” he says, backing away and looking me up and down.
    â€œSee you later,” I say. I am still looking in his eyes. Brown. Shallow.
    â€œDefinitely,” he says, then, “Mmm,” and this must be what it feel like to be a piece of meat, to be wanted by someone hungry. This is all I have to do. This is easy. I am delicious.
    Alex and I walk away from the lake. She has a big grin on her face but isn’t saying anything and I’m just waiting for her to tell me I fucked up somehow, that I looked like a fool in front of the high school boys. All of a sudden, she stops walking and looks at me and puts her hands on my shoulders.
    â€œI can’t believe you did that,” she says, smiling at me like I’ve made her proud.
    â€œWhat?” I say.
    â€œJust kissed him like that.”
    â€œWhy?” I am smiling now, too. I have done something right.
    â€œWhat happened to the sweet little virgin Cassie?” She is laughing.
    â€œI don’t know.” I laugh back. I am giddy.
    â€œShe’s gone,” Alex says.
    â€œYeah,” I say. We are running down the street now. We are laughing so hard we’re screaming.
    â€œThe fucking bitch is gone,” Alex says.
    â€œBye-bye,” I say.
    â€œBye-bye, Cassie,” she says.
    â€œBye-bye.”

(SEVEN)
    Sarah is nothing like I expected. She’s not beautiful, but she’s something close to pretty. She’s small and blond and quiet and looks younger than I do, like something made her stop growing. She’s not small like I am, not like a miniature woman, but small like a large child, as if her body’s not strong enough to hold her and there’s nothing between her skin and her bones. Everything that should be solid is brittle. You could break her in half with your hands.
    She gets this blank look on her face, like she’s frozen, like all life has been sucked out of her. She doesn’t even blink, just sits there looking out into space like she thinks that’s where she belongs. You could blow on her and she’d fall over and crumble into a million pieces.
    â€œSarah,” I say. She doesn’t