Bent But Not Broken by Elizabeth Margaret Page B

make music. But I do love listening to it. That's one of the many things that I miss from my real life. Sorry, Crystal. Feeling a bit flat. Talk later.
    Love,
    Abigail
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    Dear Crystal,
    Today I really talked with Miss Anorexic. There was nothing else to do. The weekends are pretty slow. Some of the girls have family visit them during the weekends. I don't know where they go for this, but it sure as hell isn't in the ward. Maybe if they actually came in here they would get their daughters out! I can tell who has a visit because the nurses take extra care making the girl presentable before she is escorted out by an orderly. Mostly they come back okay. Sometimes they are hysterical, and get the needle.
    Like I said, there's not much to do on weekends. There aren't as many orderlies so our time outside can be quite short. Which is a bummer. There's no TV or radio – just the god-awful music they pump through the ward. I've asked Doctor Hobbit to turn if off in my room, which he did. That, at least, was something.
    We do have the option of watching DVDs on the flat screen that is bolted high on the wall. But the nurses control it. We don't have a say in what they put on. In group we've asked Doctor Hobbit if we can choose the movies, but all he ever says is we can talk about it. Nothing seems to change around here. Like they're all stuck in their own little ruts and don't see anything wrong with that.
    The only other entertainment on the weekends is dumbass board games. I whop most of the girls at Boggle and Scrabble, but have given up on Monopoly. It always ends the same way. Kayla can't help herself. She starts munching on the cards and stuff. Someone goes apeshit. There's no fun in in watching it all go down, over and over.
    We aren't allowed to go to each other's rooms. We have to talk in the lounge. I was playing chess with Suzy. She's really smart and interesting. So I took the chance and asked her why she was anorexic. She said it began when she was fourteen.
    Suzy said that because she loved learning, she was really lonely at school. She told me that she never had friends, even at primary school. So she was used to roaming the yard on her own. She said she would try to find a quiet spot to read during lunchtimes, but the kids would hunt her down and give her shit. She took to hanging around the teachers doing yard duty for protection. That gave the kids even more ammo. They dumped on her for being a teacher's pet. It got so bad that she dreaded going to school – especially lunchtimes and in the locker bays.
    She said her only happy time was when she played netball. But Crystal, we both know how bitchy that can be. Apparently some of her team started calling her fat. That she would be a better goal attack if she lost some weight. She took it to heart. Stupid, but that's how it started for her. She began to see herself as fat. She thought that if she could lose some weight the girls in the team would like her better. Didn't happen.
    Suzy said that she realised that the only thing good in her life was her school work. She set about studying really hard, doing more and more. Soon she was way ahead of the class, and the teachers were giving her special work. Can you imagine how well that went down? She copped even more. She got totally miserable. She refused to eat. Breakfast was not a big problem. Her dad left early, so there was only her mum to fool. She'd eat her breakfast, and then go to her room supposedly to get ready for school, but really to throw up. They had no clue because they are rich and she had her own ensuite. Lunch she simply dumped. But her parents were starting to get suspicious. They forced her to stay at the table for tea until her plate was empty. She'd say she was going back to her room to study, but always threw up.
    I asked her how could she do that? Throwing up is horrible. She said you can do anything if you set your mind to it. And she did! The way she explained it to me was