Bellissimo Rilascio (Beautiful Release): The Family Series #3 by Leigh Ann Lunsford Page B

perplexed.
     
    “Honestly, I wasn’t asking for me. Not interested. Besides you said you weren’t interested in paying for my services, and I don’t give that shit away for free. I do have standards.” He rolls his eyes, and I internally high-five myself for making him lose composure.
     
    “So tell me what you’ve been doing since our last session.”
     
    “I need you to write me a note. A prescription or something to give to my family. They are guarding me like they’re in the Secret Service, and I’m some dignitary. I feel like I’ve evaded a hostile takeover by escaping and driving here by myself. I even got permission to stop at Starbucks on the way home.”
     
    “Bianca, you’re a grown woman and should be able to come and go as you please. You make it seem like you’ve been on house arrest.”
     
    “Exactly. I promise you today is the first day in six fucking months I’ve left on my own. Someone is there when I fall asleep and within an hour of me waking up. Every. Single. Day.”
     
    “I see you haven’t worked on your cussing.”
     
    “No, I owe my nephew a new car so far, so I curb most of it for our therapy sessions.”
     
    “Lucky me.”
     
    “Are you going to write me a note or not?”
     
    “Not. This is where you can exercise your voice. Your wants. Your needs. You, Bianca, have to stand up for yourself, and you have the right to do so.”
     
    “I know, and I kind of did, but immediately felt like shit. My family went through hell that night, and I don’t want to hurt them.”
     
    “I’m sure they were worried, but what about what you went through? Don’t you think you have a right to own what you faced? This isn’t about one being right and one being wrong. It’s learning to vocalize what you’re feeling, accepting not everyone will be happy, and working on a resolution. Ultimately, you are in control of your life, and the only person you have to answer to is you. I can’t tell you not to take their feelings into consideration, but don’t let it outweigh your feelings and desires. It’s your life, Bianca. Own it.”
     
    “It’s not that easy.”
     
    “It is. This is one of the simplest things you’ll have to do. Your family loves you, and even if they don’t agree, they aren’t going to turn their backs on you. You have a support system, use it if you need to, but don’t be afraid to stand on your own. All they want is for you to heal, and the way to prove to them you are is by showing them. There will likely be arguments and hurt feelings but nothing that time and trust won’t fix.”
     
    “Okay. I’ll try to be more assertive.”
     
    “Assertiveness isn’t the problem. You’re able to express your opinions, champion for others, and put many in their place, but you do that as a weapon of sorts, and you don’t use your power when it matters.”
     
    “I think I’m very selfish when needed.”
     
    “To your needs, maybe. But when it really matters you’ve shown selfless behavior and almost become a martyr.”
     
    “I’m not falling on my own sword, Doc. Let’s not go overboard.”
     
    He inhales deeply and exhales loudly. His frustration is apparent, but this time it doesn’t make me feel good . . . it makes me feel like I’m failing at this therapy shit. “I meant in a sense. Consider your wants, your desires as a sword. You’re willing to bury them so deep that they never escape. You’re willing to sacrifice what you want for someone else’s needs, so in a sense, falling on your sword. It isn’t healthy the way you put others’ well-being above your own. It leads to destructive behavior and physical, as well as mental, illnesses further down the line.”
     
    “So how do I fix this?”
     
    “We’re working on that, but you’ve got to want to change it. I’m here to listen, give you the tools, but you have to implement them. It’s a process, Bianca. It’s not going to happen overnight.”
     
    “These sessions keep getting