be home sooner than he had thought. Craig, one half of the duo he was touring with, had fallen ill, and they had to postpone a few of the dates so he could rest up a bit. Logan’s manager scheduled a few hometown shows for him in the meantime and he’d be coming into town in less than 72 hours.
The nostalgia of our conversation made me more excited than ever for Logan to get home. I loved reminiscing about the good times. Making plans for hot dog stands made me feel like I was eighteen again. I drifted off to sleep to the sound of Logan’s goodbye and a vision of our feet swinging above the water off the fishing docks.
14
“Trouble sleeping again?” Jaycie asked as I plopped my breakfast sandwich on my desk.
“On the contrary, I slept very well, actually. Once I got off the phone, at least.”
“Oh?”
“Don’t get too excited,” I said.
I told her about my conversation with Logan and that I was feeling much better about everything. It would still most likely take everything I had not to click on a headline should I see one while browsing the internet, but the less I read about our alleged relationship, the more I could find a sense of normality until it all blew over.
“Well, at least you two are apart for a while. Can you imagine what it will be like once you two are seen together again?” Jaycie said.
My eyes widened. I hadn’t even really thought of that. I took a few ferocious bites of my breakfast sandwich before I told Jaycie about Logan’s detour back to Nashville. Now I could only imagine what our trip to the hot dog stand would be like. I could see the headlines now:
“Logan Kent and secret lover relish their time together”
“Logan Kent red-hot for his new girlfriend”
I shook more creative phrases out of my head.
“Although you may get lucky. A few pretty high-profile celebrities just announced they were breaking up, so you may be replaced in the gossip department.”
“Good gosh, I hope so,” I said.
“In all seriousness, though,” Jacyie said, “how long have you known Logan?”
“My whole life. We’re literally like 12 hours apart in age.”
“And you’ve never once…you know?”
I could see her gesture in the chair and almost fell out of mine. I wish I had one of those super fun stories to tell her about how he was my first time or how we did it on a blanket in the middle of the cornfield underneath the stars after prom or something, but she was about to be disappointed. Apart from the night Logan moved out of Hamden, there had never been anything of that sort between the two of us. A few moments of his lips on mine was all there ever was.
“But why?” Jaycie whined. “He’s so good-looking.”
“It’s just never been that way and now it’s just complicated.”
“And you never think about it? Like ever?”
It was never much in detail, but there were definitely times after he left that I wondered what it would’ve been like to be with Logan. Whether it was a romantic one-time thing or a long-term love fest, I had thought about both during those weeks of crying. I’d wondered if I made the right decision not going with him and if maybe Logan was onto something, but even when I tried, I couldn’t actually see it. The white picket fence, the kids in the yard, it was never there for me. Maybe not never, but definitely not with Logan. Not at that point, anyway. I was still so young back then and had a lot of growing up to do. I still did.
“I kind of feel like maybe you have been doing some thinking about it,” I said.
“Well if we’re being honest, I would by no means object to a night of passion with a man who has an ass like that.”
I shuttered thinking about it. I’m not sure if it was the idea of Jaycie and Logan together or thinking about Logan naked and in a compromising position, but it kind of creeped me out.
For most of the day after that I had to kick myself when those thoughts popped into my head. Jaycie may have scarred me for at
The nostalgia of our conversation made me more excited than ever for Logan to get home. I loved reminiscing about the good times. Making plans for hot dog stands made me feel like I was eighteen again. I drifted off to sleep to the sound of Logan’s goodbye and a vision of our feet swinging above the water off the fishing docks.
14
“Trouble sleeping again?” Jaycie asked as I plopped my breakfast sandwich on my desk.
“On the contrary, I slept very well, actually. Once I got off the phone, at least.”
“Oh?”
“Don’t get too excited,” I said.
I told her about my conversation with Logan and that I was feeling much better about everything. It would still most likely take everything I had not to click on a headline should I see one while browsing the internet, but the less I read about our alleged relationship, the more I could find a sense of normality until it all blew over.
“Well, at least you two are apart for a while. Can you imagine what it will be like once you two are seen together again?” Jaycie said.
My eyes widened. I hadn’t even really thought of that. I took a few ferocious bites of my breakfast sandwich before I told Jaycie about Logan’s detour back to Nashville. Now I could only imagine what our trip to the hot dog stand would be like. I could see the headlines now:
“Logan Kent and secret lover relish their time together”
“Logan Kent red-hot for his new girlfriend”
I shook more creative phrases out of my head.
“Although you may get lucky. A few pretty high-profile celebrities just announced they were breaking up, so you may be replaced in the gossip department.”
“Good gosh, I hope so,” I said.
“In all seriousness, though,” Jacyie said, “how long have you known Logan?”
“My whole life. We’re literally like 12 hours apart in age.”
“And you’ve never once…you know?”
I could see her gesture in the chair and almost fell out of mine. I wish I had one of those super fun stories to tell her about how he was my first time or how we did it on a blanket in the middle of the cornfield underneath the stars after prom or something, but she was about to be disappointed. Apart from the night Logan moved out of Hamden, there had never been anything of that sort between the two of us. A few moments of his lips on mine was all there ever was.
“But why?” Jaycie whined. “He’s so good-looking.”
“It’s just never been that way and now it’s just complicated.”
“And you never think about it? Like ever?”
It was never much in detail, but there were definitely times after he left that I wondered what it would’ve been like to be with Logan. Whether it was a romantic one-time thing or a long-term love fest, I had thought about both during those weeks of crying. I’d wondered if I made the right decision not going with him and if maybe Logan was onto something, but even when I tried, I couldn’t actually see it. The white picket fence, the kids in the yard, it was never there for me. Maybe not never, but definitely not with Logan. Not at that point, anyway. I was still so young back then and had a lot of growing up to do. I still did.
“I kind of feel like maybe you have been doing some thinking about it,” I said.
“Well if we’re being honest, I would by no means object to a night of passion with a man who has an ass like that.”
I shuttered thinking about it. I’m not sure if it was the idea of Jaycie and Logan together or thinking about Logan naked and in a compromising position, but it kind of creeped me out.
For most of the day after that I had to kick myself when those thoughts popped into my head. Jaycie may have scarred me for at
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