Bellissimo Lotta (Beautiful Struggle): Companion Novel to Bellissimo Fortuna (The Family Trilogy Book 2) by Leigh Ann Lunsford Page A

admitting my feelings. He gets me. He makes me feel safe. He makes me feel treasured. I don’t want to feel those things, and I don’t want to give him more of a hold over me than he has.
    I turn the water as hot as it will go and climb in the shower. I bury my face into the spray and let the tears flow. I’ve made a mess of something that was supposed to be fun, supposed to be on my terms. I’ve fallen for Dakota. I feel the cool rush of air against my back, and his hands wrap around my waist. I’m pulled back against his solid chest.
    “You okay?”
    I turn my head. “Fine.” I should have locked the door. I need another minute to get myself under control.
    “I’m sorry.”
    “For what?” If he’s saying he’s sorry he slept with me, I’ll be mortified.
    “If I hurt you. If I put too much pressure on you. Fuck, Bianca, you make my head spin. I don’t know what’s up or down with you.”
    I take a deep breath. “It’s fine, Dakota. That was kind of intense.”
    “You have the lead here, Bianca. Tell me what to do. Tell me what you need.”
    “A minute.” He places a kiss on my shoulder and buries his head in the crook of my neck, his arms still holding me. My body betrays me and relaxes back into his embrace, and I begin to tremble.
    “Take a minute. I’m right here. I’ve got you.” That voice whispering in my ear sets off more waterworks. Turning me to face him, he holds me tighter, tucking my cheek against his steady heartbeat. No words pass as he lets me cry, my tears mixing with the water.
    I’m gaining some semblance of composure, and I step back. “I’m sorry. I’m acting like such a girl.”
    He chuckles. “It’s okay. You’re allowed.”
    I smile at him and laugh. He lets me go long enough to turn off the water. Drying me off and being extra gentle with me, he pulls me back into the room. Instead of going to the bed, he sits down in the chair and pulls me in his lap. His lips skim over my shoulder again and I sigh.
    “Want to talk about it?”
    “It was just more than I thought it would be.”
    “More good? Or more bad?”
    “Honestly, I couldn’t have prepared myself for it. I had all kinds of delusions in my head, but to feel your tongue on me, your hands touching every inch of me, and filling me up was nothing I could have ever dreamed of. It was more. I felt completed.” I swear he wants to pound his chest. He looks quite enamored with himself.
    “Why’d you freak?”
    “I’ve set all the boundaries in my mind, aligned us to avoid failure, but then I blurred those lines. Then you thanked me and looked so happy in the moment, I freaked.”
    “ You’ve made the boundaries, not me. Don’t you want more?”
    “I don’t know that I can give you more. I don’t want to risk myself. It’s hard to explain.”
    “How about we go one day at a time? No titles, except you’re mine. No other guys. No other girls for me, but we go into this with our eyes wide open. If it’s too much for you, tell me.”
    “Is that what you want?”
    “No. I want a title. I want you by my side. But more than all of that, I want to give you what you need, so I’ll take whatever you offer me.”
    “God, Dakota, I feel like a bitch.”
    “Never. Don’t feel like that. You’re being honest, and you aren’t there yet. One day you will be.”
    “What if I’m not?” Something keeps holding me back, and I’m letting my fear dictate my actions. I hate this weakness.
    “Then I’ll have you for as long as you’ll let me.”
    “I don’t want you to get hurt. That’s the last thing I ever want to do.”
    “I know. But in life, there’s pain. It’s a risk I’m willing to take.” He winks at me and pulls my head down to his chest.
    “I’ll try. For you, I’ll try.”
    “Thank you.” He holds me until I drift off to sleep, and for the first time since being with him, I feel free. He allows me to be whatever I need to be. I don’t want to hide anymore.
    You know what they say . .